[madisonchick]

I had a one year relationship with a wonderful man. Problem was, he was always on the fence about us and could not open up and talk about how he felt. I was in love with him (still am) but he claimed he wasn't there. He ended the relationship back in July because I was being insecure about how he felt about me... because he couldn't talk about it. Nevertheless, we broke up and I feel that he really was the one that initiated it. Since July, he really hasn't gone more than a couple of days without contacting me. For a while, I let it happen and stayed in contact until recently. I have asked him not to contact me as I am trying to mend a broken heart. He continued to contact me. I wrote him a letter saying the same thing and he continues to contact me. He texted me on Christmas night saying he was laying in bed thinking about me. He did the same on New Years. He has never said that he wants to get back together, he is just apparently having a hard time letting go. Well, I am trying to move on and he bumped into me on a date the other day. How would this make him feel? And does it matter whether the guy was more attractive or not? The guy I was on a date with was 6'3" o solid muscle - god like. Would it be worse to see me with an ugly man or good looking guy? I didn't do it on purpose and I don't want him to hurt. Frankly speaking, I would love for him to sit down, talk to me, tell me that he misses me and give it another shot. But maybe seeing me move on will tell him that it is time for him to move on. I believe that cutting off contact was the right thing to do but he is having a harder time than I am even when he knows that I love him and he is the one that doesn't feel the same way. Thoughts?

[talaniman]

He had his chance and blew it so ignore him. Him moving on is his problem. Let him have it. In time you will stop dwelling on him. It no longer matter how he feels or what he does, right?

[Fr_Chuck]

The fact you even care or worry "how he feels" is the issue I have, who cares what he thinks, how he feels.

If I said, most likely he went home, cried, got drunk and had sex with a hooker, would it make you feel better ?

If he could care less, would you be upset ?

Your issue is with you, not him. He is a ex, and you need to leave him as a ex.

Normally a ex will blame you, no matter what type of guy, a good looking guy, they will try and say, well she would have left me anyway, for a good looking guy, glad to know she is that type of women.

A ugly guy, he would say, she has no taste, glad I found it out before it was too late.

A man seldon takes responsibility

He does not sound too much on a fence if he would not stop being in contact??

[madisonchick]

Thanks guys. All good points. I am going to continue to live my life, do my own thing and try not worry about his feelings. And the no contact rule is in place so that should make it that much easier to move on. Getting over an ex isn't like turning off a switch though, when you were in love. You do still care about hurting them. I wouldn't want to do that. Soon enough, I probably won't care.