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    Gracee1997's Avatar
    Gracee1997 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 20, 2013, 02:22 AM
    I'm dating this guy but I have feelings for another guy
    I've been dating this guy for almost a month now but I really like this other guy. Before my boyfriend and I started dating I had feelings for both guys but I didn't know which one I liked more, I now realise that my feelings are stronger for the other guy. Most people would say end the relationship before it continues and to go for the guy who you have stronger feelings for. However the problem is that they are both good friends and the guy I like just recently got into a relationship himself in the past couple of weeks but I know he liked me before he started dating her.. I don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt anyone but it's hurting me right now!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #2

    Dec 20, 2013, 05:01 AM
    If you do not share the same feelings as the gentleman you are currently dating, then break up with him. If you are going to be pining for a missed opportunity then it isn't fair to this person. He can't and shouldn't have to compete with your feelings for someone else.

    Take time to really think about what you want. Do you have stronger feelings for the other person or are you caught up in the 'grass is greener' syndrome? Essentially the one you don't have looks better than the one you do.

    If you leave him, do not make a play for the other person. He is in a relationship and is therefore off limits. Also, if he would leave her just because you are suddenly free then he isn't a very honorable or loyal person. There would be concern that if you could take him away from her then someone else could just as quickly take him away from you.

    If you stay with him, leave the other gentleman alone while you control your emotions. Put your energy into your relationship and not into wishing for what you don't have.

    Generally, it is my belief that if you have strong feelings for two people, you should walk away from both until you are positive where your heart lies. It can even mean finding someone new who embodies the qualities of both men that attract you.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 20, 2013, 11:02 AM
    You should leave your current boyfriend any way as you are lying to him.
    The other guy is with someone so he is off limits.
    I suggest the next time you like two guys, don't date either of them. It is not fair to either one.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 20, 2013, 11:12 AM
    Be honest with the guy you are with a don't string him along just to have someone. The other guys has someone and is off limits, so looks like the pain is inevitable, but being honest and free isn't a bad thing either.

    Liking two friends is a sticky position to be in and best avoided.

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