[Pmward]

My dad passed away just over a year ago. There are five children and we all cared for him at the end of his life. I'm the second oldest and arranged and paid for the funeral. My older sister asked if she could have dads ashes in her house for a while which of course I agreed to. After a few weeks she said she would not allow us to have his back ashes in fear we would scatter them without her, which we never would have done. I did ask for them at Christmas time to which she responded by physically attacking me. I didn't press charges as I didn't want to aggregate an already delicate matter. It has now come to light that she has scattered them alone with her own family, she has told my mum, who was divorced from my dad, that there are some ashes left for us to scatter how we wish but she is still witholding them. My dad left instructions with his eldest son about how he wished his ashes to be spread and she has deprived him from fulfilling this wish he made to his dying dad. Is there any way I can get these ashes back. I cannot approach her as we are no longer on speaking terms since she attacked me.

[joypulv]

You don't say what country this is, but generally you have to sue in small claims. You may lose, because you allowed her to have them for a while without anything in writing. It's a sad situation that happens a lot. She may say they are all scattered or lie in other ways, and there is nothing anyone can prove. Try to realize that it's a small symbol that you can replace with other mementos she may not have. Plant a tree for him, do something, that eases your mind a little.