[Unknown96]

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 2 and a bit years. We have been through a lot together and all we do is argue. I can't help it, I get jealous at silly things and I can be really nasty. I am really horrible due to past relationships. He makes me so happy and I don't want to lose him. We have a son together and they both mean the world to me. I hate it when he speaks to other women. Please can someone help?

[joypulv]

A - First understand that you are not 'horrible due to past relationships.' Your past relationships were horrible because both you and all those past men had similar inabilities to have a respectful and thoughtful relationship.
B - Second, this man is not the past men. It makes NO SENSE to treat him with suspicion, jealousy, and off the handle emotions because of someone else, or 10 someone else's. He is NOT THEM.
C - And this is the most important: plan on losing him if you don't change. Sooner? Later? It doesn't matter, it's 100% going to happen if you don't change! And you can change, because we all have petty jealousies and anger, but we PUT A LID ON THEM, knowing that the reward is keeping the person we want to keep.
In addition, talking to other women is healthy. It's good for a long term (LIFE?) relationship to do so, both of you. Can you talk to other men and not hop into bed with them? Of course you can. So can he. Force yourself to believe this, over and over. Say it, over and over.

Start right now, today, this minute, and report back how you are doing.

[smoothy]

If all you do is argue after all this time.. then the relationship is not meant to be. You are who you are, and he is who he is. Neither of you can change. Cut your losses and move on, hopefully the next one will be better. Eventually you will find the right person where you will rarely argue.

Jealousy is toxic to any relationship. But dealing with that comes from within....I'd recomend councelling for that....an objective third party will see behaviours and traits you yourself might not notice you have.

[talaniman]

Think before you speak or act. That will help you be cool, calm, collected, and in control of yourself. Then you can talk and listen, without being mean and nasty. Making him pay for your baggage of the past isn't the way to go and after more than 2 years and a bit, you should already know that.

[Homegirl 50]

I'm surprised he is still there. Get some counseling to deal with your insecurities before he gets tired and leaves.
It also helps to think before you speak.

[Alty]

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step. Changing the behavior that you acknowledge to be a problem, is the second step.

Only you can change how you treat him. If he's as important to you as you claim he is, that's great motivation to stop treating him badly because of what others have done to you.