[imck0729]

After a 13 year relationship with my married boyfriend, boyfriend files for a divorce from his wife of 30 plus years of marriage. Wife refuses to accept the divorce and involves family, grandkids, church to guilt boyfriend into stopping the divorce. The first divorce filing was cancelled after 6 months. (first divorce filed in the state of Arizona on 2/2012 and cancelled 9/2012). After moving back with wife, two months later boyfriend moves out and files for a divorce a second time. (second divorce filed in the state of Arizona 12/26/2012 and cancelled 9/30/13)
On the second divorce attempt, boyfriend and I decided it was best to move from Arizona to a different state until the final court date hearing scheduled October 22, 2013 due to the wife still refusing to accept the divorce and using family to guilt boyfriend and ousting him from seeing his grandchildren in order to stop the divorce. We mutually agreed to rent out my house and move to California to avoid wife's drama. On July 20, 2013 we leased out my home for a year and verbally agree to split expenses 50/50 with my brother for a $1500 monthly lease on a two bedroom located in Ontario CA. With move in date of August 6, 2013. We, (boyfriend and I) verbally agreed with my brother to accept the lease by paying half of the deposit and one month in advance. Since the apartment was not available until August 6, 2013 and the house was leased out on July 20, 2013 we were forced to find a storage unit in California until the apartment became available on August 6. We rented a U-Haul truck and a trailer and leased two storage units in California for a month. We had to pay movers in AZ to help us move out of the house and move house items into the U-Haul truck and small trailer. Once in CA, we paid movers in CA to unload the U-Haul truck and trailer into two storage units. On August 6, when the apt was available, we paid CA movers to move items from the two storage units into the 2 bedroom apt. We had to lease a car garage to store the remaining items that did not fit in the 2 bedroom apt. The approximate moving cost was $3,000.

On September 25, 2013, while visiting daughter in AZ, boyfriend informs me he is leaving me and has wife pick him up at my daughters house. He flies to CA the morning of the 25th and retrieve his items. He rents a Penske truck and drives back to AZ with all his belongings. (his belongings include a large antique piano, antique book shelves, antique baby high chair, leather futon, stand up electric saw, 3 bicycles, books and other miscellaneous garage items.) All this was done without my knowledge. He managed to sneak into the apt in CA while my brother was at work and I was in AZ to retrieve his items. He never gave notice or the opportunity to discuss the return of our items to AZ. I am stuck in CA with all my belongings in an apartment that I have to continue paying due to the verbal agreement we made to my brother. I am unable to return to my home in AZ until July 20, 2014 due to the one year lease agreement my boyfriend made with the tenants. I believe he should be held responsible for half of my expenses; (1) $1,500 - half of the moving expenses (2) $500 - half of the monthly apartment rent for a full year for a total of $7,500.

Can my ex boyfriend be held legally responsible for half of the moving cost to move from Arizona to California and half of "our" rent that we verbally agreed to with my brother? My ex-boyfriend filed for a divorce (second time) December 26, 2012 and filed to stop the divorce on September 25, 2013. Throughout this time we were legally sharing expenses and income and perhaps there are legal grounds to hold him responsible for 50% of our cost to move to California since it was a mutual agreement to move... please advise...

[Fr_Chuck]

I would hope the boyfriend is EX boyfriend, and I hope you do not take him back.

You can sue for any money that was agreed upon, the issue will be to prove he agreed. But you will have to sue in court.

Next please stop blaming the ex wife. in most real life, of course one side does not want the divorce, that is why lawyers are used. He appears to have no back bone and gives in for some reason.

[ScottGem]

The other party doesn't have to accept a divorce. If they refuse, the divorce can still be granted. So your boyfriend appears to have no backbone.

As Chuck said, you can sue, but whether you will win or not depends on how much you can prove his promises.

[joypulv]

This is a Small Claims case. It has nothing to do with who was married or not, and the verbal agreements are going to be hard to prove. All you can do is file for the fee of about $50. And even if you win, you still have to try to collect. There's no cut and dry law covering people who agree to share expenses verbally. Judges go either way.

My experience is that the defendant is sent a copy of the complaint and given the opportunity to pay, counterclaim, or ignore. At least in my state. Each state has their own process, fees, and amount limits.

He gives new meaning to WIMP etc etc. Even though I understand he wants to see his grandkids, he waffles with no regard for you. Good thing you own your home still, and good thing your rental is owned by family. Not a lot of consolation, but it could have been worse.