[Mandy49]

My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in about 4 months. He tells me he feels bad and that he must have low testosterone or something. He's 34, I'm 26, and we've been together for 2 years.. He asked me to initiate in the mornings when testosterone would be at the highest, but the last two times I tried, nothing came of it.
The things is, I'm really shy about it and it's incredibly difficult for me to do. I'm not sure if he's rejecting my morning initiations or if he doesn't realize I'm doing it...
For example, late this morning (we both have the day off) I crawled across the bed and straddled him over the covers. He looked up and smiled - I kissed him a couple times. He asked me how I was feeling (I had a tooth pulled earlier this week), and, smiling, I told him fine. I asked how he was feeling and he said... sleepy.
I continued to kiss him and kissed his cheek and neck, but my heart was pounding and I was so nervous.
I just kind of stopped and slid to the side with my arms around him. He said he loved me and fell back asleep.
Do you think he knew I was trying to initiate sex but didn't want to do it - or just thought I was waking him up for s and giggles?
Keep in mind that I never wake him up like that, so he had to have had some kind of clue...
I know I should be bold and just go down on him, but it's so scary for me. If I'm rejected doing that - ouch.
I don't know what to do

[odinn7]

He knew... how could he not know?

So this is something that actually needs to be discussed and if he doesn't have a satisfactory answer, then he needs to see a doctor to make sure there is nothing wrong.

[Jake2008]

Absolutely right what odinn said. He needs to see a doctor. It is not natural for a 34 year old man not to have a sex drive; indeed, he seems to be clueless about it too.

If everything is otherwise fine, and you're sure he's not seeing someone on the side, or there might be a porn addiction or a drug problem, or anything else that could be contributing to his zero sex drive, I think it is important that you insist he see a Doctor.

Because he doesn't have a sex drive, he doesn't know what he's missing. There are many prescriptions and tests a general GP can do, and there are products on the market he can prescribe.

This isn't a problem only he can deal with, nor is it a problem you should have to wait around another 4 months to see if he comes around.. The two of you together need to figure this out, and don't be shy to say so.

[talaniman]

Why did you stop? At least reach under the covers, and explore and experiment. Shy with your own guy never works. If you initiate, don't half step and quit. Maybe do some research on exploring and experimenting to see what turns him on sleepy or NOT.

And what's been going on the last 4 months?

[Cat1864]

He is being unfair to you if he expects you to 'fix' his problem. How are you supposed to know when his libido is in an up-swing? Why should you be the one to initiate sex in the mornings when he knows he is sleepy and probably not going to be as responsive?

If he is having testosterone issues, he needs to see a doctor. You cannot fix a medical issue for him. The only thing you can do is be understanding and supportive of his getting help. Encourage him to see a doctor. Do not take full responsibility for trying to 'fix' the problem. If he isn't putting energy into getting help, then back off until he does.

[odinn7]

Cat said it all... it is not your problem to fix.

[CravenMorhead]

He is being unfair to you if he expects you to 'fix' his problem. How are you supposed to know when his libido is in an up-swing? Why should you be the one to initiate sex in the mornings when he knows he is sleepy and probably not going to be as responsive?

If he is having testosterone issues, he needs to see a doctor. You cannot fix a medical issue for him. The only thing you can do is be understanding and supportive of his getting help. Encourage him to see a doctor. Do not take full responsibility for trying to 'fix' the problem. If he isn't putting energy into getting help, then back off until he does.

What she said. I need to spread rep, but this.

[Fr_Chuck]

But if you can not just pounce on him and tell him that you want him to do ( and be explicated in what you want) there is a problem there also. Why straddle him over the covers, how about throwing covers off and jumping on or starting oral and go from there.