[commitment]

So about 3 months ago I was dating a separated guy but his ex wife put me through hell because she was jealous. Then one day she even bashed me up with her new boyfriends mum, so then we had court and my lawyer didn't even show up so we decided to drop charges between us and leave what happened. Now suddenly she wants to be like a best buddy coming to my house etc etc, but I do find it hard to trust her and how to explain that to her, any suggestions please?

[joypulv]

You WERE dating her ex husband? No, you don't get friendly with her, and you don't explain why. You say 'sorry, this makes me too uncomfortable.'

[Brian12]

She's keeping her enemy's close... stay clear

[Jake2008]

The guy you were dating, may have been separated, but he was married.

It would have been his wife, and his mother in law, who beat you up.

So, for starters, dating a married man is never a good idea.

The three women decided to drop the charges in court, not because a lawyer didn't show up (it would have been remanded to another date), but because somehow, the three women decided not to waste the courts time, which was very nice of you. I'm being sarcastic. If you had a case, it should never have been dropped.

Now you're 'uncomfortable' with your boyfriends' wife wanting to be your friend. She has unfinished business with you. Are you still with her husband?

To point out the obvious, stay far away from her. Don't accept texts, email, phone calls, and don't open the door when she is there. By not proceeding with the criminal charges, you are leaving yourself in a position for her, to deal with you, or continue to deal with you.

She's setting you up.

[talaniman]

This is really between you and your boyfriend to set boundaries for the ex that works for you both. Does he have kids with her? Still talk to your boyfriend and get an agreement as to what's acceptable, or what's not.

Clear boundaries will lower the conflict level, and hopefully end this drama. I fail to see what she says to her NEW boyfriends mum would be your business or concerns any way. How did you find out?

Why have they not gotten divorced yet since they have started new relationships? That alone would be a big RED FLAG to be extra cautious with a fellow that's separated but not divorced. He is still married, and needs to handle his unfinished business. That's rather sloppy since his ex is causing problems, don't you think?

How long have you been dating and is this the same fellow from last year that you found had a wife? You KNOW this one does!!!

[joypulv]

I have a feeling that this isn't so much about keeping her enemies close (something I see as mainly a male trait) as it is about wanting to share complaints about the man they had in common - a typical female trait.