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Scared_and_Confused · Apr 6, 2007, 08:12 PM

We're not married (yet) but I did not know where else to post. We are engaged :D Well my guy has been there for me through it all! He is sooo sweet, no matter how badly I screw up with things he's always there to make me smile. I just recently lost my job and he has gotten a second job, no matter how much I opposed to it! He makes enough to support us with his first job, but said he wanted to have another job so he can buy me nice things. He also bought us a house. I kept trying so hard to talk him out of it but he won't listen! Well now he is working two jobs (dont worry I will be getting a job soon). He will go above and beyond for me and I don't know how I got such a great man to be with me. I feel I do not deserve him. Now I want to find a way to show him how much I appreciate him and love him with all my heart. He is so hard to figure out what to do or get him. For Christmas, Valentines Day, and our anniversary, I ask him what he wants and says "just you". Which is sweet and all, but it doesn't help me figure out what to give him or do for him to show how much I love him?? I want to do something more than buy sexy lingerie or make him his favorite meal, I want to do something that will surprise him and show him how much I love him. Any suggestions?

Bluerose · Apr 6, 2007, 09:13 PM

You could ask him to sit down and talk to you. Sounds to me like a little more communication would solve a lot of things here. You'll learn more about each other, you will discover what he likes and doesn't like, and this will solve your gift dilemma. And, besides, sitting together and sharing a nice meal is one way of showing him that you want to spend time with him, and remember those three magic words - I love you. Just say it.

Scared_and_Confused · Apr 6, 2007, 09:24 PM

There is nothing to solve at all we have great communication, I just want to show him how much I appreciate him and how much he means to me you know? Thanks for posting!

Scared_and_Confused · Apr 6, 2007, 09:49 PM

He has everything he wants, Guys what do you like to get?? (besides sex, he already gets that :) )

LATINS01 · Apr 7, 2007, 04:00 PM

With men, they always tend to be modest especially if he is a hardworking type of guy. If you want to show him that you love him and show him how much you appreciate him then words and actions are the best remedy. Men tend to be visual and respond to physical appreciation. You can do this buy telling him the little things like if he throws out the trashes or does any little chore around the house a simple thank you with good eye contact will bring out the tender side of him. Hug him tightly when he least expects it, this will get his deep feeling intune with yours, and he will look at you differently. You will be able to see the thank you in his eyes even if he does not say anything.

Becca1025 · Apr 8, 2007, 06:59 PM

Thanks Latins01, I'll do that (sorry changed my username)

LATINS01 · Apr 9, 2007, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by Becca1025

Thanks Latins01, I'll do that (sorry changed my username)

Well I wish you the best of luck... And he is another suggestion, every now in then surprise him, with a little bit of sweet aggression. Men always do this with each other, they always pat each other the back, shake hands, playfight with one another. This is how us guys show affection towards one another.. for some reason in women we react differently... and it is hard to express our emotions and feelings... So surprise him and go up to him out of no where and hug him super tight and kiss him on the cheek. You don't have to say anything... just that action will get his immediate attention and fire his affectionate steam engine towards you... believe me sometimes it is the little things that will catch a mans attention to see that you appreciate him... Gifts aren't always the best way to show him that you love him, aren't there times when you think the same about you. Sometimes a little time and affections is best. Good luck

vlee · Apr 9, 2007, 10:04 AM

Becca, my husband is the same way, he works like a maniac even though he doesn't have to, he buys everything he can for me and our kids, and he swears he wants for nothing. I know that it is hard to shop for special occasions for a man like that. My husband got really big into tools and woodwork. He does a lot of the remodeling of our home himself. So I asked him to make a list of all the tools he would like to have. Then when there is a special occasion I find something on the list. But it's all the little things you do that will show him how much you love him. Like holding his hand while you're in the car, rubbing his back after a long day of work. Cozying up on the couch with some wine and his favorite movie. Spending time together and having fun is what it's all about.

suddenImpact · Apr 9, 2007, 12:38 PM

I couldn't agree more with vlee. I wouldn't say I really "work" that hard, but right now I have two jobs, and I'm working on starting my own business. I try to get my girlfriend anything and everything she wants and needs. She always tells me she feels bad because she feels like I do so much for her. On holidays she always says I'm hard to buy for because I have everything. To me, just having a day here and there where we can just spend it together with minimal interuptions... and be happy is the best gift there is. Usually once every few months, we'll get a hotel room with a jacuzzi for a night or a weekend, turn our phones off, and relax. Maybe you can try that. Even though we always get a room in town here, its great!

txcowgirl_shelby14 · Apr 9, 2007, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by Scared_and_Confused

We're not married (yet) but I did not know where else to post. We are engaged :D Well my guy has been there for me through it all! He is sooo sweet, no matter how badly I screw up with things he's always there to make me smile. I just recently lost my job and he has gotten a second job, no matter how much I opposed to it! He makes enough to support us with his first job, but said he wanted to have another job so he can buy me nice things. He also bought us a house. I kept trying so hard to talk him out of it but he wont listen! Well now he is working two jobs (dont worry I will be getting a job soon). He will go above and beyond for me and I dont know how I got such a great man to be with me. I feel I do not deserve him. Now I want to find a way to show him how much I appreciate him and love him with all my heart. He is so hard to figure out what to do or get him. For Christmas, Valentines Day, and our anniversary, I ask him what he wants and says "just you". Which is sweet and all, but it doesn't help me figure out what to give him or do for him to show how much I love him??? I wanna do something more than buy sexy lingerie or make him his favorite meal, I want to do something that will surprise him and show him how much I love him. Any suggestions??

Yeah I think that you should make him a nice dinner, or take him out, my boyfriend likes poetry, so that might be a good thing 2.

ordinaryguy · Apr 10, 2007, 05:19 AM

Originally Posted by Scared_and_Confused

I dont know how I got such a great man to be with me. I feel I do not deserve him.

This is a big red flag. You need to do whatever it takes to get beyond this feeling of inadequacy--counselling, therapy, or just good old-fashioned thinking. Getting beyond this feeling within yourself will do more for the health and vitality of your relationship than all of the presents you could ever buy him. Long term love has to be something that grows between equals, and if you are constantly feeling inferior it will poison the well that you both drink from. It may sound paradoxical, but the best gift you can give him is your own healthy self-esteem.

Becca1025 · Apr 10, 2007, 10:00 AM

Ordinaryguy no I did not mean literally. I don't feel "Omg I just dont deserve him, he's just too good for me" and rip my hair out about it. I seriously DO NOT feel like that. I just feel that he is a fantastic guy and that I am very lucky to have found him. I probably should not have worded it like I did. I probably should've put that I do not know where I found this amazing guy. I do not feel inferior to him. With him I just feel his love and his happiness all the time. How could I feel inferior to him, I wear the pants in this relationship! :D JK.

Becca1025 · Apr 10, 2007, 11:59 AM

Ordinaryguy, I'll try that. Thank you for your posts :)

NowWhat · Apr 10, 2007, 01:38 PM

You have to love hard working men. I have one. I know you want to make a grand gesture and I think that is great. But, if it is all right, can I suggest things you can do any time?
Try fixing his lunch for him to take with him. Leave a love note for him to find. You could leave him notes in the bathroom. I would leave just an "I love you" note on the toilet paper because I was sure he wouldn't miss it.
Make sure things look nice when he gets home from work. The house smells nice. Little, simple things like that make a huge difference.
Make a CD with his favorite music so he can listen to it on his way to work.
Little things go a long way.
And no matter what you do, do it with love - it will show through