[2hearts]

Maybe someone can help me out. But to make a long story short, I was involved with a guy I met online for a year. He lives in Jamaica and I live in Atlanta. We talked, text and skyped everyday and we had a lot of things in common. Eventually I fell in love with him and it got serious to the point I bought a plane ticket to go visit him. He even introduced me to his mom who lives in Florida and me and her would also talk every other day.

Summertime comes and my Jamaican prince charming started to disappear and I wouldn't hear from him in a couple of days. So I gave him some space and than he called me and was like he was going through some rough times and needed to be alone. I gave him space but when it turned into 2 weeks I got worried. So I called him and mind you this was around the time of my birthday and he said he was depressed and needed $50 because he got laid off from his work assignment and his mother didn't have it. I couldn't help him because I truly didn't have it and it was my birthday weekend. So I didn't hear from him again in a couple of weeks even though I tried to reach out to him.

He finally called me one early morning and told me he got a new job and he seemed to be in good spirits. I was supposed to go to Jamaica that following month but I explained to him there was a delay with my passport so I would have to reschedule. My trust for him started to get shaky because of all the unexplained disappearing acts. So he stopped speaking to me again, even though I tried reaching out to him again. I gave up and cried.

I go on his Facebook page and low and behold some girl from his past like she means a lot to him and she made mistakes in the past but what they have now is special. Just the thought of him lying hurts me to the core because he still wants me to come to Jamaica. He said she was a thing from the past and he sorry and really wants to make things up.

My question is what is going on? I want to go to Jamaica still, but my heart is confused and hurt. Please help

[talaniman]

You sure have a lot invested in this long distance, on line relationship, but have never had a chance to bond in person over a years time. I think you are FAR more serious, and committed, than he is! Most LDR' are difficult, and VERY hard to maintain. The younger the more difficult for you both.

If he felt the same as you, he wouldn't just disappear from you the way he has. You have made him a priority, while you are his option he can engage with whenever he feels like it. Why are you so emotionally available to one that can go and come to and from your life.

I would hope you see how unhealthy for you this has become.

[joypulv]

PLEASE don't go to to see him. He sounds like the song, 'If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.' His disappearances are to be with other women, so it's not surprising that an ex would be along too. His wish for $50 on your birthday is downright depressing - he has to ask you for money? It sounds like he gets jobs when he can and is totally broke the rest of the time.
LDRs that don't get together within 2 or 3 months never seem to pan out. You are living in an unreal world and need to get off the computer, at least as far as romance goes.

[2hearts]

Thx u for the advice and reality has set in and I feel great now. Its like dead weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I am looking frwd to a new year

Too me and my girls are going to go to jamaica instead

[smoothy]

Find and date someone local to you (thats what I think EVERYONE should do without exception)... anyone can pretend to be something they aren't online... and if they are local someone is bound to know them and who they really are (like not a convicted of a sex crime or abuse) and Jamaica can be a VERY dangerous place outside of the tourist destination compounds.

[talaniman]

Thx u for the advice and reality has set in and I feel great now. Its like dead weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I am looking frwd to a new year

Too me and my girls are going to go to jamaica instead

I hope that means you and your posse and not your KIDS are going to Jamaica, and I have no doubt you intend to confront this fellow.

[2hearts]

Hello... no me and my girlfriends, nvr my kids and I may end up going to Miami instead bcus my desire to go to jamaica is gone sad to say