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lisajade · Sep 1, 2013, 06:08 PM

My daughter is 16 years old. She has ADHD. My ex-husband and I adopted her at 8 months. She was drug exposed. We share joint legal/physical custody - at this time, due to her violent behavior toward me, she lives with me 33% of the time. She is being treated by a therapist and attends an alternative school. I had hoped that less time together and psychological treatment would better our situation, however, her violent behavior (she has kicked me, hit me) and is constantly attempting to fight. She breaks things, throws things and most of the time, I feel unsafe in my own home. My ex took her for a month and upon her return there has been no change. We are trying to work together, but at this point I feel it would be in the best interest of all concerned that she live with her father - at least until her mood swings and violent behaviors have subsided. My ex does not want her to live with him FT and I am unsure about what to do. I am afraid that her episodes will eventually escalate and I will end up with more than a bruised ribcage. Help!

N0help4u · Sep 1, 2013, 06:52 PM

My son was the same way. He is 26 and only starting to learn to control his temper. The main thing that calms him down is letting him vent. 'Getting rid of her' will only make it worse. The problem is that she very likely never bonded with you or any one. Divorce can be very hard on kids and if you don't give them the full attention they need some kids will not bond. Have you asked her during one of her better moments to try and explain what she feels is the problem and what she feels will help her to not have fits? You can not legally do away with your custody of her. Your ex can offer to take her as much as possible

N0help4u · Sep 1, 2013, 06:57 PM

Here are some sites that might help

Attachment Disorders & Reactive Attachment Disorder: Symptoms, Treatment & Hope for Children with Insecure Attachment

Tips to Help Restore Your Relationship With Your Child

*** You can research more on the search engine type
Bonding or attachment disorder + any of the following -->
Anger, divorce, violent, mental health issues, etc...

It is easy for people to say 'bad parenting' but until they have a child that has this particular anger issue they can't really understand. I had 4 kids and as the 1st CPS Judge I had said to the caseworkers, ''If she is such a bad parent why aren't her daughters acting out?''