[tashabear4445]

Because it has happened to me before and I'm not sure if its okay with my mom letting me starve.

So basically if I'm 5 or more minutes late to dinner she starts shouting at me and punishes me with having no dinner. Then I will still need to go downstairs and sit with my parents and not eat anything and just watch them eat with me sitting there stomach rumbling.

Or even when I accidentally drop the tiniest piece of crumb on the floor or spill a drop of milk/juice whatever I'm drinking and they will take it away and not let me eat no more and say that mice will start entering the house.

I'm not sure but I feel this is abuse just for being a few minutes late for dinner because at school we have lunch from 11:15 to 11:45 and I have dinner at 6:30 so if I don't eat dinner then after eating from 11:45 at lunch I will have to wait until 7:30 in the morning for breakfast where I'm increasingly starving! I have even gone more than 3 days in a row without dinner and I feel like I'm barely eating. I'm tired of sobbing in the bathroom about not getting dinner.

So I just wanted to know if its okay to punish a child like this?

[ma0641]

So why not be on time?

[Curlyben]

Simple answer while you're living under your parents roof, follow the rules, implicitly and without question.

[Cat1864]

How old are you? Why are you late to dinner? Not being hungry when the rest of the family is ready to eat is not an excuse.

Are you snacking after school or drinking a lot that might be decreasing your appetite? The reason I ask is that you seem to be up for lunch four hours after breakfast, but not ready for dinner six hours after lunch. It makes me wonder what is going on. What might you need to change besides being late?

The part I find questionable about your parents' behavior is taking food and drink away from you for a drop or crumb going astray. Since they aren't here I am going to ask if that might be a bit of an exaggeration.

[smearcase]

Was ok in the previous century when I was a kid, but not in this day and age I think. I believe if you are in U.S. and report this to your school, they would probably be required to look into it. But, wouldn't it be a lot easier on everyone to just be on time? Not being punctual and/or not following rules will make life harder on you, and the penalties will be even more severe if the bad habits follow you into adulthood.

[Alty]

I agree with the above posters. I also know, from having children, that children tend to exaggerate their punishments. Talk to the parents and you normally find out that the kids are making the punishment, and the rules, sound a lot harsher than they actually are.

Having said that, missing a meal is not going to kill you. The very fact that you posted " I'm not sure if its okay with my mom letting me starve", shows that you do indeed exaggerate. Do you know how many days without food it would take for you to actually starve?

Your parents have rules. Instead of complaining about the punishment when you disobey the rules they have in place, try actually following the rules they have. Then you won't have to worry about missing dinner.

[joypulv]

If you are starving, you can get to the dinner table on time. You can get there EARLY, and offer to set the table and carry dishes in or fill glasses...
None of us liked the rules we had as kids. Mine were worse than yours.

Oh, and THANK the person who cooked the food, and see what happens. And the person who earned the money to pay for it, and the one who shopped for it, and lugged it home. And the one who cleans the floors. Show some appreciation once in a while, and help out, and see how quickly you start to be treated as a young adult.

[talaniman]

I bet they warned you many times before they actually punished you. You should have listened and obeyed.

[smoothy]

As was mentioned... you can live for roughlyr 4 weeks without food... but only a couple days without water.

It makes you uncomfortable... and makes you think, which is WHY they do it... maybe next time you will show up when you are supposed to... you have practically no other responsibilities now... except your homework and a precious few chores.

Be thankfull you have three full meals and snacks... and don't have to worry about where your next meal is coming. Maybe you will appreciate what you have now instead of whining about it.

Some day you will probibly have to make the decision of paying for gas to get to work, OR lunch that day for a day or week or a few weeks .... Because you can't afford both. Then you can think back at this and remember all you had to do was show up on time.

[tashabear4445]

Thanks everyone for all the answers you guys helped a lot!

Yeah I'm only late to dinner because I still need to use the bathroom and stuff but maybe I can try going a few minutes early next time or even go downstairs without being asked. But I have read all of your answers and thought it through the day.

Sorry if I sounded like I was exaggerating it too much which I think I was I was probably mad but you guys helped me.

Anything else I should know?

[Fr_Chuck]

While I personally do not believe in this punishment, it will not hurt anyone to miss a meal sometimes.

It is a common punishment.

[Jake2008]

No child should be denied food.

I don't think we're talking about a lack of food here, which would be bad enough. But to deny a child food, is about as wrong in my book, as it gets.

Then to give food, and for a few crumbs on the floor, to take away food, is also wrong in my opinion.

Losing your phone, or use of the computer, or getting grounded, or missing the school dance, would still be punishment, and even at that, for being a few minutes late, or dropping a few crumbs, seems excessive as well.

Having not enough to eat is one thing, but having food to eat, and not being allowed to eat it is unconscionable to me.

Food, shelter, and clothing are the basic responsibilities of parents to provide. In your case, taking away nourishment to punish you for being a few minutes late would mean in a reasonable situation, eating cold food, or no dessert, at the most.

I don't know why your parents would do this. If they deny you food for a very minor infraction that could be handled in a million different ways, seems to me that they are, at the least, lacking in any sense. It is cruel to think that from your lunch at school, until the next morning, you are left hungry, angry, confused, and hurt. How many meals would you miss, or what would they do, if something serious would to happen, like your teacher held you up for a few minutes to talk about a test score, or the bus was late getting you home.

If they are this draconian in punishment with you being a few minutes late, what happens when you actually do something worth being punished for!

I can see no reason for what they do. None. Having never enough food to eat, and always being hungry is one thing- but having food, and being denied food while others enjoy their food in front of you no less, is cruel and unusual punishment.

[tashabear4445]

I'm confused because Jake is saying its not okay for parents to do this and others seem to be saying its okay and just to be there on time so I'm confused

[Wondergirl]

Do you really have to sit at the table and watch everyone eat, but you aren't allowed to? Have you been warned in the past about being late to meals (but no punishment), and continue to be late? You exaggerated about the crumbs and spilling? Are your parents unreasonable about other things you do?

I was going to try to explain what Jake is saying, but I will let her do that herself.

[talaniman]

All parents do things differently. What do you think is the right thing for you to do? Chances are if you do as your parents say, you will not be punished. Or you can keep NOT doing as they say and be punished. Make a decision. Follow it, and don't be confused.

Consider this, you have never given a good reason you are late, knowing you were expected to be on time. I conclude like many here that you didn't take your instructions seriously, and just blew them off. I know good and well you don't expect NO punishment, and would not be happy with any punishment you got.

Do as your parents instruct you to do, is the bottom line.

End of confusion.

[Enigma1999]

I have never sent my children to bed without dinner.

Now, if they don't like what is on the menu that night and choose to be picky and not eat it? Then so be it. I'm not quite sure if I agree with what your parents are doing, HOWEVER, if you have been warned not to be late, then I wouldn't be late anymore. That's just me though.

The crumbs on the floor seems a little obsessive compulsive. Then again, are you the type that makes a mess and doesn't clean it up? If that's the case, then I can see your parents growing tired of cleaning up after you. I'm not quite sure if you mentioned your age?

[tickle]

No, apparently you got it my dear !

[Alty]

Different parents have different styles of parenting, and different idea for how to punish their children. That's very obvious with the replies you've gotten here.

The fact is, just because one parent says it's wrong, doesn't mean it's wrong for your parents. Sending your child to bed without dinner once in a while, isn't abuse. It is a form of punishment that has been around for a long time. Some parents utilize this punishment, others don't.

I myself do not use this punishment on my children. But, I don't disagree with those that do.

In other words, you shouldn't be confused. Follow the rules of your household set by your parents, and you'll be fine. That's the reason for punishments, to teach you how to be a respectable adult when you grow up. When you become a parent it will be up to you do decide how to discipline your children. If you feel strongly against sending a child to bed without dinner, you will likely find another way to get your children to obey your rules.