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    Gizmo14's Avatar
    Gizmo14 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 28, 2013, 04:06 PM
    Dispute over amount that I owe my ex-boyfriend - help please?
    Hi,

    It's been nearly 8 months since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. We were together for 3 years. He lent me money towards the end of our relationship when I was struggling to pay my bills. I gave him £300 straight after we broke up and said I will pay him the rest at a later date when I have enough and that was agreed upon. At that time the total was £600 so I have already paid half of it thus I owe him £300. He has been contacting me recently as to when I will pay him back and I said 4 weeks and I will. However, the dispute lies because he now claims I owe him £500 making the total £800. As far as I know, it wasn't that and this new amount has recently come to light for me. I asked for a breakdown and he says he had it on his notes on his phone which he has lost. But as stated before, when we broke up it was £600, never £800. I do wish to pay him back so I can end this cleanly but this is another hurdle stopping me from doing so. I could just pay him the remaining £500 but I am still puzzled as to how this came about and he doesn't have anything to support that amount. It is also a lot of money added on which I don't have and feel I don't owe him because I never borrowed that much. I am really confused on what to say or do now. Any help would be great.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Oct 28, 2013, 04:40 PM
    Can you brainstorm with yourself and make a list of what you owe him for and how much each thing was? Ask him to do the same, and then compare lists.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #3

    Oct 28, 2013, 05:17 PM
    By doing this, as I see it, he is hanging on to the last vestiges of the relationship in his own way. He may not be aware of it though. Don't think you will get rid of him, until you pay the 500 pounds and be done with it and get a receipt for it!
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Oct 28, 2013, 05:19 PM
    I'm not sure I understand the logic of withholding 300? Just pay what you feel you owe - 300.
    If he wants another 200, he can itemize all 800.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #5

    Oct 28, 2013, 05:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I'm not sure I understand the logic of withholding 300? Just pay what you feel you owe - 300.
    If he wants another 200, he can itemize all 800.
    Where does it say she is withholding 300?
    Gizmo14's Avatar
    Gizmo14 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Oct 28, 2013, 05:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I'm not sure I understand the logic of withholding 300? Just pay what you feel you owe - 300.
    If he wants another 200, he can itemize all 800.
    Hi, I'm not withholding the money, I just haven't been able to pay it until now - in 4 weeks time.
    Gizmo14's Avatar
    Gizmo14 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 28, 2013, 05:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    By doing this, as I see it, he is hanging on to the last vestiges of the relationship in his own way. He may not be aware of it though. Don't think you will get rid of him, until you pay the 500 pounds and be done with it and get a receipt for it!
    I can see where you are coming from, but I don't feel I owe him 500, only the last 300 I was aware of. He's just bumped it up to 500 now which was never agreed!
    Gizmo14's Avatar
    Gizmo14 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Oct 28, 2013, 05:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I'm not sure I understand the logic of withholding 300? Just pay what you feel you owe - 300.
    If he wants another 200, he can itemize all 800.
    Thanks joypulv, that's what I intend on doing and tell him to itemise the rest.
    Gizmo14's Avatar
    Gizmo14 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Oct 28, 2013, 05:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Can you brainstorm with yourself and make a list of what you owe him for and how much each thing was? Ask him to do the same, and then compare lists.
    Hi I'll try to but I just remember the total clearly in my head.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #10

    Oct 28, 2013, 08:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmo14 View Post
    Hi I'll try to but I just remember the total clearly in my head.
    That's not good enough. You need to write down every amount he advanced you and every amount you paid him. Then compare.

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