[talaniman]

Marriage Quotes

- Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

- Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

- Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

- Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

- Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

- Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.

- Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.

- Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

- Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly





Painting Shows it All

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture.

"What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed.

"What painter?"

"The one that painted this picture 'Soldiers at Work'."

"Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!"

"That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"





New Haircut

Women's version:

Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Men's version:

Man2: Haircut?

Man1: Yeah.

[manimuth]

LOL. Love it!