[smartie77]

I met a guy on a dating site and we are miles away. We haven't seen each other, we communicate on Yahoo messenger and through emails. He texts me like everyday if I don't reply to see what he was going to say and he texted saying *he misses chattin to me*

Now he wants to come to my country for a holiday and he wants us to spend quality time together so he say.

My question is does this guy love me? He sound too good to be true?

[Fr_Chuck]

Is sex planned ? Not that it can not be, if both want it, but many men, (and women also) just to meet women and have sex with them. So do you know any of his friends, chat with them, know where he works, do you video chat at all times of day, even at his home. Not just email or chat, but video , so a wife sitting there would know, has he showed photos of home ?

And who is willing to move and live in the others country.

Can it work, yes, my wife and I meet online but lived only about 5 hours apart.
But I had to quit my job and move to be with her.

[WisperWill70]

It doesn't matter if you're 2 feet away from each other or a continent away. The relationship can grow or be a disaster. It all depends on your expectations, how you handle communication, whether you're opening or guarding your heart and, of course, time. I know a lot of couples who met online and lived in different countries work it out and unite. That said, it's a GREAT opportunity to "hide" and not let the other person see your real self... and when things do get hard (as they WILL and do with EVERY relationship) it's easier to hide-out and avoid things.

That's why you need you're a game level of commitment and communication for it to work. And that doesn't mean just relying on him to tell you how much he loves you and come visit - you have to work on the relationship instead of being a passive participant. And by passive participant, I mean you have to knock off these little games you're playing to one up him and press his buttons instead of authentically communicating and being real... ignoring his chats to see what he'll do. What are you, in 8th grade? Stop that. If you expect a long distance relationship to work out you have to be an adult, open and strong and not always be trying to figure your partner out and gauge his motives. Be yourself, be extremely honest, talk and communicate, open up... OR --- break up with him kindly and play junior high games with a local guy.

[smartie77]

No sex planned,we chat only on emails and Yahoo.no video calling and he's nevr asked me if we can chat on video or my number to call me.All we chat about is weather,how our day went,and can't wait to meet.

[talaniman]

Since you really have no clue who he is, or his character the utmost caution to protect yourself should be the rule. Learn a lot more than you know about his TRUE character, not the nice front to convince you he is safe and good.

BS looks good until you find out its BS!

[N0help4u]

You really need to get to know him better than how your day went. Like Talaniman said you need to learn quality, character, interests and so much more. Also do not send money. If he can come meet you on his own money that's great. Take your time and don't jump into anything.

[smartie77]

The thing is our time differs and to me he sounds like a busy man so we leave each other mails most of the time we don chat.

[N0help4u]

You can email h questions about him. Like what are your hobbies, what are some of your future hopes and dreams, what kind of music do you like, do you like pets, what are your favorite past times/entertainment...

[smartie77]

Thanks @Nohelp4u I will do that.

[Jake2008]

How long have you been chatting with this man.

How old are you, and how old does he say he is.

What country is he in, and what country are you in.

Why have you never even seen a picture of him?

[smartie77]

@ heart123 he's in Australia am in South Africa,yeah am in my late 20s,am scared of rejection,, @Jake a month now,am 26 he's 38,he's sendn me his pics

[Jake2008]

Smartie- you have to be smart about this, and pardon the pun.

Even under the most ideal circumstances, where the two of you were in the same country, and the same town, and information was easier to come by, a month is not long enough to know a stranger.

Before you make any decision about allowing him to visit, give yourself more time to get to know him. You have no idea what he could be hiding. A wife, kids, a criminal record, a drinking problem, women just like you in other countries.

The web makes it easy to be someone else entirely. You have no clue that he is who he says he is.

And don't be afraid to tell him that either. Simply that a month is far too early for a visit because you don't know him well enough.

[smartie77]

Thank you jack,he will be taking a leave from work in October so he thought he will come during that time.