[patti2403]

I met this girl 5 months ago. The moment I laid eyes on her I started liking her. We soon developed friendship. We started roaming around with her friend also on a regular basis. Then about 3 months ago I said I liked her. Although I got a mixed response from her. But our friendship intensified with passing days. I started spending 6-8 hours a day with her. I though all is going well and maybe we have fallen for each other. Then I came to know that she has been messaging this another guy this whole time. Finally about a month ago I confronted her and professed that I love her. She said that she a long time boyfriend from 3 years. But still our friendship was maintained. I also slept with her 2 nights but nothing happened . Finally about a week ago we kissed but were both drunk. After this incident she said that this is wrong. Since then I get different vibes from her in different days. Yesterday she was clearly flirting with another guy in front of me. Although I spent less attention towards her than to her friends during evening. Can you guide me as to what should I do? Clearly I love this girl and would like to win her back.. Any suggestion please?

[Cat1864]

If she claims to have a long term boyfriend, then you leave her alone. She isn't yours to 'win back' because she has never been more than a friend.

She needs to handle her relationship and her own issues. She should not be getting drunk and kissing you. She should not be leading you to think there could be more because she knows your feelings for her. She is very close (if she hasn't crossed the line) to cheating.

You need to walk away until you can accept that she is just a friend. You need to stop encouraging the belief that she has been 'yours'. You need to let the fantasies go and deal with reality. She apparently does not share the same depth of emotions as you do. If she did it would be highly inappropriate with her claim of being in a relationship. Be aware that how she treats her current boyfriend is how she would treat you if you did have a relationship with her. Do you really want someone can't/won't be firm and put distance between her and someone she isn't in a relationship with and who is claiming to love her?

There are many other females in the world. Allow yourself to see the other possibilities and to see this female as she truly is.

[talaniman]

You have sorely misread your chances at romance with her and she has put you in the friend only zone. You have missed these signals because of high false hope and being stuck on a female that is unavailable to you. You spend way, way too much time with her and need to separate from this unhealthy attachment ASAP!!

Do you work with her because 8 hours a day is an extreme amount of time to be around some one and NOT work with them. If you do, you need a life besides work.