[LittleBlackKat]

Hello everyone, long time no post.

I am pleased to say since my mini-"retirement" I have been growing closer to a friend I have known for 6 years. While we are not dating yet, because he insisted I finish school first and get a steady career on the way, we have both discussed our feelings for one another and it is obvious at this point that we are more than merely friends.

So far he has been absolutely wonderful with me. He respects me, my need to finish school (I am almost 23, by the way) and he never once pressured me for sex or anything of the sort. I feel very comfortable with this man.
However, he is 35 years old. This is NOT a problem for me, because I have done a lot of thinking even before I spoke to him regarding my feelings for him, and because of how I was raised, I never could connect with men my age. *You can even refer back to my older posts on this website and see for yourselves that any relationship I ever had in the past with men my age turned into nuclear failure because of the mistakes I made in selecting the wrong type of men for myself*

I discussed this with my parents, and my mother so far seems to be the only one who keeps bringing up the age issue. She keeps asking "Why can't he find someone his OWN age?" And I told her that he already did in the past, when he was 33 he dated a woman just shy of 30 years old, and it did not work out because she was hiding the fact that she was married from him.

I am not under the age of 18 where it would become a legal problem. I don't understand why she can't just be happy for me. I'm not proclaiming "Age is just a number" here, so please do not get me wrong. I just connect better with this man-have been for 6 years now-and he even insisted that he will not come in between my studies and he will back off if my parents do not approve of him.

I know talk is cheap, but for nearly 2 months now since we've grown closer, he has kept his word. He also makes me feel very happy, and it has been a long time since I have felt happiness without pressure coming forward.

Now, what should I do regarding my mother? Because most of her close friends have husbands with white hair, for goodness sakes, and she doesn't harp on those people. I understand that because I am her daughter, she will want the very best and stress-free relationship for my future, but in this day and age that is not always a realistic achievement.

Any comments or advice would be most appreciated,

Thank you

[talaniman]

Age is just a number true, and more than friends are just words. Neither mean anything without agreement and commitment, and personally, while your parents are right too be concerned, and may never understand, your path with this fellow is entirely your choice in my view, and just my opinion, your past relationship "disasters" had very little to do with age being nothing but a number, but with YOU, and the exes.

Glad you found some one you like, and hope it works out for you.

[LittleBlackKat]

Thank you, talaniman. I absolutely agree that at this point it should be my choice. I learned from my past. This man in my life does not have baggage in terms of problems with an ex, or a child. He himself has finished his education and works as a Lab Technician and a Medical/Clinical Researcher.

However, I DO still have my guard up. Life can always throw a curve-ball any time.

And I figure : Well when I have graduated and have my own career on the way and can support myself, why is this such a big issue for my parents>

[talaniman]

Because they have seen or feel that a relationship can distract from such things as a job and career and parents by nature worry about their children forever. I sure do, and my kids are nearly 40!!

One day when you have your own you will completely understand what your parents are going through.