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Hopelesslyinlov · Aug 30, 2013, 10:23 PM

I am madly in love with a younger guy who fluctuates between gay, straight and bi. This week he is straight. I know it is unhealthy for me. There have been times when I have instigated sex and times when he has. He is quite submissive when it comes to sex, but then there are times like right now when he says I have pushed him, although I know I have not. I know I have to move on, but it is killing me. Any advice?

N0help4u · Aug 31, 2013, 06:42 PM

He is the one pushing you by claiming you are pushing him. Realize that this will never be a 'normal' relationship since it seems based solely on his mood and ''friends with benefits on his terms sex''.
Give yourself more respect and tell him you no longer can handle a yo-yo on again off again relationship and it is time for you to seek someone that is going to actually have a solid one on one relationship with you.

talaniman · Aug 31, 2013, 07:07 PM

Stop seeing him, and don't use "can't" as an excuse. You are one of many, and you know it.

Jake2008 · Aug 31, 2013, 08:16 PM

Maybe the plus of all of this is, that you know he is not straight. You cannot take the bi and gay out of him, and be left with what suits you. He is honest enough with you that you know who he is.

What he isn't, is what you want, and it will not happen.

The quicker you realize that, the better you will be in finding someone more suitable to what type of relationship you are looking for.

You are wasting your time thinking this relationship will work.

Cat1864 · Sep 1, 2013, 06:01 AM

May I ask how old both of you are and, for clarification, if you are male or female?

Depending on how old and experienced he is, he may not know who he is or comfortable with what he needs and wants.

Are you positive you haven't taken advantage of his confusion to influence his thoughts/reactions to get what you want?

Go No Contact. Break off all forms of communication with him. Do not try to be his friend. Do not accept any communications from him. End your confusion. If you keep focusing on what you want but can't have, you will continue to hurt yourself.

Get involved in your own life and make changes to keep yourself from falling back into older patterns of behavior. Meet new people. Make new friends.

You may not want to believe it right now, but you can let go and move forward with your life. However, you have to give yourself support and encouragement.