[Gokuson1]

I have a serious question I hope somebody might be able to help me with... I have a female best friend, who I have been into for years, and we have had a little bit of a sexual history as well. Recently, I was dating our mutual best friend for almost 2 years, but she broke up with me and is now hooking up with other men. However, it's been almost 3 months since we have been broken up, and me and the other best friend still chill and flirt, and clearly are both interested in each other, and both want something more out of it, but she keeps saying she can't do it because of the ex.. Does anybody have anything that might help me out here? I am really, really into this woman..

To be clear, yes I would love to hook up with her, but I don't just want it to be a hook-up.. I really am into her, and I want to try if possible, to move forward with her in a relationship.

[talaniman]

I don't know how old you are or your social setting, but crossing the boundaries between friends and romance is a hard challenge given she is friends with the ex. Its very easy to confuse those feelings, and misjudge the attraction and attachment.

I would suggest that you broaden your social circle and cool it while you explore other fun with other people. The danger of losing a friend to push for an opportunity for romance is great so take the hint because you were gently rejected even if you don't think so. Friends are gentle to not hurt your feelings, but persisting at this time changes everything.

How old are you both?

[Gokuson1]

We are both 23.. However, I left a few key points out of the original post.. I have known this girl, and have been best friends with her over 10 years, before either one of us knew the ex at all. Right when we met though we had a strange attachment towards each other and we would hook up on occasion.. At the time however I didn't know she had a boyfriend so I stopped hooking up with her because I was actually pretty good friends with the dude who still doesn't know to this day about me and her, so we played it safe for a few years and just kept to the flirting.. But I started dating the ex about 4 years ago, and almost a year into it, I caught her cheating, red-handed, and at this time, my best friend was also best friends with her and was for years and years.. And I called her over the next day to chill, and we hooked up.. and we actually hooked up for a few months on and off, after me and the same girl broke up.. I ended up dating somebody else, had a kid (Go figure), and after it didn't work with my baby mama, me and the ex ran into each other, and we dated for almost 2 years this time.. till I caught her cheating again.. Now me and the best friend chill more than we have in a long time, and I have her in my bed 2-3 times a week watching movies and/or drinking, just chilling, the two of us.. And we flirt constantly, it's a fact the connection still is, and always will be there between us.. But now she's saying she can't do anything, when in the past she didn't feel bad one bit.. Thing is, I know she would if I could just find the right words to say.. I just can't figure out how to approach her... I know it could happen #1, and #2 I am not doing this to get back at my ex, but I genuinely want to be with my best friend, and she keeps throwing hints at me like she wants it too saying things such as "you're so optimistic, I need a man like that." Or, "you work so hard, and you're such a good father, I wish I had a man like that.." just hinting at me to do something! I just can't pull the trigger.. Plus she's not really speaking to my ex anymore because she really is a ty person... But I really am starting to like her, a lot.. And when we both drink we both get really touchy with each other, really playful and close.. I just don't seem to have the game like I used to.. Any more help now? Lol...

[talaniman]

Playa, you keep playin' the same game with the same people, and really need to get out of that rut of alcohol induced hookin' up for casual fun. Try a new play ground playa. Different players different game.

All those females out there and you keep sticking to the same old, same old? Why are you even available for this drama?