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    Noone2014's Avatar
    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #141

    Mar 27, 2014, 09:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Those are good positive thoughts and the last one is a good one and shows maturity. You will get through this. Your mom listened and took steps to change things. There are girls out there whose situation did not turn out as well, so your ahead of it already.
    Thank you I apologise to everyone for being mental. I seriously need sleep not seeing things to clearly. I shall write down these three things stick it to my mirror thank you. Just need to get this stuff out of my head and be normal
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    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #142

    Mar 27, 2014, 09:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Hmmmm, a little iffy there with the "not" in it. Let's turn that into more of a positive. You try first. Maybe start out with "I'm going to...."
    I am going to be grateful my situation isn't as bad as other people's ? I don't know
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #143

    Mar 27, 2014, 09:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Noone2014 View Post
    Just need to get this stuff out of my head and be normal
    While trying to go to sleep, repeat these three things to yourself over and over again. If you wake up during the night, do more repeating. Drive out those negative thoughts by overlaying them with these positive thoughts. The more you say the positive ones, the more they will become part of your "self-talk."

    And smile while you say them to yourself!
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #144

    Mar 27, 2014, 09:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Noone2014 View Post
    I am going to be grateful my situation isn't as bad as other people's ? I don't know
    Much better. And "I'm going to cooperate fully so this man doesn't do this again to anyone else."
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #145

    Mar 27, 2014, 09:48 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Noone2014 View Post
    I wanted to get drunk because if I did what I felt like doing it would hurt my mum and sister I though that if I got drunk I would not hurt anyone but myself and it would help bunt I get it it won't help
    If you need to remember why you are doing this, and need to find some strength... look at your sister. And remember what you are saving her from. And other girls you don't even know.

    That's something you can be proud of...
    Noone2014's Avatar
    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #146

    Mar 27, 2014, 09:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Much better. And "I'm going to cooperate fully so this man doesn't do this again to anyone else."
    I know I shouldn't complain but I can't say this to my mum I don't want to upset her so I'm just going to write it then forget about it. I'm scared if I have to go to court I find it all very scary and intimidating, I've been in a courtroom on a school excursion they are big and so many people I can imagine having to sit there and answer questions that I find hard to even think of myself and he will be there he scares me the most he hurt me and I've had to pretend like it never did and to see him all the time I heard how mad he was yesterday morning when he came here he was going to come to my room he's mad and I'm scared of him. Sorry to complain but I needed to get that out
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #147

    Mar 27, 2014, 10:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Noone2014 View Post
    I know I shouldn't complain but I can't say this to my mum I don't want to upset her so I'm just going to write it then forget about it. I'm scared if I have to go to court I find it all very scary and intimidating, I've been in a courtroom on a school excursion they are big and so many people I can imagine having to sit there and answer questions that I find hard to even think of myself and he will be there he scares me the most he hurt me and I've had to pretend like it never did and to see him all the time I heard how mad he was yesterday morning when he came here he was going to come to my room he's mad and I'm scared of him. Sorry to complain but I needed to get that out
    It may not come to that -- sounds like that was a jury trial. At first, you will be questioned by someone in the police department. Be sure your mom is with you so you feel protected (and yes, she will do that for you). I'm not sure how the legal system operates in your county, but he will be questioned too (away from you). Be sure you mention how scared you are of him. Of course, he is mad and will try to lie his way out of it, but it sounds like your mum believes you. Your mum seems to have her daughters' best interests at heart. Trust her and cooperate with her.
    Noone2014's Avatar
    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #148

    Mar 27, 2014, 10:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    It may not come to that -- sounds like that was a jury trial. At first, you will be questioned by someone in the police department. Be sure your mom is with you so you feel protected (and yes, she will do that for you). I'm not sure how the legal system operates in your county, but he will be questioned too (away from you). Be sure you mention how scared you are of him. Of course, he is mad and will try to lie his way out of it, but it sounds like your mum believes you. Your mum seems to have her daughters' best interests at heart. Trust her and cooperate with her.
    I already got questioned tonight they took my statement then they asked me questions heaps of questions they wanted to know every detail god it made me feel so horrible they said if they press charges and he pleads not guilty it goes to trial and I doubt he will. They are going to question him and take a statement from him. But they said its hard with out any physical evidence because it happened months ago so I didn't have to do a medical examination and my clothes and bedding have been washed. Just have to wait and see
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    #149

    Mar 27, 2014, 02:31 PM
    I just wanted to apologise to everyone for the way I acted last night for being so stupid and for the way I wrote. I don't know what I was thinking being like that. I can't believe I drank some of mums drink guess now I'm going to have to e plain that one. Thank you for snapping me out of it, I feel horrible today glad I didn't drink the whole thing. I am very grateful for the advice you all have given me and sorry I complain so much. Well I guess I should see if I'm aloud to go to school today, I hope so I really don't want to spend another day here.
    Noone2014's Avatar
    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #150

    Mar 27, 2014, 03:55 PM
    Not aloud to go to school today mum wants me to stay at home. She had to go to work. What to do? I don't have any home work I just wanted to get out of the house take my mind of stuff at home.I might put on some music and clean the house got to do something. Positive thoughts all day today
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #151

    Mar 27, 2014, 04:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Noone2014 View Post
    Not aloud to go to school today mum wants me to stay at home. She had to go to work. What to do? I don't have any home work I just wanted to get out of the house take my mind of stuff at home.I might put on some music and clean the house got to do something. Positive thoughts all day today
    Definitely -- cleaning house is a good way to quiet your mind, a very positive thing to do. Cleaning the bathroom especially calms ME down. And we'll be there with you in spirit, virtually scrubbing right along with you.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #152

    Mar 27, 2014, 09:01 PM
    Cleaning the house is good. That is what I do when I'm stressed. Calms you down and your house is clean.
    Noone2014's Avatar
    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #153

    Mar 27, 2014, 10:15 PM
    I am a bit worried mum said people from families SA are coming around to speak with me. The police have contacted them mum said they have to inform them when a report has been made involving a minor. I don't know what they want I hope I don't have to tell more people. I have a huge headache I wish I could sleep I think I'm going mental lack of sleep I swear when I was cleaning I thought I could hear someone call my name twice. My mum has some sleeping pills in the bathroom thinking about taking some. I don't why I can't sleep would be nice think I've probably had about 5hrs in the last two days I guess that might be why my head hurts
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #154

    Mar 27, 2014, 10:58 PM
    You are tired and stressed. Don't take any pills. As all of this winds down you will be able to sleep again
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #155

    Mar 28, 2014, 05:06 AM
    I looked up Families SA. It looks like they are going to be making certain that you and your sister are safe. They are probably part of getting you help so don't be afraid.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #156

    Mar 28, 2014, 06:50 AM
    I am very proud of what you did. You saved yourself from further abuse, but more, you saved your sister and possibly many other young girls. That's something to be very proud of.

    Now, I am going to be the stern mother voice of the group. I know it's hard, but you have to get off the pity pot. Drugs and alcohol are a coward's way out. They will only make your situation worse than it is already. So stop thinking that way.

    So far you have shown us how strong you are by reporting this. Now, continue to be strong and follow through. If you drink and/or take sleeping pills, there is a chance that your story will not be believed by the authorities and this man will be free to do this to your sister. I know that's not what you want. Is it?

    Your mother is crying because a part of her, you, has been hurt. Until you are a mother you won't know how painful that is. However, your mother is a good mother because she believed you and she is working on getting this solved. She is helping you, so you need to help her.

    Right now the two of you need to work together as a team. Drinking, drugging and hiding isn't going to do it. You will only hurt her worse.

    Rather than hiding this pain, get mad at it. Get mad at him. Do everything in your power to make sure he never does this to another young girl!
    Noone2014's Avatar
    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #157

    Mar 28, 2014, 06:52 AM
    God I'm never going to get a whole nights sleep I took 3 sleeping tablets and I still wake up in the middle of the night. What do I have to do to have a good sleep? Have work tomorrow looking forward to going mum doesn't want me to go but I'm not staying in this house any longer.
    Noone2014's Avatar
    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #158

    Mar 28, 2014, 06:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I am very proud of what you did. You saved yourself from further abuse, but more, you saved your sister and possibly many other young girls. That's something to be very proud of.

    Now, I am going to be the stern mother voice of the group. I know it's hard, but you have to get off the pity pot. Drugs and alcohol are a coward's way out. They will only make your situation worse than it is already. So stop thinking that way.

    So far you have shown us how strong you are by reporting this. Now, continue to be strong and follow through. If you drink and/or take sleeping pills, there is a chance that your story will not be believed by the authorities and this man will be free to do this to your sister. I know that's not what you want. Is it?

    Your mother is crying because a part of her, you, has been hurt. Until you are a mother you won't know how painful that is. However, your mother is a good mother because she believed you and she is working on getting this solved. She is helping you, so you need to help her.

    Right now the two of you need to work together as a team. Drinking, drugging and hiding isn't going to do it. You will only hurt her worse.

    Rather than hiding this pain, get mad at it. Get mad at him. Do everything in your power to make sure he never does this to another young girl!
    God I just read this now I feel horrible I didn't think it was that bad to take a sleeping pill I just wanted to get some sleep
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #159

    Mar 28, 2014, 06:58 AM
    You need to go. You need some sense of normalcy in your life to get through this. Being cooped up is only making your mind wander and making you feel less than human.
    Noone2014's Avatar
    Noone2014 Posts: 155, Reputation: 1
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    #160

    Mar 28, 2014, 07:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    You need to go. You need some sense of normalcy in your life to get through this. Being cooped up is only making your mind wander and making you feel less than human.
    I tried telling her that! I need to go I don't want to lose my job and I don't want to be stuck here in this house. I hope she doesn't get to angry when I go.

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