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xiuminlover · Feb 3, 2014, 12:34 PM

I have asked out lots of boys but they all say no and I am really lonely and ALL of my friends have boyfriends and I just have to stand there like a weirdo

talaniman · Feb 3, 2014, 12:38 PM

How old are you and you sound desperate. Where do you ask them to go?

xiuminlover · Feb 3, 2014, 12:44 PM

14 and what?

smoothy · Feb 3, 2014, 12:46 PM

First you don't ask ALL the boys... you get a reputation very, very fast... and they are hard to outgrow,

You keep it down to the few you actually know well enough you might have something in common with... no boy or girl has enough in common with every other boy or girl to justify even considering asking out. THerefor one that does ask EVERYONE quickly earns a repuation as someone with very low standards.

And lastly... even if you are selective, everyone you ask isn't going to be interested... you take it in stride.

xiuminlover · Feb 3, 2014, 12:48 PM

Well not ALL the boys of course... but I just feel like a wierdo... for a privet reason

Homegirl 50 · Feb 3, 2014, 12:49 PM

Are you asking out boys you know, that you have a friendship with or are you asking out just any guy? What does "asking out" mean. You are a little young for dating.

ScottGem · Feb 3, 2014, 12:50 PM

At 14 you are just starting to get into the dating scene. Have your parents given you permission to date? And what, exactly, does ask out mean? Are you asking them to take you a movie or bowling or are you asking them to be your boyfriend or what? As smoothy said what you are doing is probably turning boys off, giving you a reputation or attracting a boy who will take advantage of you.

Talk to your very close girlfriends, ask them to set you up maybe go on a double date?

odinn7 · Feb 3, 2014, 12:51 PM

I think at your age...you worry too much.

xiuminlover · Feb 3, 2014, 12:53 PM

Yes.. my parents have given me permission to date and I mean by asking them to be my boyfriend-they all think I'm weird because I listen to Korean music (like girls generation and EXO)

talaniman · Feb 3, 2014, 12:54 PM

You said you ask them out. To where is my question. Why do you feel weird? Because your friends have boyfriends and you don't? Look around, most of the girls don't have boyfriends, and I bet they are not desperate to have one either.

xiuminlover · Feb 3, 2014, 12:55 PM

Well they say I am weird

smoothy · Feb 3, 2014, 12:58 PM

In this case using the word "lots" can interchange with "every"...

Have you talked with your parents about this yet? You should. As was mentioned... exactly where do you think you are going to be going without their knowing about it...

And as I said... there really shouldn't ever be more than a select few you would want to ask out... otherwise it looks like you are willing to settle for anything... as in having low standards. There is a lot of hidden meaning behind why you would even want to do that even if you don't realise it now... and that will get you in major trouble very quick.

There are far more important things in life than boys right now... in fact none of them are likely to be in your circle of friends in a few more years after you graduate... assuming you don't go down that path and DON'T graduate.

Plenty of time for these sorts of distractions after you graduate.

ScottGem · Feb 3, 2014, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by xiuminlover

Yes.. my parents have given me permission to date and I mean by asking them to be my boyfriend-they all think I'm weird because I listen to Korean music (like girls generation and EXO)

Even in today's liberal world, it is still weird for a girl to go around asking boys to be their boyfriend. And that's NOT how dating works. Dating is having a boy go someplace with you, like I said a movie, bowling, school event, etc.. And if you have fun, you do it again, and again until you agree to become boyfriend/girlfriend.

xiuminlover · Feb 3, 2014, 01:00 PM

Look I came on this site to get help... instead I get bombarded with unnecessary questions

smoothy · Feb 3, 2014, 01:04 PM

Why don't I believe your parents gave you free reign to date at 14?

Incidentally... thats not how you find a boyfriend or girlfriend... if someone walked up to me and asked that I'd think they are weird too... and it has nothing to do with your choice in music.

A boyfriend or girlfriend is a very close and special friend you have had for some time and grown to know that have become something more than a really good friend. You never jump straight from acquantance to boyfreind/girlfreind in one quick move.

You don't start the school year by taking final exams and then getting to learn the course material afterwards do you?

Homegirl 50 · Feb 3, 2014, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by xiuminlover

Look I came on this site to get help... instead I get bombarded with unnecessary questions

These so called unnecessary questions help us to answer your question.
Did you have a friendship with these guys, been out with them before, they indicated they may like you, before you asked them to be your boyfriend? Or are you just asking random guys?

ScottGem · Feb 3, 2014, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by xiuminlover

Look I came on this site to get help... instead I get bombarded with unnecessary questions

The questions we have asked are not unnecessary. For us to give you proper advice, we need to understand the situation. So we ask questions.

And we have given you help.

talaniman · Feb 3, 2014, 01:10 PM

A more detailed account of what you have done so far and we wouldn't have to ask questions would we? What are we mind readers? You barely explained what you even mean by dating! Or what you ask a guy when you say go out on a date!

What kind of music does everyone else listen too? You want help, you answer questions. That's the way it works.

odinn7 · Feb 3, 2014, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

And we have given you help.

Ah, but! We haven't told her what she wants to hear!

So everyone is right....you can't just select someone and ask them to be your boyfriend. I wouldn't go for that unless maybe it was Kate Beckinsale asking me to be her boyfriend (but for her I would make the exception). The fact is, people will think you're weird to just keep asking people out.

And your reasoning is flawed....you need to have a boyfriend because your friends do? That makes you a follower which in turn makes you weird. Be your own person. Live for yourself. Someone will come along for you when the time is right.

smoothy · Feb 3, 2014, 01:12 PM

Sorry... this is life... we were that age... many of us have kids your age... some have grandkids your age... ALL of us have been your age. Many of us are guys who understand boys and know exactly what boys think and want at that age...

Girls who don't have that knowledge and guidance find themselves pregnant and without any social life for the rest of their lives... mostly because few teenage mothers finish school... and those who don't finish school struggle to make enough on low paying jobs to pay the rent and put food on the table... there is rarely enough time after that and never enough money to have fun that the other people have.

Sorry if you think that's harsh... I've known far too many girls personally that have gone down that path... and at 14, you are trying to take that road... and I'm surprised your parents just say fine... have fun. Because that's not how parents react.