[hermione grangr]

My boyfriend lied about having a child when in fact he doesn't have one,the child he lied about is actually his boss's.. That's when we were in the first month of dating and he has not come clean yet but I pretend I don't know the truth.I found out through his Facebook wall when the boss shared a link to him and I saw the little girl in the boss's profile picture.why would one lie about that?

[nil869]

Maybe at the first he didn't consider the relationship with you that much serious or he thought if I tell her that I have a child she would feel pity for me, but if you continue pretending that you don't know anything, things will get worse... talk with him or he might confess what's wrong. :)
At the end everything will be fine

[joypulv]

He may have lied, or you may be mistaken. I can think of a few possible reasons the child shows in the boss's picture, and I can also think of a reason why he might be wanting to hide the truth.
But what is important (and puzzling) to me is that you are asking strangers online instead of him. A good relationship is based on open and honest communication. Why haven't you just asked him, without any deep dark suspicions or fears?

[hermione grangr]

Maybe at the first he didn't consider the relationship with you that much serious or he thought if I tell her that I have a child she would feel pity for me, but if you continue pretending that you don't know anything, things will get worse... talk with him or he might confess what's wrong. :)
At the end everything will be fine

My friends told me if I confess about knowing he'll think am a stalker.. why would he want me to pity him when that no the case?

He may have lied, or you may be mistaken. I can think of a few possible reasons the child shows in the boss's picture, and I can also think of a reason why he might be wanting to hide the truth.
But what is important (and puzzling) to me is that you are asking strangers online instead of him. A good relationship is based on open and honest communication. Why haven't you just asked him, without any deep dark suspicions or fears?

The child is his boss's.. that's no doubt at all! about asking online,eh,am just confused and afraid of knowing the truth or he'll probably leave me... and I know that's cowardly of me but I can't help it... just wanted some ideas why he could lie about something like that so when I approach him il be able to understand him

[nil869]

He can't hide this secret for long time!
You don't want to lose him it shows you really care about him and it's nice, but if you're afraid by confessing him you will lose him that's another story!

You have two ways

1.stop thinking about these stuffs, he might tell the truth to you sooner or later!

2.sit down and talk with him and explain the situation and your feelings with him, he has right to know what's going on in your mind.

[joypulv]

I can't imagine staying with someone while in fear of saying things or asking things.
People get left all the time, regardless. Now you are tiptoeing around the house, probably acting differently, partly suspicious, partly guilty. What's wrong with seeing his boss's Facebook page? I look at friends of friends and places of work of just about everyone on Facebook. Even people I'm not that close to. Talk to him!

[Oliver2011]

He's lying and you're pretending... Sounds as if this relationship is going to last a long, long time.

[hermione grangr]

He's lying and you're pretending... Sounds as if this relationship is going to last a long, long time.

You are being sarcastic now!lol

[Oliver2011]

You are being sarcastic now!lol

Actually realist would sum it up better.

Your pretending is actually lying as well. In the grand scheme of things him not telling you about the child probably was not that big of a deal. Just maybe he thought things with you wouldn't work out so what was the point of telling you his life story. But you are acting like this event is up there with the Kennedy Assassination. And you still don't have all the facts.

[hermione grangr]

Actually realist would sum it up better.

Your pretending is actually lying as well. In the grand scheme of things him not telling you about the child probably was not that big of a deal. Just maybe he thought things with you wouldn't work out so what was the point of telling you his life story. But you are acting like this event is up there with the Kennedy Assassination. And you still don't have all the facts.

Am not even from america so that kennedy assassination stuff doesn't even apply or matter so you are being sarcastic again! its all cool am easy!I get you don't understand, I earlier said that I know am doing the cowardly way of not asking.. just wanted few helpful opinions,not like it's a matter of life and death... and about him being serious with me you are wrong or I am... because the guy is serious we've dated for sme time and his clearly his into me...

[mmresd]

It seems as if you are assuming that it is also his child, why don't you ask him? I would see no reason for him to lie to whether he has a child, and if he does and was in fact lying to you, you are going to have to ask yourself if what you want is a lying boyfriend.

[talaniman]

Guys tell girls they have kids already to discourage you from getting pregnant. Then there is the baby mama jealousy, and any lie covers something they want to hide. Whatever it is. What exactly is dating for some time mean, days, weeks, months, years?

[hermione grangr]

4 months..thanks

[talaniman]

You are strangers just starting and already there are lies snooping and distrust? That ain't good. I highly suggest you come clean and air your concerns sooner rather than later. Not confront, but confess your own part of this and see if he also can confess his.

Assuming and presuming only leads to more mistrust and resentments that grow to make you both miserable.

[Oliver2011]

Agree!