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mjann · Sep 12, 2013, 01:24 PM

My child is 14 months old she has only seen the father a handful of times... he has not fed, changed a diaper, bathed... he kniws nothing of her care or routine. His parents are pushing him to establish visits... he doesn't want to go to court but wants visits a couple hours each Sunday with his parents... I do it to keep the peace... my baby screams and cries and hokds on to my neck while I attempt to hand her over or put her in their carseat... its killing me... I don't care about any child support I don't want him to to have no more time with her than I am giving now... what can I do to get him to sign over his rights

ScottGem · Sep 12, 2013, 01:42 PM

what can I do to get him to sign over his rights

Get married and have your new husband adopt. There is this myth that a parent can just sign over their rights. But its only a myth. Only a court can terminate parental rights and courts are very reluctant to do so. I see no reason why a court would terminate his rights except to clear the way for an adoption. And, even then, if he refuses to agree, its unlikely the adoption would go through.

What I'm wondering is why a 14 month old is raising such a fuss. Unless the grandparents mistreat her, that would be unusual behavior at that age.

Wondergirl · Sep 12, 2013, 01:47 PM

I too am wondering why this child is raising such a fuss. I do know that babies go through "Mommy only" phases. Even my sons' father who lovingly diapered and fed them since birth wasn't good enough during those times. This may be one of those phases for your child.

Are you so against him that you are not willing to (gently) show him how to diaper and feed his child? Maybe now he is willing to give it a try.

mjann · Sep 12, 2013, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Get married and have your new husband adopt. There is this myth that a parent can just sign over their rights. But its only a myth. Only a court can terminate parental rights and courts are very reluctant to do so. I see no reason why a court would terminate his rights except to clear the way for an adoption. And, even then, if he refuses to agree, its unlikely the adoption would go through.

What I'm wondering is why a 14 month old is raising such a fuss. Unless the grandparents mistreat her, that would be unusual behavior at that age.

I have no prospects of marriage at this time... enjoying motherhood. I believe she does this because out of the estimated four hundred and sixty something days she has been on this earth ahe may have laid eyes on them 30 times and remember most of those she so tiny she doesn't even recall it.

Wondergirl · Sep 12, 2013, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by mjann

she so tiny she doesnt even recall it.

So why is she making such a fuss?

mjann · Sep 12, 2013, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I too am wondering why this child is raising such a fuss. I do know that babies go through "Mommy only" phases. Even my sons' father who lovingly diapered and fed them since birth wasn't good enough during those times. This may be one of those phases for your child.

Are you so against him that you are not willing to (gently) show him how to diaper and feed his child? Maybe now he is willing to give it a try.

He has no interest thata what his mommy there for.He just recently started to Auburn University he will be gone for three to four years for his education... he plans to drive three hours one way to visit on sundays or if he can't he says his mom can use his visit... really what's the point... my baby doesn't know him and especially in four yeats what kind of relationahip can one expect to have.

mjann · Sep 12, 2013, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So why is she making such a fuss?

She doesn't know them... they are strangers

Wondergirl · Sep 12, 2013, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by mjann

He has no interest thata what his mommy there for.He just recently started to Auburn University he will be gone for three to four years for his education...he plans to drive three hours one way to visit on sundays or if he can't he says his mom can use his visit......really whats the point....my baby doesnt know him and especially in four yeats what kind of relationahip can one expect to have.

Aren't these the baby's grandparents? Why deprive them of the joy of this child? (and the child's getting to know them?) If Daddy can be there at least on Sundays, that's even better.

ScottGem · Sep 12, 2013, 01:56 PM

I've been around enough babies to know that this is not normal behavior. I've been handed children in that range who have never seen me and they happily were held in my arms.

Frankly I think some of your attitude towards him is rubbing off.

Wondergirl · Sep 12, 2013, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by mjann

She doesnt know them....they are strangers

Then change that. They are her grandparents.

mjann · Sep 12, 2013, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Then change that. They are her grandparents.

my initial question I want assistants with is how do I get him to sign over his rights... he doea not want to be a father... his parents want him to there is a big difference... she feels his resentment towards her... his parents have expectations he doesn't... to say at least sundays is something... no its not either someone wants to be a parent and or they don't...

Wondergirl · Sep 12, 2013, 02:10 PM

Originally Posted by mjann

she feels his resentment towards her...his parents have expectations

She feels his resentment -- or YOU do? Like Scott mentioned, I think you are creating bad feelings in your daughter who is much too young to "feel resentment."

So why not allow your daughter's grandparents to have a day with their grandchild? If Daddy shows up, that's good.

ScottGem · Sep 12, 2013, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by mjann

my initial question I want assistants with is how do I get him to sign over his rights....he doea not want to be a father....his parents want him to there is a big difference...she feels his resentment towards her...his parents have expectations he doesnt...to say at least sundays is something....no its not either someone wants to be a parent and or they dont...

And your initial question was answered. He can't just sign over his rights. It ain't going to happen.

Depending on where you live, the grandparents may have rights and may be able to force visitation on their own. Even of the father doesn't want to be a father, his parents want to be grandparents. So why, for your daughter's sake, won't you let them. It would (normally) be good for your daughter to have grandparents. Plus, when they have your daughter it gives you a break.

I know this isn't what you asked, but this site is different from other sites. We try to provide solutions beyond the specific question asked. So when you tell us that a 14 month old is screaming when turned over to her grandparents, that raises red flags for us. And since there is almost nothing you can do about allowing the grandparents time with her, we try to address that situation.

Lets try to get further to the bottom of this. How long has this been going on? How many Sunday visits have they had? Has she screamed each time?