[Mjaragosky]

I was raped by my father when I was 7 years old. I have lived my entire life in denial, pretending it never happened. I have continued to interact with the man until this day. As far as I can currently remember no other instances of horror. I am finally dealing with the emotional trauma this incident has created in my mind, a 7 year old child trying to heal herself really does not work as well as I had planned. The state it occurred in has no limits on child rape, meaning I can still now press charges. Is it wrong of me to seek criminal justice now? 23 years later?

[tickle]

If that is the only way you can find closure, then yes, you have to do it.

[Jake2008]

If this is something that you are now, 23 years after the fact, learning to cope with and work through, I would recommend that you first seek counseling.

There is so much about a situation like yours that you may not yet realize. For instance, how it has affected your life, in ways you might not yet connect. I have no idea how you have coped with this. To have had this simmering until you are now in your 30's, is not, however, unusual- you are surely not alone, and there is sometimes comfort in knowing that.

I'm just thinking that it might be part of your healing, to first come to terms with what happened, at least enough so you have confidence to move forward with charges against your father.

Have you ever talked to your mother, or any siblings about what happened to you. Have you thought of confronting your father? Do you think that there may have been other victims- cousins, other children.

There are women at AMHD, who have experienced what you have, and would be invaluable in helping you. I hope that they weigh in.

[Mjaragosky]

I have never spoken to anyone actually. I have never spoken the words aloud.These are my first few days that I have actually accepted that I have been in shock for so long. I am unsure what steps are best for healing.

[dontknownuthin]

I would recommend counseling to help you make this decision

[Alty]

I don't want to get into my story, since this isn't about me, but you, but long story short, just so you know that you're not alone in dealing with something like this, I was molested by a family member from the age of five for many years. It wasn't until my daughter turned 5 that I began to deal with what had happened to me. It was not an easy road to travel.

I highly recommend counseling in this. Shop around for a counselor, the first few didn't work for me because we didn't mesh. Thankfully I didn't give up and I found a counselor that I can easily relate to. A counselor is like a friend, you won't like all people you meet, you won't mesh with everyone you meet, you have to look around and be picky.

As far as prosecuting him for this, that's really something only you can decide. I would suggest discussing that with the counselor you find, before taking action either way. Since there's no time limit, you have the time to really think things through, get the help you need, and then decide if you want to go through the pain of prosecuting him for this. This is a very personal decision, and not an easy one to make by any means.

I'm not a counselor, but if you do need to talk, I'm here, as are many other wonderful people that are here to listen and help as much as we can. But I can't stress enough how much a counselor helped me deal with what happened to me.

[Fr_Chuck]

I agree, first step is professional counseling, since criminal action ( if possible, since I do not know of any state that does not have a SOL on this) may be something but often it can drag things and not give you results you were hoping.

Also please remember at this point there is no physical evidence and merely your memory. A defense attorney will turn this into a "I hate my father" day in questioning and bring up lots of your past trying to prove you are confused.

I would start with counseling which may want you to confront him.