[sparklings89]

Hi, I'm very new to this site and well when I was 16-18 years old, I was sometimes mean to my now ex boyfriend. Sometimes I would yell at him, insult him or other times hit him during arguments; slap but at times punch him.

This was 8 years ago and I in the end I felt bad. I broke down with guilt and apologized esp since he never was mean to me. I guess I was young then. But I've wondered if during that time and even now, has it affected him? He says no and that it's forgiven but he did took his time to be in another relationship. Now we're just friends but I still feel bad at times.

I would like to see some replies please. I know and have heard that if a girl/woman is getting abused, she is affected and takes a while to get over it when getting out of the relationship but not sure how does a guy take this?

[mogrann]

Yes men can be affected by abuse. Maybe he has dealt with it and moved on. I would suggest you deal with your issues so that you can forgive yourself as well.

[sparklings89]

Thank you mogrann. I really feel like a terrible person for what I must have put him through and he never hurt me in return. He would always wait till I was calm again or sometimes bury his head in silence but wouldn't express hurt. But then afterward things were ok and he seem fine.

Another thing is I didn't even know this was really abuse at the time. A couple years ago when I told this to one of my friends, she told me it was abuse too, the same thing as abusive bfs do.

[mogrann]

You have admitted it which is the first step. Next would be to figure out healthy ways to handle your emotions and why you did what you did. Change would be the best gift you could give your friend. It will not be easy but growth as a person is usually hard work but worth it in the end.