[sydneytaterhead]

Why does everyone hate me! All I am ever is nice to everyone. I'm too nice. I'll do whatever even if I hate it. I hide my emotions so I don't hurt others. I don't swear, say, or do anything inappropriate. I compliment people on everything they've got and I try to be friends with people that no one seems to want. So why am I hated?

I sit in school all day and NOT A SINGLE PERSON TALKS TO ME! People spread rumors about me a talk behind my back. People will pretend to be my friend and then get secrets out of me or take something or copy or just try to make fun of me 24/7. People think I'm weird and stupid when I'm in pre ap. People take pictures of me and post them like when I was facetiming someone while eating an ice cream cone she screen shot me (took pictures of what was on the screen) and posted like 3 on instagram.

Now I have no friends because of all the stuff gone around about me. People grunt when I'm their partner. Others all together ignore me and talk to other people. I try to make friends. But it never works. Why does this happen to me? It happens to no one else in my grade and has been going on for 2 years but this year is unbearable. Why me? I have cried myself to sleep every night and have highly considered suicide. My own siblings hate me.

What is going on! How do I stop this! I hate it!

[Homegirl 50]

I doubt that everyone hates you.
You know when you do things for people even if you hate doing it or do everything people want, what you feel shows through, and it does not make people like you.
Be yourself. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. Stop trying to please people.
What is the problems with your siblings? How old are you?

[Jake2008]

There is strength in numbers, and people are sheep. One picks a target (you), and uses whatever they can to make themselves seem 'important' or 'cool' or whatever. It brings them attention, and the maturity level of people who admire what they do, has not yet reached a point where they would dare step outside the herd, and tell laugh at them for their immature behavior.

Eventually people grow up. Some never outgrow the need to degrade, and control others, and be the center of the universe. They are the ones who end up working very hard to impress very few people.

It will be you in the end with the qualities and characteristics you describe, that will have friends who have grown up, and no longer need the 'herd' mentality in order to fit in. They too will be independent, and learn that it is much harder to hate than to love, and much harder to bully, than it is to be a good friend and support their friends who are subject to negative behavior from others.

You may go a few years yet before you find such people, and make friends that will last longer than the weekend. I have personally always thought that the very best people have the personality characteristics you possess, and although it is tough now, it will not be down the road.

In the meanwhile, be less trusting of people who pretend to be your new best friend. Don't be afraid, when you are asked a personal question, to say 'why do you ask'. That will fluster somebody who is only after something to bring back to the herd.

Keep a diary. When you have these awful days, write your thoughts out. What happened, how it happened, what was done, who was involved, etc. Get all the ugly details of the day out. Then sign it- it will get better. Because it will. In a few years you will look back on the entries, and see that things did start to change, and you were happier, and had to try a lot less to gain a friend.

But the important thing is, your life will change, and those you trust enough to be in your life, will have to YOUR test, to be your friend. Things like honesty, will measure high on your scale I'm sure.

Ease up on yourself, and realize that nobody would ever want to go through this stage of life again. It is hard for all of us who have lived through it, and been the chosen one for negative behavior from others. But you will live through this, and have a bright and happy future.

It will just take time.

[Homegirl 50]

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jake2008 again
Dis regard what I said. Jake said it all and best.

[sydneytaterhead]

I am 13. My siblings are younger than me. They beat me up, call me horrible names, and tell their friends lies about me. I try to be nice to them but they still have a bad attitude with me.

[Homegirl 50]

Are they step siblings? What do your parents say about this behavior?

[Jake2008]

Sometimes parents find it easier to let their children settle their own disputes. When that happens, sometimes there is one child that doesn't cause a fuss or fight back, or speak up, and just takes it. That means the altercation, or physical abuse, or name calling, and gossiping doesn't involve them (the parents) directly, so they don't have to deal with it.

When that happens, it has to be stopped. Such an unbalanced level of parenting here (you being the victim, others being the bullies) and no consequences to those that are hurting you, is the worst form of abuse.

You can't stop it, you can't change them, you can't outsmart them, you can't get anyone to listen to you. You remain a victim, and victims get run down, depressed, fed up, and feeling like they are out of options.

You need the strength of a responsible adult, to help you find the confidence you need, in order that when you speak, you are taken seriously. That in turn will stop the abusive behavior, and hold those adults accountable for helping the abuse happen in the first place.

You don't have to be a victim. Speak to a trusted adult. Maybe one of your teachers, or a friends parents, or a grandmother, aunt, uncle, pastor, police- the kids help line, your family doctor- somebody who will listen. Print off your question and the replies that you have received, and speak about your circumstances, and how you are feeling, and ask for help.

If you don't speak up, nothing will change.

Please find the courage to really think here. Realize that how you are feeling, is absolutely 'normal' for someone under the circumstances you are in.

Please come and post again with how you have managed to get help.

[Homegirl 50]

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jake2008 again
Please take heed kid.

[talaniman]

Trust me dude, you may be surrounded by jerks right now trying to please their own crowd at your expense. Don't let them get to you, or kiss their butt to get them to like you. There is a time to be nice and a time to walk your own path ignoring the loud crowd.

As for your siblings it's the same thing and since you are the oldest, don't let the brats get away with punking you, don't hurt 'em, but don't let them beat you up.

This is where you toughen up and get a thicker skin, and the heck with those who prove to be unfriendly, or bullies. Who needs friends like that anyway?

[Homegirl 50]

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again

[samieet]

From reading this.. I think you're a nice girl.. if you were at my school you would've been popular... those people are just immature kids... you'll find people better than them eventually.. do not ever consider suicide because why should you give up your life for someone as worthless as them! I fight a lot with my siblings and I hate them.. but then I thought of myself as the better person and ignored them... don't lower yourself to people who teases you or bully you.. be the bigger person.. if it helps you.. move school and start fresh I'm sure you'll have lots of friends because I think you're someone I'd get along with if I met you. :) cheer up :) nothings bad forever... things will get better.

[sydneytaterhead]

I'll fill you in on some things. One of the girls in my "clique" has recently been VERY rude to me. She ignores me, calls me names, talks smack about me to others, copies me, and spreads my secretes all throughout the school. She has recently gotten my only other friends to be on "her side" and now they never talk or hang out with me anymore. We talk sometimes (mostly when I start the conversation) like in the hallways or on the bus, but have recently been kind of sour with me lately.
So the real problem is this. Every grading period (9 weeks) at my school we change our seats at the lunch tables. So first day of the new grading period, everyone rushes to get a seat with their friends, then the seat becomes permanate for the next 9 weeks. I currently sit with my "friends" but there is only 5 days left of the grading period. I have heard them talk about getting a booth (only 4 people are allowed to sit there together) and recently they have somewhat replaced me with another girl. I'm afraid they are going to ditch me. What will I do? I rarely no anyone else! I know you might think this isn't a big deal and that its such a stupid thing. I'm in middle school for Pete's sake. But, it seems to be for me. If you don't get a seat, you either end up being put at a random table, a (sometimes) lunch detention table, or I have seen people end up eating in the guidance office because they had nowhere to go and no one wanted them. What should I do? I have been thinking about it and I really don't know. Even if they get a big enough table for me to sit with them, is it worth it? Please help me, and quickly. Thank you for your help

Thank you all for your help. I have tried my best to get over all of them an focus on me. I decided that we go to school to learn, not socialise. So even though people are still kind of like that to me, in my mind I remember that, but do something to prove them wrong like if someone says I'm stupid I will study for a test and get the highest grade in the class. It really motivates me and I will never forget anything you all have said to me. Thank you for lifting my spirits.

[talaniman]

What a perfect opportunity to make new friends, and be around different people. Hope you relax and enjoy it.