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hydrodendron · Mar 28, 2014, 05:27 AM

I am happily married for 7 years with 5 year daughter. I am pregnant with second child. My relationship with my husband has been very cordial, understanding and supportive. We have seen many ups and downs together and that had made our relationship more stronger. Personally he used to be a little reserve, career oriented person.

Recently I have been noticing change in my husband's attitude. He has started mingling with people specially ladies in his office. Has started noticing the clothes of girls very keenly! The other day he returned from office trip of 10 days from Denmark, bought expensive gifts for me like Gucci perfume, DC sunglasses etc but he also got 1 Gucci Deo for an lady office colleague and never showed it to me. Accidentally I happen to see his office bag and found it there. On asking he replied that it was meant for a lady and it is on behalf of him and his friend Ajay. On questioning him coolly and properly he admitted that the gift was from his side. I made him realise that it was completely unprofessional to gift an expensive item to an female collaegue. He agreed and never gave that gift to her instead he gifted it to his sister.

The next day he received a call on his mobile at 10.30 in night at home. He pretended as if the call was made by mistake! Since I was not happy with all these developments- I made it clearly evident to him but without fighting. Since then he is trying to patch up but till now we didn't had any serious discussion.

How should I take this incidence- is he cheating on me? Or I am taking things too seriously?

Catsmine · Mar 28, 2014, 07:22 AM

Your relationship is changing. Part of that is your sensitivity, but only part. You are soon to become a family instead of a couple with a baby. He may fear without realizing it that your attention will soon be taken up almost exclusively by the children. He may even realize that that's what he fears.

Is he cheating? Doubtful. The two instances you related and his immediate acceding to your point of view indicate he is trying to cope with your changing relationship.

J_9 · Mar 28, 2014, 07:28 AM

Catsmine, they are already a family with a 5 year old child and another on the way.

talaniman · Apr 2, 2014, 09:29 AM

I don't know if he is cheating or not but you should continue to calmly express your concerns to each other as you define the boundaries of good behavior through this life changing event. Stay cool and keep talking and cope with facts and not just feelings.

Benefit of a doubt that this was a wrong number as he has said would help since connecting incidence and events may NOT be accurate or true. At this time it's only an assumption that the call is related and not enough to merit over reaction.

Jake2008 · Apr 4, 2014, 11:29 AM

Maybe the two of you are too cordial to each other.

If you think he's cheating, or at the very least exhibiting unusual behavior, particularly with other women, then to you, that is a problem. You are entitled to your observations and questions, and you are entitled to honesty.

If this carries on, or you become more concerned, and you feel he is not being honest, seek counseling.

It is impossible to know, what you know, or to offer an opinion on whether he is in fact, cheating. I suspect that, left as it is, things such as communication will suffer, and things will fester.

Please seek help.