[jane2011]

Hi I have been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks. Anyway we started to talking about our lives etc and he tells me about girls he has been with. Anyway I kind of get jealous. How do I stop being this way. Maybe I am insecure. Or like him more than I thought.

[smoothy]

How old are you?

[jane2011]

Hi 32

[smoothy]

OK... then its less normal that it would be if you was 16... thats why I had to ask that.

View it from this perspective... he's being honest with you because he likes you. Also consider this, while most women view other women as their competition... guys don't see women that way... if a guy has dated 10 women... he doesn't rate the value of one against what the others could and couldn't do... because everyone is different and its like comparing apples to oranges. Most of us guys see it as an opportunity to learn to understand women. THe more women we have dated... the more we understand how they think... and you do think very different than a guy.

A man that's dated one woman is really not going to be very good at understanding you... a guy that has dated a few will understand much better (assuming he actually paid attention). Also someone that's dated a number of other people will recognise when they have found a good one... as well as know when to run for the hills.

As I guess you understand... few guys find being insanely jealous an endearing attribute. So look at it this way... he likes you well enough to open up to you... its his way of telling you what he's been through and if he wanted to be with any of them still, he wouldn't be there with you.

If you understand that you shouldn't see them as competition... but if you still do... view them as those who have lost... because now you have his attention and they don't. You should feel more at ease.

Also... would you rather find this out now... or later? If you heard it later you would or at least could view it as him hiding it from you.

[talaniman]

Your feelings are normal for YOU. Its what you do with them and how you handle them that counts. You may be insecure, and the jealousy is from not knowing him, or his feelings for you as much as his past female relationships. Listen, and learn, and not just feel, as more will be revealed. Probably about you both.

Talking for a few weeks is the beginning. Keep talking. Relax.