Check out some similar questions!

Mozzie · Sep 26, 2013, 06:08 AM

I live in a big flat with my partner. We are both in our early twenties.

I have two kittens and they're sisters from different litters and both female. The oldest is 7 months old and the youngest 10 weeks old. We thought that we'd adopted the youngest at 8-9 weeks old but the vet told us she was only 6 weeks old (I know she should have been with her mother longer but we didn't know until we went to the vets). They are both very healthy (only checked them out at the vets recently) so health problems aren't the issue.

When we got our younger kitten, she was playful and happy even though the older kitten started hissing at her. Now, they're best friends! They cuddle each other to sleep, play together, purr at each other etc, but recently they have been acting very naughty despite me telling them 'No' firmly (method of discipline I use and it used to work).

They have become distant towards us, don't cuddle up to us anymore and the youngest kitten has started showing signs of very aggressive behaviour. If we walk past her she sometimes hisses and growls and has even tried attacking us before a few times (not play fighting). We have not ever hurt these cats or shout loudly in the house so I cannot see why they are starting to hate us (they're our best friend when they want something like food lol).

Also, although they are still the same with each other (playing etc) they have both become very timid. They both cower when we walk past them and have even started going to the bathroom wherever they want. For example; I came downstairs to the kitchen yesterday and the older kitten was peeing on the floor, then I saw the younger kitten run into the kitchen and pee in the same place as well! I have noticed the younger kitten copies the older kitten but I don't want either of them misbehaving!

They are both litter trained (they go 80% of the time and the litter is always clean) and the older kitten was very well trained and was hardly ever naughty before these last couple of months but now they drive us up the wall! It's like the older one has forgotten her training.

I do not know if this is relevant but the older kitten did have separation anxiety and when me and my partner were out (only a couple hours) she'd get very stressed, cry for ages and sometimes pee herself while waiting at the front door for us but all that has stopped since we got our little kitten.

I do know a bit about cats, but I'm very unsure why they are acting aggressive, timid, distant when they never used to be. Nothing is scaring them or has scared them, no changes in routine etc everything is the same as before when they seemed fine.

I just want my playful kitty's pestering us like before :/ now it's like they hate us! Just to make things clear though we have never hurt them or put them out of comfort, never shouted at them or done anything to scare/traumatise them etc, this looks like it has started for no reason that's why we're confused.

Sorry if this is so long I've tried to fit everything in :) thanks for everyone that answers I appreciate your help :)

Schnauzerluv1 · Sep 26, 2013, 01:12 PM

I have had this happen personally and it took me and my boyfriend some time to figure out why are kittens were acting that way. We finally hired someone to come in and check our cats health and behavior and she told us why they were acting this way.What we found out is that our cats were literally turning each other feral/wild. What they are doing is a pack behavior kind of thing where the little one is following around the big one and "mocking" the big one as a baby would do with its older siblings or mother in the wild. The chances are your older cat is bullying the baby kitten when you are not looking or paying attention hence making the baby aggressive and mean. Now since the baby is getting old it is starting to be able to fight back a little which is making older kitty act up and assert dominance thus peeing where ever it want, but what the older kitty is going is marking his territory then the kitten will come up and remark the territory which makes older kitty mad and the cycle starts all over again. I had to give my youngest kitten a new home because it got bad to where they were fight to the death right in front of us. I hope it doesn't get to that point for you and that you find a way to stop them from going feral/wild. My older kitty went back to normal in about a week after baby kitten left. If you want two kittens its best to get them at the same age from the same litter to stop this from happening again. Let me now if I can be any further of help.

LadySam · Sep 26, 2013, 04:19 PM

A couple of things come to mind, have you had the older cat checked for a urinary tract infection and is she spayed?
How many litter boxes do they have? One box per cat plus 1 extra is the general rule.
I think you should start by ruling out a medical issue first, I know they have recently been in for a check, but a urine check is not normally a part of a regular exam, so it would be a good idea to have that checked.
Are there other cats and animals around your house that they could be hearing, seeing, smelling? IF so this could make them anxious and want to act out.

Mozzie · Sep 27, 2013, 02:41 AM

Yes she's been checked for UTI and was clear. They've gone from affectionate well behaved loving cats to distant nasty cats that are misbehaving everyday within the space of a couple weeks. Yesterday, I walked into the bathroom and saw they had both gone to the toilet in the bathtub and had feces all over them both, so I had to wipe it off them with a damp cloth, which made them growl and hiss at me. I know cats hate water but it was just a damp cloth and there have been times before when I've had to wipe them and they've been fine.

I cannot get rid of my younger kitten because my older kitten had separation anxiety real bad and is so much better and more relaxed since we got the little kitten.

There are also no other animals around here that they could possible smell (we live on 1st/2nd floors) and no neighbours have animals.

Thanks for the answers :)

joypulv · Sep 27, 2013, 02:58 AM

I'm going to make a guess (I have one cat and am not an expert) based on the one unusual factor: your kitten arrived when too young. Possibly this meant that your older kitten took on the role of big sister/leader/mentor, and they developed a bond that excluded you.

Maybe with the right keywords (e.g. 'kitten too young with older kitten') in a search you can find cat chat groups with others who have had this situation.

I would close off as many rooms as you can, to constrain them to areas where they live the most, to cut down on the random use of the whole house as a litter box. My least used rooms are sometimes the bathroom for both my dog and cat in bad weather, even though they both are able to get out of the house.

Mozzie · Sep 27, 2013, 03:13 AM

This is what we thought, it's strange, sometimes in the evening when we're watching TV in the living room before bed, the older kitten comes for cuddles all the time and sometimes the little comes out of hiding for a stroke but most of the time she backs away from us when we slowly put our hand out to her and runs away. In the morning though, they are so timid and distant it's strange why they are like this (they don't sleep with us because my partner works everyday and they end up waking us up every hour of the night lol).

Do you think separating them every two days will work? Such as each kitten spends a day with us hopefully bonding, but they're not together for a whole day or will this stress them out? I really don't know what to do

joypulv · Sep 27, 2013, 03:54 AM

I don't think I'd separate them.. but can you block off the living room while you watch TV so that they have the opportunity to cuddle with you, or at least get used to your presence more? In other words, cut down on all the places they can hide together away from you, without forcing anything else.
I'd use random awards too, little pieces of chicken or other treats, for being friendly.
My cat gets only good quality kibble in her bowl (all she wants, but she's an active outdoor cat) and treats on occasion. Sometimes as a bribe, sometimes just for no reason.

Cat1864 · Sep 27, 2013, 05:29 AM

Has your older cat been spayed?

Other animals that could be affecting their behavior includes rats, raccoons, mice, squirrels, etc.

tickle · Sep 27, 2013, 07:17 AM

Originally Posted by Schnauzerluv1

I have had this happen personally and it took me and my boyfriend some time to figure out why are kittens were acting that way. We finally hired someone to come in and check our cats health and behavior and she told us why they were acting this way.What we found out is that our cats were literally turning eachother feral/wild. What they are doing is a pack behavior kind of thing where the little one is following around the big one and "mocking" the big one as a baby would do with its older siblings or mother in the wild. The chances are your older cat is bullying the baby kitten when you are not looking or paying attention hence making the baby aggressive and mean. Now since the baby is getting old it is starting to be able to fight back a little which is making older kitty act up and assert dominance thus peeing where ever it want, but what the older kitty is going is marking his territory then the kitten will come up and remark the territory which makes older kitty mad and the cycle starts all over again. I had to give my youngest kitten a new home because it got bad to where they were fight to the death right in front of us. I hope it doesnt get to that point for you and that you find a way to stop them from going feral/wild. My older kitty went back to normal in about a week after baby kitten left. If you want two kittens its best to get them at the same age from the same litter to stop this from happening again. let me now if i can be any further of help.

Felines absolutely DO NOT have a pack mentality, and no survival strategy as canines do because they are 'solitary survivors', sothat theory does not hold water.

You got that kitten too young plain and simple.

Joy's suggestion of limiting their activity to certain rooms is the best. You seem to be pretty savvy with cats.

I have had little ones like that over the years, with loving persistence, they have always come around to be sweet
Cats. Kittens hi through phases, testing the waters do to speak until they find their comfort level.

My cat Pickle was a barn cat, never been close and cuddly when I want her to be, but only on her terms.

Could be you are not her forever home.

tickle · Sep 27, 2013, 07:18 AM

Originally Posted by tickle

Felines absolutely DO NOT have a pack mentality, and no survival strategy as canines do because they are 'solitary survivors', sothat theory does not hold water.

You got that kitten too young plain and simple.

Joy's suggestion of limiting their activity to certain rooms is the best. You seem to be pretty savvy with cats.

I have had little ones like that over the years, with loving persistence, they have always come around to be sweet
cats. Kittens hi through phases, testing the waters do to speak until they find their comfort level.

My cat Pickle was a barn cat, never been close and cuddly when I want her to be, but only on her terms.

Could be you are not her forever home.

Sorry for typos, done on an iPad!

Mozzie · Sep 27, 2013, 08:23 AM

My older kitten is getting spayed in October so she hasn't been spayed yet. She does come for cuddles every now and again it's just the little one we're having trouble with she's aggressive and hisses when we go near her. When I fed them today the little one was near her food bowl and I was dishing out her food and she started hissing and growling with all her fur puffed out and she does that every time we go near her :( how can we bond with the little kitten she only seems to trust the older kitten and we've tried approaching her slowly and at her level but she still won't let us near her.

I know she was too young when we adopted her and that made me angry when I found out, so could be the problem because she treats my older kitten as a mother. I just want to bond with her and don't want her to be like this forever :(

joypulv · Sep 27, 2013, 10:08 AM

You've had the little one 4 weeks? Give her time. My kitten may not have been 8 weeks when I got her (very tiny, and a barn cat, who had lost most of her siblings to a fox). She was awful for a while. I tried to find a new home for her because she was clawing and biting both me and my dad, and he was in his 90s, and it was dangerous! Now I wouldn't give her up for anything. She isn't always affectionate, maybe only about twice a day, but all cats are opportunists. She learns quickly what I like and don't like. I think if you make some changes as suggested, you will see results in week or 10 days.

Mozzie · Sep 27, 2013, 01:23 PM

Yeah I'll give her time. I've noticed she's been creeping closer to us tonight when we had chicken but she ran away when I offered a tiny piece. She also peed on my jumper and my towel in another room too even though her litter tray is clean! She uses her litter tray a lot but since the older kitten peed in the kitchen she's becoming less litter trained and started peeing where she wants on my stuff :(

Thanks for the help anyway everyone :)

joypulv · Sep 27, 2013, 01:25 PM

So you still haven't closed doors to rooms you aren't in at the moment... oh well, I tried..

Mozzie · Oct 12, 2013, 02:11 PM

I have kept them in one room and things are improving such as my older kitten doesn't urinate anywhere except her litter tray now and the younger kitten has started using her litter tray too.

The problem is, my younger kitten is getting more aggressive by the day. She's even started to stress out my older kitten now and she attacks us if we go close to her or pick her up. She hisses and growls at everything and still doesn't come near us at all. She also comes for cuddles when we're in the living room and maybe once a week she'll pee on us! That doesn't bother me too much as it only takes me a couple minutes to clean up, but will she become an aggressive naughty cat as she gets older or will she calm down and be friendly to us?