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lrdlove · Jan 21, 2014, 02:01 PM

Hi all
During a long term injury where you are pretty in happy in life is it surprising to find you have pretty deep feelings about a girl because you are sort of worried about been alone and suffering? Or is there just as higher chance that I would like a girl like this even without my injury?

Homegirl 50 · Jan 21, 2014, 02:28 PM

If you are lonely and this girl is paying attention to you, it could give you the feeling of being in love.
How old are you and how much time have you spent with this girl?

lrdlove · Jan 21, 2014, 03:30 PM

We are both 18 and we see each other every day in school. We are constantly laughing and smiling when we see each other.

talaniman · Jan 21, 2014, 03:54 PM

Life I funny isn't it? You were so sad and depressed to be injured and restricted from an important part of your life but had this injury not occurred you may not have had a chance to relate and interact with other people. Yes attraction can grow, and where they leads, nobody knows. Don't get carried away, but enjoy the opportunity that distracts you from your lonely self.

Be grateful for the opportunity. Too soon for the notions of love, and gratitude is often mistaken for love. Love grows, and if its not, it fades as quickly as it appears. Time is what tells.

Homegirl 50 · Jan 21, 2014, 03:55 PM

Do you two talk to each other? Do you have any interaction other than laughing and smiling when you see each other?
I think you have a crush on her. Not love.

lrdlove · Jan 21, 2014, 04:43 PM

We talk quite a bit, I am in a pretty big friendship group with her but when we are alone we talk about more personal stuff.

talaniman · Jan 21, 2014, 05:50 PM

I hope you can relax and enjoy the interaction without getting needy, desperate, jealous, selfish, or just carried away by the thrill of the crush.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2014, 09:30 PM

A girl ran a stop light and hit my car, we fell in love and had a wonderful love affair. It never would have happened, if I had not . 1. been driving 2. she had not been speeding and ran a stop light.

So life happens, what matters is how she feels about you, not just how you feel about her. I feel deeply in love with a girl, almost obsessed at one point, she had no interest, was only being nice. Unless you talk about things with the other person you will never know.

My current wife Toni,
1. she won a computer in a contest
2. I was given a computer by my work place to do business work at home
(neither of us had a computer before this at home)

We both happen to be on a Chat site at the same time,
She thought my user name cute and we talked.

Things just happen.

If you over think things, it makes it confusing.

lrdlove · Feb 5, 2014, 06:59 AM

Hi all, we are still on the girl from the previous questions. I am confused about what to do, I really like this girl and would love to ask her out and she became a girlfriend over time. However, we both have really busy lives at the minute and I don't think I am quite yet ready for a relationship with her. I am confident she likes me at this point- we text, talk and smile at each other when we see each other. But we both have exams coming up and we won't be finished school until late June. So I was thinking of waiting until then to properly tell her I like her and if she would want a relationship. However, I am then worried she might wonder why I haven't made a move with her and I am not actually interested- at this point she may move on to other guys... give up on me and I don't want to see that happen. Any advice please?

Oliver2011 · Feb 5, 2014, 07:14 AM

Why do you put so much pressure on you and on this potential relationship? If your lives are truly busy then concentrate on what you need to be concentrating on. If you want to ask her out then find the time to do so. Nobody studies 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If you do ask her out it doesn't have to be an instant relationship. You are allowed and it is acceptable to go out just as friends. In fact I would argue that starting slow has a much better chance for success than jumping into a relationship too quickly. Regardless, take the pressure off yourself and live in the moment.

Originally Posted by lrdlove

Hi all, we are still on the girl from the previous questions. I am confused about what to do, I really like this girl and would love to ask her out and she became a girlfriend over time. However, we both have really busy lives at the minute and I don't think I am quite yet ready for a relationship with her. I am confident she likes me at this point- we text, talk and smile at each other when we see each other. But we both have exams coming up and we won't be finished school until late June. So I was thinking of waiting until then to properly tell her I like her and if she would want a relationship. However, I am then worried she might wonder why I haven't made a move with her and I am not actually interested- at this point she may move on to other guys... give up on me and I don't want to see that happen. Any advice please?

Cat1864 · Feb 5, 2014, 07:15 AM

No need to start a new thread. We try to keep all information and advice on a subject in one place. Keeps you from having to repeat yourself and us from suggesting the same things that have already been tried.

If you aren't ready to ask her out on a date or broach starting a relationship, then do not say anything to her about your feelings. It would be pure selfishness to tell her to wait until you are ready. Yes, you take the risk she will find someone else. That's part of trying to turn a friendship into a romance. No guarantees.

You may be busy at this time. That won't change. There will always be a reason to wait. Because the time is very rarely 'right' or 'perfect'.

A date doesn't have to be a major outing or take much time. Just be clear that you are asking for a date and not just meeting up as friends.

talaniman · Feb 5, 2014, 08:01 AM

You can ask to share a pizza, or coffee, but confessing feelings of love when you are not so sure yourself is a lousy idea.

lrdlove · Feb 5, 2014, 01:32 PM

Oh OK it seems everyone thinks I should stay quiet? Fair enough. I can't even drop any hints.. Even though I am pretty sure we both know what is going on here but we are too worried(?) to say anything for we are afraid of it blowing up in our faces.

Cat1864 · Feb 5, 2014, 01:55 PM

I think you are looking for reasons not to ask her out on a date. Fear won't go away as long as you keep feeding it.

You say you enjoy talking together, etc. A date is nothing more than a continuation of talking and maybe having a meal together. It doesn't have to mean a committed relationship or declarations of love.

I am saying that you shouldn't play with her emotions or your own. Dropping hints is elementary playground behavior. Telling her that someday in the future you might want to ask her out and wanting her to wait for that day is selfish. Would you want someone to tell you that right now going out on a date with you is on a list of things to do? Would you want to wait around until she got around to checking you off the list?

Either ask her out or remain her friend and let what happens happen.

lrdlove · Feb 15, 2014, 01:28 PM

I have recently become the boyfriend of this girl and I am having confusing feelings. I really like the girl and would stutter all the way to perhaps say love. I have had a desire for this girls for about a year and only in the last 3 or 4 months have we started talking and for about 2 weeks we have been seeing each other. We have kissed and regularly hold hands and I really really care about her. Now I kind of feel as if the chase is over-I have now got my heart's desire. This makes me feel strange like I should be happy I finally got the girl but I am not happy. Is there something wrong with me thinking this, does it mean I can't truly love the girl? Or I never really cared about her in the first place? She is a good looking girl but it is way more than that she is intelligent funny and really nice? So what is the problem? Thanks

Cat1864 · Feb 15, 2014, 01:51 PM

No need to make new threads. Just add the new questions on this subject to this thread. It helps us give you better advice when we have the information in one place.

Stop thinking that because the 'chase' is over so is the challenge. Building a relationship is even more of a challenge because it takes a different type of energy and effort. It takes working with the person and communicating. You have to balance schedules, likes, dislikes, etc. Just because she is going out with you today doesn't mean she will be tomorrow if you aren't putting any effort into the 'relationship'.

I think you need to decide what you want. You have needed to do that from the beginning. Do you want to date, be friends, have a committed relationship or what? What are her expectations?

Why did you ask her out? Because you wanted to date her or because you didn't want anyone else to have the chance?

lrdlove · Feb 15, 2014, 02:14 PM

I am a kid, well 18 and so is she. My point is that it is really difficult to tell you what I want. I think I want a long term relationship which not before long could become a long distance one. She will be going away for 5 years and I will only see her once every 2-3 months if I am lucky.I don't know what her expectations are... should I ask her? How important is it that I know? So who really knows what the future holds and I asked her out because I truly liked her and she like me too but there was also a touch of me not wanting her to be with anyone else. But I sincerely care about her.

talaniman · Feb 15, 2014, 02:55 PM

R-E-L-A-X! Enjoy getting to know her and see if you both can work together to build something, but for now JUST HAVE FUN! Don't neglect your own plans for the future or hopes and dreams.

lrdlove · Feb 26, 2014, 03:28 PM

Hi guys haven't been on here for a while and was just thinking. I have a girlfriend of like two months we are both 18 and I am taking a year out and she is thinking of doing the same thing because she is going on a long course of uni so wants to explore the world. I would like to go to Australia and was thinking would it be OK if I asked her if she wanted to come with me for a month. It would be next Feb and I think we could still be together then. But would she be freaked out it is so soon in to a relationship? Her best friend is no longer taking a year out and so she is stuck for ideas and I thought this could be nice. We were good friends before we started seeing each other so if we did break up we could still go as friends? Just wanted some thoughts

smoothy · Feb 26, 2014, 04:18 PM

Way too soon, for a number of reasons. You really barely know each other yet.. and it in fact could doom your relationship because of it. How do either of you have the money to do that if you are in college?