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simsama · Nov 20, 2013, 02:01 PM

My boyfriend told me that we should break up or give us a little space between because he wants to focus on studying in college , and he told me that we should do this because if we are together he won't be thinking about how I feel, or what I am doing etc. What should I do? Is he really breaking up with me, or just wants space. We have been together 1 year, and 2 months. Please help me. I really don't know what to do! Should I agree with him or not?

Homegirl 50 · Nov 20, 2013, 02:05 PM

If he wants to break up, then you break up no matter what his reason may or may not be.
You tell him OK then you go "no contact" so he can focus on school and you can get on with your life. When someone says they want a break, give it to him/her

simsama · Nov 20, 2013, 02:08 PM

But he also said that he still loves me and he wants to come back with me after his studies

Homegirl 50 · Nov 20, 2013, 02:12 PM

So, he still wants a break. Give it to him and don't allow him to keep you on a string with "I love you" Live your life. How long will he be in school? Are you supposed to sit on your thumbs until then?

simsama · Nov 20, 2013, 02:14 PM

I don't know I will miss him...

talaniman · Nov 20, 2013, 02:16 PM

Give him what he asked for and leave him alone and have a great time without him. When he comes back, then you can decide if that's what you want or not.

Is what he asking fair too you? What does your own dignity, and self respect tell you to do? Take time to answer these questions for yourself, and you will know what you should do.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 20, 2013, 02:17 PM

I'm sure you will but as you get on with life, do things with friends and be busy with school yourself, it will get easier. You don't stay with someone who says they want a break. It's demeaning

simsama · Nov 20, 2013, 02:23 PM

But he said I can choose if I want to or not he asked me in a question way

OK I will try to think about this decision I'm not sure if I am ready thank s

Homegirl 50 · Nov 20, 2013, 02:30 PM

He told you what he thinks you should do. This is what he is thinking.
It's on his mind.

simsama · Nov 20, 2013, 02:32 PM

But I told him that we can kkep our relation and go on... I'm a lost human that is going to get their first broken heart

I don't know...

Homegirl 50 · Nov 20, 2013, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by simsama

But I told him that we can kkep our relation and go on... I'm a lost human that is going to get their first broken heart

So you are willing to just hang around while he is off to school in hopes that he will find his way back to you?
That is unfortunate that you don't think you deserve to have a life as well.

simsama · Nov 20, 2013, 02:45 PM

But its hard for me to just break up... why not just give both of us some space why... I'm really having a hard time with this... I don't want to break up

Homegirl 50 · Nov 20, 2013, 02:48 PM

Space and break up is the same thing. What does space mean to you?

simsama · Nov 20, 2013, 02:52 PM

Your still toghrther but allowing ech other to focus on some things

talaniman · Nov 20, 2013, 02:59 PM

Shouldn't you be expressing your feelings, opinions, and concerns to him? Communicating with each other is the only way to resolve things and clear the air. Why have you not presented this already?

Homegirl 50 · Nov 20, 2013, 03:03 PM

he told me that we should do this because if we are together he won't be thinking about how I feel, or what I am doing etc.
This is what h says, so are you going to be able to just let him do his thing while he's away and not wonder or worry about what he's doing? I would imagine not.
You are going to do what you want to do any way so what we say does not matter. You just don't want this guy to break up with you. I understand that but you will still be miserable knowing that he is doing what he wants with his space.

simsama · Nov 20, 2013, 03:03 PM

I don't want to be a bother to him

I know , that's what I am scared of