[Marshaness]

My brother wants gifts back that he gave my mother. She is now
Deceased.

[Curlyben]

Has he simply ASKED ?
He will have difficulty making a legal claim out of the return of gifts.

[ebaines]

Assuming for a moment that your mother left a will that specifies division of her assets to heirs, that your brother is one of those heirs, and that she left no specific instructions as to the disposition of the items your brother wants, the executor of the estate could work out an agreement with your brother and the other heirs that does indeed give him those things back as part of his inheritance. Of course the fair market value of the items that he gets should be included in the calculation of how to split things evenly between the heirs.

It is not unusal for someone who has given something of sentimental value to a parent to want it when the parent dies, as opposed to someone else getting it or having it sold off in an estate sale. It should be able to be worked out, but the executor has a duty to manage this equitably for all parties concerned, using current fair market value as best as can be determined.

[Marshaness]

No he hasn't "asked". He is just TAKING them from my fathers home. My father thinks there is nothing he can do about it.

[Marshaness]

Assuming for a moment that your mother left a will that specifies division of her assets to heirs, that your brother is one of those heirs, and that she left no specific instructions as to the disposition of the items your brother wants, the executor of the estate could work out an agreement with your brother and the other heirs that does indeed give him those things back as part of his inheritance. Of course the fair market value of the items that he gets should be included in the calculation of how to split things evenly between the heirs.

It is not unusal for someone who has given something of sentimental value to a parent to want it when the parent dies, as opposed to someone else getting it or having it sold off in an estate sale. It should be able to be worked out, but the executor has a duty to manage this equitably for all parties concerned, using current fair market value as best as can be determined.

My brother is taking everything and anything he has ever given my parents.
This includes a vehicle, prints, glassware, patio furniture, a four wheeler, etc.

He also just changed my Dad's $100,000 life insurance policy to make himself the sole beneficiary. (didn't talk this over with anyone... just had my dad sign it)

(He is also the insurance agent.)
He is the executor of the estate.
He has the Power of Attorney.
He is a bitter bitter Greedy person.

Do we need an attorney?
Any suggestions?

[ebaines]

As executor one of his duties is to make sure all interested parties (heirs) are notified of the provisions of your mother's will. And later, after the will is probated an assets distributed, he will have to ask for your signature agreeing that the estate was distributed correctly. Of course this assumes that your mother left a will (did she?) and that her spouse and all her children are named as names as heirs (are they?). If you feel that you need an attorney you can certainly get one, but I think the first step is for you to have a conversation with him as to how he will be administering the estate and let him know that you are watching and will require an accounting, including the items he has already removed.

Regarding the Power of Attorney that you mentioned - if it was a PoA signed by your mother that is no longer valid - it became obsolete upon her death. If it's with your father then he (your father) is trusting that your brother is operating in your father's best interest. If he's not, but rather using the PoA to take things from your father then you may want to consult an attorney.

[AK lawyer]

Is your father mentally competent? If so, it is his choice to change the beneficiary of his insurance policy. And, if your brother is taking his stuff, it would be up to him to report it to the police if it's being done against your father's will.

[Marshaness]

Yes, my father is 83 and of sound mind. He has a will and everything (after my dad passes) is to be distributed evenly among the three siblings. (no spouses included) The will is in my parents safe deposit box and the "executor" (my goofy brother) has the key.
He has now threatened to have the Police come after me for my mothers wedding rings. My father gave them to me. (so did my mother)
He filed a claim with the insurance company saying they have been stolen.
I believe he has a drug and alcohol problem and I need to make sure he is not
Getting away with anything!
Just seems to be a conflict of interest here.
But everything you say is sooo rational and certainly rings true. I just feel so helpless.You just don't know how vindictive and well versed he is on these matters. He is a financial planner and a bully. And extremely greedy.
Thank you very much for letting me vent and for your advice.
Marsha

[Alty]

Yes, my father is 83 and of sound mind. He has a will and everything (after my dad passes) is to be distributed evenly among the three siblings. (no spouses included) The will is in my parents safe deposit box and the "executor" (my goofy brother) has the key.
He has now threatened to have the Police come after me for my mothers wedding rings. My father gave them to me. (so did my mother)
He filed a claim with the insurance company saying they have been stolen.
I believe he has a drug and alcohol problem and I need to make sure he is not
getting away with anything!
Just seems to be a conflict of interest here.
But everything you say is sooo rational and certainly rings true. I just feel so helpless.You just don't know how vindictive and well versed he is on these matters. He is a financial planner and a bully. And extremely greedy.
Thank you very much for letting me vent and for your advice.
Marsha

I completely understand where you're coming from. Been there, done that, still going through it almost 8 years later.

There's very little you can do. I would talk to your dad about changing his will if your brother is also the executor of his will. It would be best to choose someone that isn't a family member, someone that can be fair when the time comes.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Like I said, I'm in the same boat, and after almost 8 years there's no resolution, and every legal avenue I've sought, has been a dead end. It seems there's nothing I can do to stop one persons greed.

Good luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

It sounds like what the brother is doing is illegal, he for one can not change life insurance unless he is the owner.

You and father need a good attorney and need to tell brother not to come into the hosue again at this point, until it is cleared in court

[ScottGem]

Check with the local District Attorney where you live. Many areas have laws about taking advantage of elders.

Has your mothers will be filed for probate?

If not, you can get an attorney and force probate and an accounting.

But if your father is of sound mind and signed the change of beneficiary form, there is nothing you can do about that.

[Marshaness]

I really appreciate everyone's feedback/advice.
I would have NEVER expected to be in a place like this!

I think what I am going to do is make it clear to my brother that
He is not remove any thing else from my fathers property. (but how
Can that be enforced?. oh well... )

I am going to ask my father to change the beneficiary again.
(two can play this game) and surprise, he will not be on it.

I also need to verify that he has not put my fathers real estate
(home and cabin) in his name.

And then I am going to focus on my own family. My husband was just
Diagnosed with cancer--four days ago.

Thanks everyone. Wish me luck.

[ScottGem]

I think what I am going to do is make it clear to my brother that
he is not remove any thing else from my fathers property. (but how
can that be enforced?.....oh well...)

You need to be more specific. Tell him to not remove anything especially anything that is part of your mother's estate. Tell him that he needs to file for probate on your mother's will and that you will force it if he doesn't. Tell him you will make sure the probate court demands a full accounting of her estate. Tell him that you will have him removed as executor if there is anything missing. That's how you enforce it.

Have your father change the beneficiary again AND revoke the Power of Attorney the brother has (assuming this is your father's POA, as previously noted your mother's POA is void).

You may need to hire an attorney to back you up on those things. If your brother knows you have one, that will put more power behind what you tell him.

[Marshaness]

I have been fishing just to hear what I wanted to hear ;-)
And what you have said seems to fit our situation the best.
We do need to ask my Dad to change the beneficiary AND revoke the POA.
I also have fears that he has put their home and cabin in his name.. . butI do not know how to get that verified. I know that he thinks he is smarter than us and I just want to
Let him know that two can play this game.
Thanks!

[Alty]

I have been fishing just to hear what I wanted to hear ;-)
And what you have said seems to fit our situation the best.
We do need to ask my Dad to change the beneficiary AND revoke the POA.
I also have fears that he has put their home and cabin in his name. . .butI do not know how to get that verified. I know that he thinks he is smarter than us and I just want to
let him know that two can play this game.
Thanks!

If you want to play this game I really would suggest hiring a lawyer. We waited to long, and now my SIL has $150,000 of our inheritance because we trusted her to do what her mother wished her to do.

Deal with it now, it will save you a lot of heartache when the time comes to deal with your dad's estate.

[ScottGem]

You can easily check the title for a property with the county recorder of deeds.

[Marshaness]

If you want to play this game I really would suggest hiring a lawyer. We waited to long, and now my SIL has $150,000 of our inheritance because we trusted her to do what her mother wished her to do.

Deal with it now, it will save you a lot of heartache when the time comes to deal with your dad's estate.

Great Advice!
Wow. I'm so sorry other people have had to go through this. Greed is a funny thing, eh?
My brother (the nasty one) always said "if you want to see the true character of someone....go thru a family death with them". Geez, he knew only too well.. .
He also always said a "gift is a gift". Apparently this doesn't apply to him.

Have a great evening!

[Marshaness]

You can easily check the title for a property with the county recorder of deeds.

This really helped! I am heading there this week! Thank you!

[joypulv]

I'm very sorry about your husband.

I'm a bit concerned about what exactly constitutes greed. You say your brother is taking everything and anything he has ever GIVEN your parents, including a vehicle, prints, glassware, patio furniture, a four wheeler, etc. That's a heck of a lot of expense, starting with the vehicle. Perhaps he has been giving them money all this time too, including for the house and cabin? We are hearing your side, and you even admit that you are fishing for what you want to hear. Not sure how we can know what to say. We still don't even know what her will says, and often a wife's will is a boilerplate that leaves everything to the husband if alive. Did your brother start taking things AFTER you were given the wedding rings?

Your dad is still alive, so I'm going to assume that she left everything to him, unless you can find proof otherwise. That makes this is just a family squabble. A mentally sound dad who perhaps goes with the flow a bit too easily, and you have to talk to him and the rest of the family and sort this out on your own.