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zamora1989 · Dec 12, 2013, 06:44 AM

So I've recently started having sex and the guy I have sex and for some reason I don't get wet. I literally get dry. For example he'll finger me but then as he does I'll get dry. I like what he's doing and yeah its not great but it still feels good so why do I get dry. I don't get it.

Also I've only had sex twice and it's always been with this guy.

CravenMorhead · Dec 12, 2013, 07:57 AM

How old are you?

zamora1989 · Dec 12, 2013, 08:01 AM

Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

How old are you?

I'm 24 and I was a virgin before I had sex for the first time a few weeks ago.

talaniman · Dec 12, 2013, 03:01 PM

A lot of women dry up during sex, but lubricants are available to correct that problem. After you bring this up with your gynecologist just to avoid allergic reactions, and be sure it's not a medical issue.

zamora1989 · Dec 12, 2013, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

A lot of women dry up during sex, but lubricants are available to correct that problem. After you bring this up with your gynecologist just to avoid allergic reactions, and be sure it's not a medical issue.

So drying up can be due to an allergic reaction to something?

tickle · Dec 12, 2013, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by zamora1989

So drying up can be due to an allergic reaction to something?

No he doesn't mean that. He said check with your Gyno to make sure that drying up is not a medical issue or an allergy.

Many women have this problem.

CravenMorhead · Dec 12, 2013, 03:55 PM

Use personal lube.

As stated, it isn't unusual to be a little on the dry side. It means that you're probably not producing enough to begin with because you're not properly aroused. Using some Lube to begin with will help. Then as the sex progresses you will start producing more of your own.

Going to see your doctor, as was mentioned before, is good to ensure no other problems.

talaniman · Dec 12, 2013, 04:20 PM

Some woman can be allergic to the lubricant they use, depending on its ingredients. Men can also experience an allergy to a lubricant.

What kind of birth control do you use?

zamora1989 · Dec 12, 2013, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Some woman can be allergic to the lubricant they use, depending on its ingredients. Men can also experience an allergy to a lubricant.

What kind of birth control do you use?

All we've used is the condoms that he gets and I don't know what type they are. I was thinking of maybe using a different type of condom but I don't know how to bring it up since we only get together for sex, theirs no relationship.

talaniman · Dec 12, 2013, 04:35 PM

That does explain a lot. Using and being used just for sex is just sloppy exercise. Like dancing with an okay stranger. No real thrill. Okay next obvious question is why? And what if the condom breaks?

CravenMorhead · Dec 12, 2013, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by zamora1989

All we've used is the condoms that he gets and I don't know what type they are. I was thinking of maybe using a different type of condom but I don't know how to bring it up since we only get together for sex, theirs no relationship.

That makes things easier in my opinion. Just tell him to switch brands and pick up some lube. They're in the same place in the store more often then not.

I would also look into a secondary form of birthcontrol. Condoms work well, but what if it breaks? Do you want this person to be the father of your child? I would talk to your doctor about hormonal birthcontrol or another type.

zamora1989 · Dec 12, 2013, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

That does explain a lot. Using and being used just for sex is just sloppy exercise. Like dancing with an okay stranger. No real thrill. Okay next obvious question is why? And what if the condom breaks?

It's much easier this way for me then actually being in a relationship and if the condom breaks I have the day after pill.

Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

That makes things easier in my opinion. Just tell him to switch brands and pick up some lube. They're in the same place in the store more often then not.

I would also look into a secondary form of birthcontrol. Condoms work well, but what if it breaks? Do you want this person to be the father of your child? I would talk to your doctor about hormonal birthcontrol or another type.

I have the day after pill if the condom breaks. And yeah this arrangement is much easier for me. Do you think it would be weird if I took condoms for him to use next time.

tickle · Dec 12, 2013, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by zamora1989

I have the day after pill if the condom breaks. And yeah this arrangement is much easier for me. Do you think it would be weird if I took condoms for him to use next time.

No not strange, just do it

CravenMorhead · Dec 13, 2013, 08:14 AM

Originally Posted by zamora1989

I have the day after pill if the condom breaks. And yeah this arrangement is much easier for me. Do you think it would be weird if I took condoms for him to use next time.

Not weird at all. This is a Friends with Benefits arrangement. Being such a thing you need to make sure that there are mutually agreed upon rules for the both of you. For example:
1). Full disclosure of other partners. If he starts a relationship or and FWB, you need to know so you know what diseases he and you could be exposed to.
2). Full protection. No questions.
3)...

Make sure you both have an understanding of what is going on here. It will save hurt feels and potential health concerns later on. Love might be fleeting but Herpes is forever.

talaniman · Dec 15, 2013, 07:43 AM

Your friends with benefits has not yielded the emotional excitement that generates lubricity. Feels good, but no substitute for a real human bonding and connection. It's not sharing and caring, but an sex agreement. Its not building anything, but filling in a gap.

Not judging, but you have to recognize you have taken emotional risks out of the equation, that requires work and commitment, to personal service like an appointment at the hairdressers. Betting the hair dresser brings more excitement and pleasure than the service guy does.

smoothy · Dec 16, 2013, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by zamora1989

It's much easier this way for me then actually being in a relationship and if the condom breaks I have the day after pill.

I have the day after pill if the condom breaks. And yeah this arrangement is much easier for me. Do you think it would be weird if I took condoms for him to use next time.

You are aware the Morning after pill isn't 100% efective? All the more reason to get on other birthcontrol yourself as well as using condoms....I could name several women on this site that have gotten pregnant will on the Pill AND using condoms.....even without the condom breaking.

Just something to think about as sex is a high stakes game.