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CristiLuvsMeli · Mar 30, 2007, 03:36 PM

:( Hi, well let me just tell you a little bitt about my dad, he's very hard headed and is closed minded! He is always talking all this mess about me under his breath or to my mom right in front of me! He says I'm lazy (which I'm not) I even help him do yard work! I do what I can to prove him wrong but no matter what I do I can't seem to make him like me! My dad doesn't look at me at all, not even to say hello, or goodbye.. he hates me! He wants me out of the house but I don't have a job that pays enuff to support me and my baby! My question is what can I do to gt the hell out? How do I make him change? What are my options on moving into a low income apartment?:confused:

Fr_Chuck · Mar 30, 2007, 04:07 PM

I would bet your dad loves you, but just can not cope with the baby, he most likely ( and this is my guess) believes he failed as a father some how, because he did not raise you right, because you went out and had a baby while you were still a child in his opinion.

Now I know some mature 17 year old girls, we havve one that comes here and I see a lot of wisdom in her answers, but then I see 17 year old come hear that act like 4 year olds at times.

And yes dads can be hard headed, and most likely wanted a lot better for you than the life you are heading for at this time ( low cost houseing and welfare)

How about saying OK life is tough, and also sorry helping with yard work, do you help and do your laundry, do you clean dishes, help with cooking supper, vacuum the house. And take care of the baby.
Not coming down on you, but most likey no you are not doing a lot or all for that, so yes I can see that he may thing you are not doing a full share.

And at 17 and most likely no hgih school dipolma you are not going to do much over clean motel rooms or ask if they want fries with that.

So sit down and talk to your parents, tell them you want to do something to better your life and for the life of your child. If you are not a high school grad, do that, then see about some job training or even college.

You need to look at making your future better, not just life tommorrom.

You work and pay now for some poor choices in life and work to make your life better in the future.

Jolly_rancher · Apr 3, 2007, 03:23 PM

I think maybe if you sat down with your dad and talked to him, he might listen to you. What you should probably say first is "Dad, I love you, I know I've dissappointed you and made you think you've done something wrong, but you haven't, you were the best dad in the world, before my baby came, and I don't want you to blame yourself for my actions, none of this was your fault or mom's fault. I brought this child on myself, it wasn't your fault, it was mine. You probably think that way because, in your opinion, I'm still a child. I'm really sorry dad and I love you so much and I want you to be apart of mine and my child's life. I love you so much dad!" Then you give him a hug and kiss and hope he's willing. Best of luck to you.

MrsJoseph06 · Apr 3, 2007, 03:29 PM

I agree with FR Chuck! Your Dad is probably disaponted in himself! I'm sure its hard for a parent to want the world for their children and for there child to not be able to get that opportunity! I hope you help out around the house more than just the yard work! You have to be an adult and I'm sure you have heard that a million times! But you are a mother you have to step up and you can't let your Dad make you feel bad about yourself! You have to be able to own your decisions! I wish you luck in your life!

kepi · Apr 3, 2007, 10:41 PM

Remember that when something of this caliber happens, parents tend to blame themselves. Fr_Chuck has said it all:D

Lotz_of_Questions · Apr 4, 2007, 01:18 PM

I got married at 17 and my dad was very upset. He wanted a different life for me. I also wanted to go to college, travel and enjoy life but I ended up getting married. I don't regret in and I love my husband.
My Dad was very upset and disappointed at me and himself. And like the others said. He felt like he failed as a Father. I would never visit my family cause my Dad would be mean to my husband and that would make me mad.
One day I decided to talk to him. I told him I was sorry for disappointing him, but I wanted him to know that I was happy and wanted him to be involved in my new life.
After we talked things changed.
Talk to your Dad and tell him how you feel. Finish school, make him proud. Just cause you have a baby doesn't mean you can't do it. Good Luck! Let us know how it goes! :)

kepi · Apr 4, 2007, 05:25 PM

I'm reading a book on parenting right now and it says that finding out your daughter pregnant (or gay/bisexual/transgender) is dealt with in the same way that said person would deal with the death of a loved one because they indeed suffer a loss- the loss of the hopes and dreams they had for the child.