[Lena8760]

I have a question. But, I don't know where to start.
You see, I know this guy for almost 2 years now. He is 3 years older than me. We go to the same college. When I first meet him I was not attracted to him, I saw him more as a friend than anything else. He in that time was more relationship forward. Anyway we lost contact after a month of talking. I got into my first serious relationship and was even engaged. One year later, I called off the engagement and 2 months later I reconnected with Anthony (my friend that I am talking about). At first I didn't know what I wanted but as the days passed I gave him a chance. For a month we were talking. Yes, we would have sex and all that just the title of "bf and gf" was not there. Towards the end of the month he started to push away. Less talking, seeing each other and sex. It ended of course. I was heartbroken. I realized in that month that I had grown deep feelings for Anthony. But, I blamed my fear for pushing him away. I began to cling onto him, clinging something that I hate due to my ex. The way I acted with Anthony was completely different to how I acted with my ex. I was more affectionate and loving. Anyway, we stopped talking. His best friend and I start to talk and from my grief him and I had sex. I felt like an empty shell after it. He told me that if I ever told Anthony about all this that both him (the bestfriend) and I would completely lose him forever. We never again had sex after that. A month and a week pass since then and at school I hear that Anthony had said something that I didn't like. I go to confront him and ask him to get out of the cafeteria to talk. We walk to the parking lot and I drop the bomb. Lets just say that what I said became my one way ticket back into his life. He lost his friendship with his best friend and others too. I came clean and told him everything that his so called friends were saying about him , etc. Sadly, he lost trust in people.

It has now been another month and 2 weeks since then. Him and I are "kinda" talking again. He doesn't trust me but believes my words. My question is, is this all worth it? All that I'm doing to win him. Things are different than before. Both good and bad. We are more open to each other, say what is in our heads regardless if its good or bad, sex is 100x better than last time, when asked by friends about us he says that we are complicated (instead of last time he referred us as friends). But, he had been depressed due to what happened. He sees me but what I did is still in the back of his head. Half way through the month he slightly changed. He says he was recalculating things. That he is confused because he broke his number one rule: letting someone from the past come back. He gave me a second chance and he doesn't know why. Lately he has had this front with me. He will say he doesn't care and stuff. When out with friends he would text a mutual friend to check up on me to make sure I don't do anything shady. If he doesn't care then why does he act that way? Every time I want to give up something always happens the next day or two as a sign to not give up. I love this man and I know he needs his space, to think to himself. But, is it worth it? All I want for now is for him to forgive me, to get over this and then maybe I can think of a relationship. It's gotten to the point that now I am getting depressed.

[Homegirl 50]

Harsh Alert

I don't think you have a chance with this guy. He got back with you because you opened your mouth and told all kinds of things about his friends. That was pretty tacky on your part.
Once he gets over the craziness of leaving all his friend he will leave you again too. You are "in the meantime" sex. You were a sex buddy before and that is what you are now. He checks up on you because he knows you cannot be trusted.

[Oliver2011]

Yeah I agree with Homegirl. And honestly if you really cared about Anthony would you be sleeping with his best friend? What would you possibly have to gain telling Anthony you slept with his best friend? It almost sounds like you wanted to control the situation. When you give it up so easily it is difficult to create a meaningful relationship.