[ForgetMeNot111]

I'll try to make this simpler than it is. I'm a freshman, as well as my best friend- We'll call her Alli. Our best guy friend is in 8th grade. We'll call him Joe. We go to junior high, so Alli and I will be leaving next year to go to the high school. She and Joe have been friends for 7 years, and have never had feelings for each other. I've been friends with Alli for almost 5 years, and Joe and I just got very close recently, but we've known each other for the same amount of time.

Recently we've all been hanging out a lot. And getting closer. I didn't have feelings about him until recently. But we started hugging when we would separate. He's always super nice, if I joke and say "everybody hates me" He'll reply with something like, "Oh I like you." In a jokey playful way. I haven't liked someone in a long time. And honestly I think I've been trying to hold back so I can avoid alli being a third wheel or uncomfortable.

Last night we hung out, and alli was grumpy the whole time. Very quiet. Here's where it gets complicated. The weekend before we were hanging out playing truth and dare. Laying on his bed. I know, it sounds terrible. But right before we had to go alli dared me to chew gum, blow a bubble, and have joe pop it with his teeth. Which to me kind of sounds like she was trying to hook us up. She also dared him to kiss me, which he chickened on. *We're both virgin lips* But last night after we left, I had a super serious and long conversation with Alli over text. Long story short, I finally got it out of her that "Honestly, i dont like it when we hang out all together. It makes me sick just thinking about it(Joe and I together). I just want things back the way they used to be" was a shortened version of her text.

I cried. So much. I told her I'd do anuthing to make her happy, and I'm going to try and push my feelings away. She later said she doesn't even care if we make out. Just as long as she doesn't know about it. I said I hated that I would need to hide it from her. I don't even think Joe likes me..

We all walked home together yesterday and all the sudden Jake put his arm around me and just walked. All the way home like that. I did feel bad, I thought we were leavkng alli out. I guess she was just hurt.

They confuse me. Later that day Joe said he liked a girl named Aubrey, who we don't know(I doubt he'd make that up but... ) and then a couple daya ago allisaid she could picture us getting married. I'm crying. Confused. And don't tell me I'm "to young to understand" or "you're only 14, don't worry about it."

[joypulv]

This sort of dilemma is unavoidable as you go through your teens. Good friends develop romantic feelings (in varying degrees) or just want to try a little romance on for size. Multiple friends get very touchy about who is extra friendly with whom, or one person decides they don't like someone in the group and tries to demand that others follow along. It's difficult enough to learn about relationships at any age, but super tough at your age. I don't know if any of us got through it without some pain.
My advice is to draw back from Joe a little in order to preserve the 3 way friendship. I'd tell him so too. Who knows if maybe he walked home with his arm around you because Allie was starting to show him that she suspected it, and he wanted to 'show her?' Who knows if he is interested in a real or mythical girl elsewhere? Maybe he does really like you, maybe not. Another reason to draw back is that next year you won't even be in the same school, and the difference will be huge.
Of course the really adult thing to do is talk to each person as calmly and directly as possible, and bring all this out in the open, and solve it without high emotion - but even most adults have a hard time doing that.
Good luck.

[ForgetMeNot111]

This sort of dilemma is unavoidable as you go through your teens. Good friends develop romantic feelings (in varying degrees) or just want to try a little romance on for size. Multiple friends get very touchy about who is extra friendly with whom, or one person decides they don't like someone in the group and tries to demand that others follow along. It's difficult enough to learn about relationships at any age, but super tough at your age. I don't know if any of us got through it without some pain.
My advice is to draw back from Joe a little in order to preserve the 3 way friendship. I'd tell him so too. Who knows if maybe he walked home with his arm around you because Allie was starting to show him that she suspected it, and he wanted to 'show her?' Who knows if he is interested in a real or mythical girl elsewhere? Maybe he does really like you, maybe not. Another reason to draw back is that next year you won't even be in the same school, and the difference will be huge.
Of course the really adult thing to do is talk to each person as calmly and directly as possible, and bring all this out in the open, and solve it without high emotion - but even most adults have a hard time doing that.
Good luck.

Thank you. I am trying to preserve our friendship as much as possible. He and I are going out tomorrow, and I plan on talking to him. Thanks again.(: