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kaydavisyoung · Sep 5, 2013, 06:25 PM

I left my husband three months after our son was born, then our son was with me most of the time, then my mother took him for around 3 months, then I had him for around 3 months (with his dad visiting him every weekend) and then I moved to Georgia for 6 months... and came back to Arizona to re-group and move back more prepared. I allowed my husband to have our son for 6 months (which is what he missed out on when I was in GA) and then I was ready to move back to GA, so I left to get stable with the intention and understanding that I would be bringing my son out for a few months at a time as a (50/50) type of arrangement between Az and GA.. . It took me about 3 months and I was ready to bring him back... Then all of a sudden his dad wants to tell me I have to wait until we go to court because he doesn't want me to leave the state with our son (even though this was the plan the whole time)... So now I am stuck trying to figure out how I can file for divorce from Georgia (since Arizona has jurisdiction based on my son living there for 6 months+) and I am finding out that I have no idea what to do and that there are so many different things that could be right or wrong and so many different filing fees. I can't afford the filing fees along with a lawyer to help me... I am freaking out... I went to visit for a weekend a couple weeks ago and my husband had completely moved, he doesn't have a phone to contact him, his girlfriend doesn't answer my calls and he doesn't even respond to emails... He is keeping my son from me, the law enforcement wouldn't help me when I was in AZ because there is no divorce filed... What should I do?

smoothy · Sep 5, 2013, 07:08 PM

In the absence of a custody order issued by the court.. he's got exactly the same rights to have the child as you do... he IS the father.

You need to find the money to hire a lawyer... because he's likely to have one. Which means if he does, and you don't guess who's more likely to win.

kaydavisyoung · Sep 5, 2013, 07:12 PM

Right except that he's denying me my right to even see my own son. I AM his mother I guess that doesn't mean anything though right... smh

Fr_Chuck · Sep 5, 2013, 07:58 PM

He may keep you from the child at this point, esp if he believes you may try to leave the state with the child.

I am not sure why, after 3 months of giving birth, you decided to move here, then move back, them move away again. This may appear to the court as a very unstable life style.
Also moving out of state without the child, may look bad toward the court.

All child custody must be done in the state where the father and son live. A 50/50 split is common but normally the parents have to live close, also, a 50/50 split can only work a few years, since once the child starts school, unless you live close, a 50/50 will not happen.

Time for an attorney in Ariz

ScottGem · Sep 6, 2013, 05:00 AM

While he doesn't have the right to keep your son from you, the fear that you may take him with you, will probably count for something.

But the bottom line here is you need to go to court. Do you know if he has filed for custody or not? Is there a pending court case? He might have gotten permission from the court to not contact you except through the court. So before we can advise further we need to know if any court action has been filed.

kaydavisyoung · Sep 6, 2013, 05:06 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

While he doesn't have the right to keep your son from you, the fear that you may take him with you, will probably count for something.

But the bottom line here is you need to go to court. Do you know if he has filed for custody or not? Is there a pending court case? he might have gotten permission from the court to not contact you except through the court. So before we can advise further we need to know if any court action has been filed.

No he has not filed anything because he doesn't wasn't to pay for it
... I had a rough time when I left him and went through a lot hence the moving around.I didn't want to struggle with my son while getting stable out here so I didn't take him at first. Now I am stable and I have shown maturity since everything had happened... I don't think he has a lawyer if he hasn't even filed yet.I don't think he has the money for it

smoothy · Sep 6, 2013, 05:18 AM

Well... until one of you coughs up the money for a lawyer... then everything can continue the way it is now... because until the court rules otherwise... he isn't doing anything wrong.

kaydavisyoung · Sep 6, 2013, 05:20 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Well...until one of you coughs up the money for a lawyer.....then everything can continue the way it is now....because until the court rules otherwise....he isn't doing anything wrong.

so when I go to court will it look bad that he kept my son from having any communication with me or will they not care?

N0help4u · Sep 6, 2013, 05:24 AM

When I first read this I thought the same as Fr chuck about the court seeing you as unstable plus your going long periods without seeing him. You are going to have to have yourself well settled and have documented all attempts to see your son.

ScottGem · Sep 6, 2013, 05:26 AM

Originally Posted by kaydavisyoung

so when i go to court will it look bad that he kept my son from having any communication with me or will they not care?

Yes, but how much weight they will put on it is a question. Your going back and forth doesn't look good for you and it could justify, to some extent, his actions.

But the bottom line is, absent a court order giving you custody, you can do nothing to compel him to let you see the child. Therefore you have to file and file in AZ.

kaydavisyoung · Sep 6, 2013, 05:31 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Yes, but how much weight they will put on it is a question. Your going back and forth doesn't look good for you and it could justify, to some extent, his actions.

But the bottom line is, absent a court order giving you custody, you can do nothing to compel him to let you see the child. Therefore you have to file and file in AZ.

Yes I have been trying to figure out this process because the forms I have say that I jabber you've in az to file for divorce there... I'm trying to find the right paperwork

kaydavisyoung · Sep 6, 2013, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

When I first read this I thought the same as Fr chuck about the court seeing you as unstable plus your going long periods of time without seeing him. You are going to have to have your self well settled and have documented all attempts to see your son.

Yes I have documentation of consistent employment since I have been here And working on getting proof of me trying to contact him without luck... After I left him I want very stable I actually ended up in an abusive relationship where the man almost killed me.he is in prison for what he did too me but for a while after I was going through a lot mentally which I have recovered from now... I admit I wasn't in the best of shape to have my son but I have done a180 and am back to myself now