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Babybloo12 · Dec 8, 2013, 08:09 PM

Ok, I am well aware men watch porn. That is no secret and it does not bother me one bit. However, I was snooping through my boyfriend's email (horrible I know) and found emails he receives AND replies to through some sort of adult websites. Reason I looked at his email was because he unintentionally showed me a picture on his phone of him naked. A picture that was not meant for me to see. So it got me thinking and I was right. He emailed that picture to someone random from whatever website he is a member of. When I confronted him he said it was nothing. "It's harmless and I do it when I'm bored" he said. He said its like porn he just gets a little kick out of it. Now my question is, should I be concerned that he does this? Should a man that has been in a relationship for over 2 years still be doing that? I am confused and he made me feel like I was overreacting.

Wondergirl · Dec 8, 2013, 08:14 PM

If he were my boyfriend, he'd be history.

What if YOU were doing this sort of thing? How would he feel? Would he feel disrespected or would cheer you on?

Babybloo12 · Dec 8, 2013, 08:27 PM

I asked him those exact questions and he played that "it's not cheating so it wouldn't bother me" card. Which is complete bull! I'm sure a lot of guys do this, I'm just not sure when they stop.

Cat1864 · Dec 8, 2013, 08:47 PM

Cheating and boundaries of good behavior should be set by the couple. Different people have their own concepts of what is acceptable and what isn't. Personally, interacting with another person crosses the line for me. I accept flirting, but I do not accept sending pictures or chatting/sexting with other people especially if I don't know it is happening.

You need to sit down with him and set the boundaries of what is cheating and what isn't.

Try to stay calm but let him know what you think crosses the boundary of good behavior. Listen to what he has to say. Together find a compromise. If you can't and he insists that contacting (emailing pics, etc.) other people isn't cheating, then walk away if you think it does.

I also recommend that you do not snoop again. You already know it isn't good and it does invade his privacy. Another reason to stop is that it feeds your insecurities about what he is doing and questioning your own judgment/self. Either you trust yourself and him or you don't trust him and regain trust in yourself by letting him go.