[Lilly21]

Hi! I would like to not be judged for this and this is a loong story so bare with me. Anyway I've been with this guy for 3 yrs. I'm 20 his 22. I first found out he was cheating on me a year into our relationship with a girl nearby my house. I took his phone while I was angry and I realised he cheated earlier with 4 other girls. We broke up I thought we were over. My mom passed away a few months later I still wanted nothing to do with him. But he begged me and still during that time he was sleeping with her but denied it and he eventually left that girl.

Things went well but I found out that his cousin used to sponsor him with girls and he had a long distance relatnship with another girl. 2 yrs. during our relationship I found him hooking up with an ex he still meets. They never slept together and 3 months ago he slept with his other ex. He recently scratched my waist so hard that it looked like I was in a cat fight. Its been 3 months and he's shown no sign of cheating. What bothers me is that even when I lost my folks he wasn't there for me instead he triggerd my life with more drama. Other than that we have a great relationship and the only thing truthful is our feelings for each other.

I love him and its hard to let go of our relationship. I've tried breaking up with him but he calls constantly and leaves messages on my phone and always comes to my house to see me. Right now we are happy we didn't argue about anything. He'd be surprised if I dumped him.

Well I need your help. I cannot afford a psychologist but just try and be my mom who would give me great advice if she was alive. Please help !

[smoothy]

How do you leave him? YOU just do it... tell him its over... and don't answer his calls and don't let him in your place. And stick to it... unless you actually like being used and abused.

[joypulv]

Many of us find it hard to leave someone when our lives have been through other losses recently. The best way to leave him is to fill the void with friends and relatives. BEG them to take you with them everywhere they go, even if you can't be cheerful, and tell them not to try to cheer you up. Don't talk about him, however, or they will get tired of it! That is very important. Think of this as a school course, and you have to fill your day completely with activities, whether it's reading or walking or helping people or learning a new subject, or taking up a hobby. Or just being a quiet lump around your friends. Allow yourself 5 minutes of thinking about him before you go to bed - anger is good for recovery. Missing him not allowed, because if you make a choice, you resolve to stick with it and not wallow in self pity or regret.

And do not allow ONE single contact from him, even if you have to change all the ways people contact you. He comes to your door? Don't answer it. Have someone tell him that you will call the police if he does again. Yes, you have to be mean. He doesn't deserve kindness. And it's 'kind' anyway, because going cold turkey is better for him as it is for you.

[Oliver2011]

"I cannot afford a psychologist" - From what I read you don't need one. You just need to be free from that loser.

You are settling for a relationship where your partner treats you badly and doesn't respect you. He knows he can have you and have several others on the side. Why would you want that for yourself? Move on, there are much better partners out there for you.

[Lilly21]

Thank you guys, I have broken up with him,. I knew what I was doing was srupid but it wasn't easy to break up with him and I just needed motivation from anyone. Anyway thanks a lot do continue to answer peaples questions it changes a lot of lives thank you.