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    riceburner2013's Avatar
    riceburner2013 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 10, 2013, 10:23 AM
    Girlfriend wants to break up to be alone, but still wants to get back together.
    Hi, my girlfriend of 1 year just told me last night that she wants to break up but still see each other every weekend but doesn't want to be afraid of doing things (hanging out with guy friends etc.) I said okay but why do we have to "break up", why can't we say were together and just live apart (about 50 miles away) she said no it would be easier worrying about herself and not what I'm going to think, so I asked is there another guy and why would you need a bunch of guy friends. (back story I'm kind of the jealous type bit she knows and have been working on it) she says because I need time to fix my life and doesn't want to worry about me, I said well seeing each other and texting and calling won't help but she insists.

    The first 6 months were perfect, never fought never disagreed never talked to anyone else. But there has been one guy she talks to day and night for the last month and I try my hardest not to say anything but every time I would I would say "you have me to talk to why would you need another guy and she always responded the same, packed her stuff and wanted to leave and wouldn't even talk about it. She finally talks and says that I'm the first boyfriend that she can actually talk to and open up too (they've all been controlling, and wouldn't let her do anything one relationship was a Indian who beat her and told her if they ever broke up he would have his tribe kill her, the police finally intervened because a good guy friend of hers called him in. He is now a really good friend of mine, and I was never against her hanging out with guys accept when we first stayed dating.

    It's just I don't see the point in "breaking up" because she wants to spend time with guy friends and her family and get a job and not have to worry about rent (we lived with my brother for free) do I continue as if nothing is wrong or do I wait and see if she gets better, with her is be willing to do anything.

    Keep in mind she doesn't want to make it "Facebook official" or tell anyone else were broken up.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Oct 10, 2013, 03:16 PM
    I can only speak for myself, but if that's what she wants, give it to her. But I would never agree to keep our status a big secret, nor guarantee I would be free for her weekends. I sure wouldn't chase her and sit and wait for her to be in the mood to throw me crumbs.

    Sorry guy, I doubt you change her mind, so keep your own dignity, and self respect. Just not a very fair deal to be in limbo. I don't know what her deal is, but her rules are unacceptable to me. I disappear, and do my thing and if she wants me, she has to find me. And no BS!

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