What next?

jrm1025 · Apr 4, 2007, 07:23 PM

Hello,

I met a girl in my real estate class and the way we met was very ironic. I enrolled in the class during the summer of 2006 and studied a lot and knew the real estate information for the test very well. Well, I failed the exam and signed up for the class again in October. I had to drop out because of a death in my family. Yet, I enrolled once again in November and met the most incredible girl. Just like me, she had taken the test earlier in the year and failed the test and she also knew the information very well. I think it was awsome how we met. We went on our first date on November 17 and since have become very close. We dated, but were not exclusively boyfriend/girlfriend, but she was very into me and I felt and still do feel the same about her. I met her parents and they liked me a lot and her friends did to, and my parents like her a lot as well. We talked on the phone 1 or 2 times a day and we would hang out on weekends. She loved kissing me and was very very affectionate toward me. Well, she dated a guy in college and he was very very controlling, very mean to her, he would try to change her, she loves country music and he tore up her CD's etc... you get the drift. He was horrible to her. She broke up with him in October. About 3 weeks ago she told me that she needed space and that we needed to just be friends. She said that this guy took so much from her and emotionally abused her and she needed to find herself again and be with her friends. She was crying when she told me this because I was such a wonderful guy and treated her so well and was just so great. Since, we have had lunch together 1 time and talked on the phone(she called me once and texted me several times and I called her the other night just to see how she was doing and asked her if she wanted to have lunch or dinner sometime soon and she said that was OK. I don't call her all the time, and I have respected her wishes to have space. My question is do I have a chance with her in the future. Also, if I want to be with her, what should and shouldn't I do. I happened to see her today out and we talked and she said that she misses seeing me. This girl is so special to me and I am very much in love with her and want to wait for her.

Thank you

Clough · Apr 5, 2007, 02:06 AM

Sounds like she will see you and be with you again. Just that she needs some time to herself right now. Keep in touch with some cards or letters. Shows some sincere effort on your part when you do those kinds of things. Takes more effort to do those kinds of things than by doing them electronically. They would be appreciated by her. Please don't be in a rush. Wait. But, some contact in writing could keep things going as far as the relationship is concerned.

Krs · Apr 5, 2007, 02:14 AM

Give her space but be there for her when you can, in a subtle manner due to her past experience with her ex.
From what I read she seems genuinely interested in you but unfortunately her ex did something to her emotionally and she needs to time to find herself.
Give it time
Good luck

jrm1025 · Apr 5, 2007, 04:31 AM

Thank you for your insight. The only thing that worries me is when we had lunch she said that I had to let her go and if things were meant to be they would be. Is it a bad thing if she doesn't call often?

Krs · Apr 5, 2007, 04:34 AM

How u expressed how u feel towards her?

talaniman · Apr 5, 2007, 04:43 AM

She is healing from a bad relationship and that takes time so don't expect her to be calling you all the time and don't do it to her either. Any undue pressure from you will push her away. Go slow, very slow and let her heal, while you keep living and enjoying the life you have. For sure she does not want a relationship now and maybe not for quite awhile so no do not put your life on hold, or have high expectations about her.

jrm1025 · Apr 6, 2007, 05:14 PM

I think we are going out next week for lunch or dinner. Any suggestions? I plan to keep it causual, talk about anything but her decisions about wanting space.

talaniman · Apr 9, 2007, 06:12 AM

Thank you for your response to my question about the girl I'm dating. We haven't talked since Wednesday and I sent her a text message yesterday to say happy easter and she didn't respond. Do you have any suggestions?

Back off and give her space and let her call you.

jrm1025 · Apr 11, 2007, 03:08 PM

She texted me today to see how I was doing and my text messages weren't going through so I called her. She said that she has been super busy and is still trying to figure everything out. She also said that she would call me again soon. I guess that's kind of good news. What do you think