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    amayah's Avatar
    amayah Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 20, 2013, 03:04 PM
    What do I do?
    I've been with my partener 4 years. He went to prison when I was 3 months pregnant, and got out when our daughter was 8 months. He cheated before he went to prison. I gave him a second chance and he's been out 6 months now. He's great with our daughter but only sees her once a week as he always wants to be with his friends, I always argue because I don't think he spends enough time with us. I love him and I keep telling myself to leave him but I just feel my life can't go on without him.

    I'm very confused.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 21, 2013, 07:48 AM
    What are his priorities. What are your priorities. What are your needs and wants, and what are his needs and wants.

    It seems from what you have said, that you are polar opposites. Particularly with a baby now in the picture.

    A baby, needs a father, and a mother. A couple who are committed to each other, and making plans and moving forward with a life together.

    I'm not too impressed with a man who has been absent in his new child's life for so long, only to pop in once a week. Babies are hard work, and raising one essentially alone, well, think about things not likely to change any time soon.

    Are you working, and do you have enough income to support a child? Is he working and providing income to the household? That is a basic necessity, and if you are not receiving anything from him, financially, or otherwise, then it is time to realize that 'love' isn't going to feed a baby, and provide a roof over your head.

    Try to think of providing a life for yourself and your baby. What do you think you need to do in order to accomplish that. More education? Help from your family while you accomplish your goal(s)? Put your future, and the future of your baby, first. Feelings of love and longing, as I've said, won't get you to reach independence, nor will it allow you to escape the 'need' you have to hang on to a man that doesn't sound like he's going anywhere.

    Have you thought about life without him?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Nov 21, 2013, 07:57 AM
    Given his actions, I wouldn't count on him being a reliable good guy, or father, and you should be focused on just what YOU need to do to be a good mother, and provider on your own.

    Sorry, but if you expect NOTHING from him, he can't hurt you even more. His words and actions just don't match so don't depend on him for happiness, or anything else.

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