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allinthefamily · Jan 22, 2014, 03:37 PM

The question title basically sums it up. She is in CA he's in KS. If the court orders genetic testing, how long does she have to comply with the KS order? And what happens if she doesn't? I can't find the answer to this!!

Background if you want it. They were dating (and she was unfaithful on numerous occasions) and she wound up pregnant, so he married her in KS trying to be the good guy (we ALL fought against it, but both were adults who could make their own decision). Fast forward a few months and she LEAVES before the birth of the child and the child is born in CA. She is in and out of his life for the next couple of years (I don't know exact timelines, but out more then in), and ends up pregnant and has a second child in CA (he has not spent anytime with her during that pregnancy or birth of that child). He is 99.9% certain the 2nd is definitely not his and strongly feels the 1st is not either (she refuses to cooperate with voluntary DNA testing for either), yet she has court ordered child support, despite them not residing together for more then 2yrs by that 3rd pregnancy claim.

He is extremely gullible and we're furious with him, don't misunderstand, we do not feel sorry for him, but we are trying to find out the legal means for him to verify they are his kids and get visitation. Since she's been out of state, the courts have not seemed to help him in getting visitation but no problems taking money. (surprise, surprise). I have found the "marriage" "implies paternity" per the courts (at least per the 1st child), but they were not residing together when she would have gotten pregnant (the 2nd now supposedly 3rd time, which can be established via phone records).

He said he's petitioned for divorce, but she's refusing to comply (I have no further information on that). To my knowledge he has not done anything legal with the kids/visitation. When he has spoken to her about seeing the kids, she says she will call the cops on him and of course that has him scared, and of course, she is constantly back and forth saying they aren't his one minute, then turning around and saying they are the not (typical games). Trying to search and ask questions ends up in fruitless loops and it's frustrating.

What next steps can he take? He has gone through a couple of lawyers that took him through the ringers and got him nowhere. :(

allinthefamily · Jan 22, 2014, 03:43 PM

My apologies, all the editing is gone from my original post!

aliseaodo · Jan 22, 2014, 03:48 PM

I've asked for it to be edited for you. How did she get court ordered child support? Aren't they still married?

allinthefamily · Jan 22, 2014, 04:01 PM

Yes they are, we don't know. This has been one big screw-up after another. He seems to have a more competent attorney now. But so much damage has been done already!

aliseaodo · Jan 22, 2014, 04:14 PM

I am no law expert in any way, but if they are still married, why does he think he needs 'visitation' from the courts at all? Why doesn't he just go see them? Is there some sort of restraining order against him or something? Feel like I'm missing something... who ordered the support?

J_9 · Jan 22, 2014, 04:24 PM

If they have been legally married for all, or even a portion, of the pregnancy then he is presumed the legal father in the eyes of the law. He would be responsible for child support.

It doesn't matter that they weren't living together as they were still legally married. In many US states a couple must be legally divorced for a certain number of days before the husband is not presumed the legal father.

allinthefamily · Jan 22, 2014, 04:34 PM

There aren't any restraining orders, and she has called the police on him during any one of her times back in ks.

It is a seriously messed up situation

allinthefamily · Jan 22, 2014, 06:33 PM

The only thing we really can't find an answer to is how long she has to comply with a court ordered DNA test. We know what happens if she doesn't, but we cannot find out how long she has.

He is a good guy and no arrests were ever made, I know at least one time they were told to find separate lodging for the night. Other then that, she has no truthful/legal foot to stand on.

I know the hardest part is he can't come to grips with whether they are his or not. He has an overwhelming sense of responsibility. He wants to be in their life if they are his, but she has made it a living he11 for him :( The first one he was willing to look the other way, but then she took off (the baby was born within 3mths after they married) and played cat & mouse with him for almost 2yrs and then had the 2nd child (he's positive it isn't his) and he just can't take it anymore. Now the new attorney is going for DNA testing and she's claiming to be pregnant with a 3rd (they haven't had contact in over a year!).

I believe it's for personal reasons that he has not pursued a divorce harder/sooner.

J_9 · Jan 22, 2014, 06:36 PM

He will have to ask the attorney how long she has to comply with the court order.

ScottGem · Jan 22, 2014, 06:42 PM

Forget about the DNA test for now. If there is a child support order, he needs to get a copy of it. He has a right to it. He had to have been served with an order to pay the support.

So the first order of business is to get a copy of this order. Once he has that, he can then file with the court that issued the order to have it overturned. First on the grounds that the children aren't his. The court will then order a DNA test. She will be given a time limit to comply. That limit will be set by the court. If she refuses to comply then he requests that the child support be cancelled.

allinthefamily · Jan 22, 2014, 06:48 PM

Thank you ScottGem! That is what I will let him know!

So the court sets the time limit? Does anyone know how long that could be? I have been able to find that some states have a time limit for fathers (generally it has to be done by the next hearing that the information is needed for). But I cannot find any matching time limits for the mother refusing.

ScottGem · Jan 22, 2014, 07:15 PM

It will depend on the court. Its an administrative rule, not statutory. I doubt if it will be more than 90 days. A DNA swab can be done in a matter of minutes. So its not a big deal.

But I don't think this needs to be your focus. This has apparently gone on for a long time, much longer than it should have been. Probably because he didn't have an attorney or exercise his legal rights.

allinthefamily · Jan 23, 2014, 06:19 AM

ScottGem: But I don't think this needs to be your focus. This has apparently gone on for a long time, much longer than it should have been. Probably because he didn't have an attorney or exercise his legal rights.

This is the nail on the head, I think he was totally overwhelmed when this "nice girl" turned into the monster she has become. He didn't know which way to turn and got so deep into it before he realized he needed outside help! (I put it in quotes because only he thought that about her)

I really appreciate your helpful advice and hope he will act on the information! I just needed to know what direction he should go in next!