[SaraL123]

SO. I have been with my boyfriends for 1.5 years. We live together and we share the same computer (MINE).

I found out that he was watching porn on it maybe 7-8 months ago. All with asian women. I told him I didn't want him to use my computer for watching porn since I felt really offended. He then asked me at one point if I could buy some asian clothes such as hello kitty socks and blablabla. He said it a bit like a joke, but still if I would have said Yes I am SURE he would have been happy.

Now however, I looked up the history on my computer again through my "family safety account" where I can see that he is still watching porn, at least two a week, sometimes more, with asian ladies. He is deleting it from the history but I could still see it. I asked him about it and he said no at first but in the end he did admit to it and he apologized and bla bla bla. There were all kinds, "horny asian milf s sons best friend" "teen asian girl anal" blablabla all with asian.

ANYWAY. I am one of those girls who don't ever watch porn, and honestly don't masturbate. I just don't have the need for it . I can understand that he has the need to do it, and even to watch porn, But it is the whole ASIAN thing that bothers me.

I am a tall big white woman, nothing like an asian AT ALL. Right now I feel like telling him to go find himself an asian girl since that is what gets him off anyway. He has even been on sites like "asian girls makes the best girlfriends.. blablabla" I mean, come on!

What should I do? Should I be worried? Should I break up? I honestly feel sooo disgusted and hurt.

Like I said, I don't watch porn so I don't know what is going through his head when choosing asian porn. But it tells me he obviously likes asian girls?

And I forgot to say , I HAVE asked him when I first found out if we should watch it together. We turned it on but he felt really awkward and didn't like it. And Me, well, I just felt disgusted and I felt like laughing. I won't even get into what I think about pornos but I think it is enough said that I don't watch them.

[talaniman]

He should have his own computer and you shouldn't snoop on it. Then maybe you won't compare his personal kink fantasy to YOURSELF.

Few understand the very private areas of a person, especially not partners who don't share it. That has always caused conflicts, that lack of understanding, and feeling threatened by it. But its your computer and obviously don't want to hare it for such things that he likes so he needs his own.

That only leaves you to deal with the KNOWLEDGE of what he does and likes, and the challenge is NOT to make it about YOU, but accept its about your partners PRIVATE kinks, which have NOTHING to do with the reality of a relationship. Deal with those fears and insecurities and you won't be threatened by his private kinks.

Just because he has kinks, and YOU don't doesn't make him wrong. All of us have to make adjustments that work for out relationship all the time, so decide what adjustments you are willing to make. For sure we have little control over our partners, so it becomes how well we work together to resolve our differences in an ever changing reality of life. As fact he probably will never understand what the big deal is, most guys don't, so think of the adjustments you must make for YOURSELF, knowing full well you have as little control over him as he has over YOU.

No doubt that today it's his porn, tomorrow another challenge will surface, and likely something will come up that he will NOT understand, or like, and here we go again. Right?

So, how will you deal with THIS challenge? Start with his own computer/device, and see where it goes. Logically since he doesn't have one of his own, he is a kid with a new toy, and you are the partner he chose over his kink fantasy. That's the reality I see.

[odinn7]

I LOVE Asian women...do I have one in real life? No. Would I trade my partner for one? No.

You worry too much.