[twindad2013]

OK my wife is pregnant with my child but I want to divorce her and gain majority of the custody of our son and daughter whom are twins and 18 months old.I have started documenting things on paper date,time,etc and have learned that there are days she doesn't even change one diaper,I do as soon as I notice.and twice while I've been doing something she has left the kids unattended in their booster seats while she sat in another room.and we now have a dog that she wanted and she sometimes gives the dog more attention than them.she just sits on the floor for the kids and thinks that's enough.she has even said and I quote"i think youve brainwashed the kids" because they enjoy me and come to me more.will any of this help me in court?I even have family that sees her these ways at times,could they be used if needed in court to verify how she is with our children?

[twindad2013]

And also get custody of the unborn child eventually.im just a young father learning everything for the first time.I don't want to be a total @ss

[ScottGem]

No one can predict what a court will do. Courts are still more disposed to given the mother primary custody unless they can be proven unfit. And I'm not sure you have enough to prove that.

Getting an attorney who knows the local courts will be very helpful.

[teacherjenn4]

You have 18 month old twins and your wife is pregnant. I'm not making excuses, but she could be exhausted. Have you thought of getting some help in the house for her? Are you home when she leaves the children unattended? Do you have family nearby that can help her while you're at work?

[Synnen]

There are a lot of questions I would have for you on a social level---do you realize how much of a jerk it makes you look to want to divorce your pregnant wife? Have you had her screened for depression? Because seriously---Post Partum Depression could be the reasons behind all of those horrible things you are accusing your wife of.

I also have an 22 month old, and I do leave him unattended (strapped in!) to a booster chair while he colors or eats so that I can have 5 minutes of peace in another room, or (heaven forbid!) use the bathroom all by myself. And I have just ONE child and am utterly exhausted most of the time.

Have you given your wife a full break anytime recently, where she can go out of the house all by herself and NOT because she's doing a chore like grocery shopping or running errands? Do you get up early with the children on the weekends so she has a day to sleep in? Do you help with housework? Laundry? Dishes? My husband and I had a pretty horrible fight a few weeks ago because he felt like I spent too much time "doing nothing" in my day instead of doing housework or playing with our son. It takes me 5 times as long to do ANYTHING with our son "helping" me, and it's not up to my old standards of doing it, and I agree that some days it looks like I have done absolutely nothing all day, even though I've worked my butt off all day and am exhausted.

Is the family that's stopping by offering to help your wife? Is she taking advantage of having another adult in the house to sit down and take a break while her children are attended to by someone else?

My husband had NO CONCEPT of all I did all day until I actually kept a running list accounting for all of my time... and I left him alone with our son and a list of the chores I do during the day and went out for 16 hours straight. Have you tried doing any housework while having sole care of your children?

I know this isn't answering your LEGAL question, but if I were the judge sitting on the bench hearing your divorce requests and custody demands, they'd be questions I'd be asking you---and if you actually have NOT taken full care of your children while trying to do anything else (shopping, chores, cleaning, laundry, etc), I most certainly would not be giving you full custody because you wouldn't have a clue what you were getting yourself into.

If you HAVE done all of the things above--I apologize if I have offended you. They ARE questions to be taken into consideration, however---especially screening your wife for depression instead of divorcing her.

To answer your LEGAL question: Anytime a parent wants full custody should be fully prepared for a long legal battle in courts, with a lawyer. You should plan for all sorts of nastiness, from both you and your wife, and you should be aware that your kids will be caught in the middle of it all. Full custody also does not exclude visitation, so you should be prepared for a visitation schedule and for not being able to move until the children are 18 so that the visitation schedule can be adhered to. If you are the sole breadwinner at this time, you should also expect her lawyers to push for alimony even as your lawyers push for child support---and your alimony may be higher than any child support she pays.

There is no way to predict how a court will react, and you would probably have to prove her to be a danger to your children to have her lose all custody.