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ola123 · Aug 17, 2013, 08:31 PM

We have been in a relationship for over 10 years. We knew each other from our university days. We finished from the same department, the same year. To cut the long short. He got an admission to study in Australia for his masters which is for 2 years. He recently turned in his thesis and his graduation will be by Nov/Dec 2013.

The issue is we haven't seen each other since he started his masters. We only chat via social media (FB,BBM etc). He told me recently that he's trying to work on his permanent residence in Australia. As a lady in her late 20's is it wise to wait for him. Knowing fully well it isn't easy getting a PR. More so, he has relatives he's staying with that are already citizens so he isn't desperate to get it, but believes he will get a PR in Australia.

talaniman · Aug 19, 2013, 05:35 AM

What are you waiting for and what's the final plan going to be for your futures?

Fr_Chuck · Aug 19, 2013, 06:22 AM

Yes why are you not there now ? Why are you waiting for anything ?

Couples in love, find a way to be together,

It sounds from the "tone" not what was said, that you do not see the reason to still be in the relationship

ola123 · Aug 19, 2013, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

What are you waiting for and what's the final plan going to be for your futures?

He wants me to be part of his life.He kips assuring me that all he is doing is for both of our future.It's just that I feel so concerned about the PR processing. Recently he told me that he needs to work for at least 2yrs before he can start applying for the PR.I'm just worried about it because my fear is that I wldnt want a situation whereby I wld be waiting in vain for him cause I isn't getting any younger.

joypulv · Aug 19, 2013, 09:13 AM

Huh? Why don't YOU go to AU is what everyone is asking? I don't get it. You are a college grad with a job? You have vacation time? Hop on over there and get a sense of how he feels for real, in person - not from strangers online. Find out if you like AU (and him, after all this time) enough to move there yourself. This isn't the 19th century where you wait for years for your man to send for you.

ola123 · Aug 19, 2013, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

yes why are you not there now ? why are you waiting for anything ?

couples in love, find a way to be together,

it sounds from the "tone" not what was said, that you do not see the reason to still be in the relationship

I'm working presently.I'm looking forward to doing my phD soon(prefarrably in australia).The issue is my work demands I spend 7yrs before I apply for a study leave.I av only spent 3yrs.I can as well resign if I choose to but I can't leave certainty for uncertainty.

Originally Posted by joypulv

Huh? Why don't YOU go to AU is what everyone is asking? I don't get it. You are a college grad with a job? You have vacation time? Hop on over there and get a sense of how he feels for real, in person - not from strangers online. Find out if you like AU (and him, after all this time) enough to move there yourself. This isn't the 19th century where you wait for years for your man to send for you.

Thanks so much.Well said!!

ola123 · Aug 19, 2013, 09:52 AM

*Preferably in Australia*

talaniman · Aug 19, 2013, 10:23 AM

I don't get people who talk everyday and can't make a plan. What the hell does a couple talk about everyday that they can't come to a conclusion on what the future expectations and plans are?

joypulv · Aug 19, 2013, 10:24 AM

Glad to hear that it's your job and schooling causing this dilemma, and not waiting to see what he says and does. Phew!

ola123 · Aug 19, 2013, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I don't get people who talk everyday and can't make a plan. What the hell does a couple talk about everyday that they can't come to a conclusion on what the future expectations and plans are?

LOL!! But seriously,I av come to realise that the issue is with guys generally.In an ideal situation, a lady can't force a guy who's not mentally and financially capable to start a family.Guys try to make sure they are fully ready to commit. Any pressure on them(guys) about where the relationship is heading by ladies will just make them(guys) distant.

joypulv · Aug 19, 2013, 03:05 PM

I see nothing wrong with being blunt with men when it comes to your biological clock.
Go see him, have a good time, look around to see if you like it there, get a sense of how glad he is to see you, and then tell him that your body can't afford to wait. (It can, but it's your choice when you want to start a family.) Go home, start dating again, and who knows what Aussie will do? He'll either be in agony from losing you and decide to compromise, or he won't.

ola123 · Aug 19, 2013, 03:29 PM

Thank you all for the comments.I'm rilly grateful for taking time out of your busy schedules to respond.