[Sad01]

Ok so lve been with my boyfriend 3 1/2 yrs have a 5yr old by another man but my 5yr old calls my boyfriend daddy we recently had a child together which the baby now is 8 months old I didn't know he didn't want to be with me till I saw a text message that was sent to his best friend stating that he was sick of being with me and has a plan up his sleeve to take my son because he has a feeling that if I leave he won't see him . I assume he feels that way because my 5yr olds father never wanted to be involved in my child life he was locked up serving 3 yrs I was 15 at the time and he was 21 now he came out when my 5 yr old turned 4 I tried letting him into her life but he continuously brush her off I went to court for child support and he hasn't cane to c her or hasn't given her anything he just vanished so I'm assuming this is the reason to why he thinks he might not c the baby so as I was saying he texted his best friend on some I'm tired of her shut I don't want to be with her I should have waited to have a kid if she tells me that she fuked someone else I'll be happy I want to take the baby and disappear so I didn't know eny of this till today can he take our baby away from me although I always assured him that if we were to break up I wouldn't neglect the fact the he is the baby's father and bring him to c him all the time honestly I saw what my 5yr old went threw I was their for the tears that broke my heart but my 5yr old surprised me and told me mommy I'm strong I don't need him I have a daddy which my 5yr old was refereeing to my youngest ones father what can happen especially now that I don't have a job I live in bklyn and I've been searching but no luck I have my GED my parents kicked me out young I'm living with my boyfriend the lease is under his moms name I can't get food stamps because of that I do get wic what can I do ?what will happen ? I'm scared I love my babies dearly I can't have nether one of them away from me :.(

[joypulv]

He 'can' physically pick up the baby and leave, of course. Is it legal? If he is on the birth certificate or is the known father by court ordered DNA testing, he can leave with the baby but can't disappear and prevent you from sharing him - by law. People do disappear all the time regardless. That's why we have marriage and custody. It's harder not being married.

You both have serious responsibilities here and need to show it. So sit down and TALK as calmly as you can, for the sake of both children. Don't even mention the text message, just say that you know he's unhappy.
Then go to Family Court and file for joint custody if it turns out that he really does want out (he might not really mean it, you know). The court will spell out all the details and financial support. If this puts you on welfare, so be it. Housing could be a problem while you wait, and you could even end up in a shelter for a while. If you have any kind of relationship with his mother, talk to her too. You need her as much as you need him.
DO NOT BRING UP THAT TEXT, EVER!

[ScottGem]

Is he the legal father (listed on the birth certificate, signed Acknowledgement of Paternity, had court ordered DNA testing?). If he is, then yes, he actually can take the child and leave. But he can't hide the child from you and a court would have to decide custody.

I would suggest you contact a support group for single mothers, to get help with dealing with this. He can't just kick you out of the apartment, but since you are not the leaseholder he can have you evicted.