[123raizaaa]

Me and my boyfriend were having a big argument and we both had alcohol in our systems. I wanted to go home as we were arguing and he didn't want me to to go, so I walked out his house to wait for a taxi and he followed. He was begging me not to go but I needed to! So he then grabbed me by the arm trying to take me back to his house and as he was doing this I was shouting abuse at him calling him everything then he pulled my hair.

He has now came to me breaking his heart telling me how much he loves me and he will go and get help because he doesn't understand why he done it, he's never done this type of thing before he is usually sweet towards me. He is truly sorry

What should I do?

[xo_sandra]

You can always go back to him because I actually went through something very similar to your situation , and I stayed with my boyfriend and it wasn't to long before he started hitting me and embarrsing me in front of my friends. He didn't want me going anywhere and always wanted me to be with him.now that I finally got rid of him and we finally had a conversation about the old us he admitted that he was very insecure because I was so beautiful and he was stressing over his own problems and didn't know how to handle his self when I was away from him.

[N0help4u]

How long have you been together? Encourage him to get the help before you give in to working anything out.

[N0help4u]

Ummm so sandra, here you were broke up with your boyfriend but in YOUR post you broke up with your girlfriend just the other day.

[smearcase]

Has he made arrangements to get help/counseling? He should be doing it whether you are willing to take him back or not. If he doesn't go (on his own initiative) and/or if you think he has an alcohol problem also, make a clean break.
If alcohol is going to be prevalent in both of your futures, that might outweigh any of the other factors (like counseling or promises) and maybe you should still go your separate ways.

[Jake2008]

I don't know how old each of you are- that would be helpful. Also to know if he has a temper that has worried you, or indicated in any way that he is controlling.

With alcohol involved, both of you were out of control. Not to excuse the behavior of either one of you, but an argument that turns into a full blown altercation, physically, out in the street, means at least one person out of control. That would be him.

You didn't recognize the fact that the argument was gaining momentum, and getting out of hand, and that when you did decide to finally leave, you didn't see that he wasn't through arguing simply because you decided to leave.

In other words, your behavior de-escalated, and his escalated.

What this says about him, is that no matter what, he was going to 'win', and if that took physical force, he would (and did) use physical force. You were lucky that nothing worse happened to you because when he was pulling your arm and hair, he probably thought that force would be enough to pull you back inside. Who knows what would have happened then.

Again, he was out of control.

Seriously think about the implications here. When two people in a relationship cannot talk, and instead argue, and then argue until it comes to physical violence, there should be no relationship. Period.

Set your standards a little higher. You have seen the character of this man up close and personal when things don't go his way.

They are ALL sorry- after the fact. When they calm down and are sober. He is not the first one to lament until the cows come home that he is truly sorry. But what you cannot forgive, is that it happened in the first place.

Without intervention on his part (meaning that he realizes he has a problem and needs help), and he seriously addresses it, and takes maybe an anger management class, or counseling or both, I would not accept 'sorry' as being some sort of solution to what is likely to become a much bigger problem than you think it will be.

So many women have been where you are now. He is sweet and thoughtful before, and after, he blows up. He's a great guy, except for the bruising on my arms and face. He is really stressed out and snapped, and that's why me saying he should do the dishes caused my broken ribs and black eye.

In other words, consider his behavior a warning of things to come. It won't get better, it will get worse.

[Homegirl 50]

You should leave him alone. Dealing with someone who drinks and gets physical is playing with fire

[LULU42]

Yes I agree with homegirl! And it just starts there if you don't let him know that him hurting you is absolutely unacceptable hair pulling will turn into slapping then punching and on and on if a man thinks its okay to hurt you or physically overpower you into submission that is a very dangerous sign.

[xo_sandra]

Me being with a boy was way in high school thanks for worrying about my life honey

[J_9]

me being with a boy was way in high school thanks for worrying about my life honey

I'm sorry. I don't understand what this has to do with the original post.

[xo_sandra]

Thank you

[J_9]

Sandra, do you have anything to contribute to the OPs question?

[joypulv]

Sandra posts as both a boy and girl, and then gets offended for being called to task.