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itsAutum · Jul 31, 2013, 02:40 AM

I really love this boy and he's 15. I an 11. Would I be called a whore or slut or would he b made fun of. And would it b frowned upon.

Curlyben · Jul 31, 2013, 02:49 AM

What do your PARENTS say about this, as it is up to them at then end of the day.

Personally 11 is far to young to be "dating"

ScottGem · Jul 31, 2013, 03:13 AM

First, at 11, you are too young to really know that you are in love. Its simply a crush or infatuation. Second, you are also too young to date. If you think you "really love" this boy, then you are too immature to date.

Third, people should not think you are a slut just for dating. But a 15 yr old should have no romantic interest in a child and you are still a child. It is possible people will think the only reason he's dating you is to get into your pants.

Finally, this is all up to your parents. They control when you can start dating and who. So you should ask them.

By the way, has this boy giving you any indication he's interested in you? I can't imagine why a 15 yr old would be interested in a child unless to take advantage.

joypulv · Jul 31, 2013, 05:23 AM

When you are 20 and he is 24, 4 years isn't a huge difference.
But when you are 11, 4 years is enormous.
When I was your age, an older boy was nice to me (gave me a shirt when I was cold) and I spent hours ironing the shirt after washing it, trying to get it just right, folding it to put in a bag, taking it back out to iron some more. I think I was infatuated, but can't remember. I can't even remember who it was!
When you are 11, 15 isn't much different from a 7 or 8 year old having a crush on you. Sorry.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 31, 2013, 07:03 AM

Yes you would e considered many things if you dated a boy that much older than you

Homegirl 50 · Jul 31, 2013, 07:50 AM

A 15 year old wanting to date an 11 year old would be frowned on, (it is just not a normal thing for a 15 year old to even look at an 11 year old like that unless he has ugly things going on in his head) an 11 year old wanting to date would be seen as a child with a crush in a teenager.
As your parents what they think about this? Does this boy know you are crushing on him?

hixiefrance · Aug 18, 2013, 02:07 PM

Yes people will, my friend has dated 23-25 year olds and gets called these things every day, but if you like the guy, don't let people's opinions make your decisions.
Live your life for you, not for other people.
4 years older is quite a big age gap, think of the pros and cons of the possible situation.
Maybe talking to your parents about it too first might help?

joypulv · Aug 18, 2013, 02:14 PM

hixiefrance, you need to be careful. You are only 14. Saying ''if you like they guy, don't let people's opinions make your decisions" is very dangerous, when the older boy could go to jail and be on a sexual offender list for the rest of his life. Even if they didn't have sex he could be arrested for risk of injury to a minor, regardless of what they do or don't do together.
Please help give advice to teens, but not about anything like this. If we even get past the parental permission stage, we find out the country, state, etc, and local laws.

Alty · Aug 18, 2013, 02:15 PM

don't let people's opinions make your decisions.
Live your life for you, not for other people.

This is not good advice to give to a child. At the age of 11 she can't make her own decisions. What her parents say goes. If her parents don't want her to date at 11, then she's not legally allowed to date,no matter what she wants to do.

maybe talking to your parents about it too first might help?

This isn't an option. She has to have her parents permission, therefore she has to talk to them about it.

This isn't a 23 year old adult, this is a child. Children have to do what their parents say, especially when it comes to dating.

I would suggest that you educate yourself on the law before answering questions like these.

hixiefrance · Aug 18, 2013, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

hixiefrance, you need to be careful. You are only 14. Saying ''if you like they guy, don't let people's opinions make your decisions" is very dangerous, when the older boy could go to jail and be on a sexual offender list for the rest of his life. Even if they didn't have sex he could be arrested for risk of injury to a minor, regardless of what they do or don't do together.
Please help give advice to teens, but not about anything like this. If we even get past the parental permission stage, we find out the country, state, etc, and local laws.

I did say that she should talk to her parents about it first, and I personaly think that you should also not base your life on what other people think of you, which was all I was trying to say. I also said that she should think through that the pros and cons first, and that it was a big age gap. I was not trying to say that she should be with him.

hixiefrance · Aug 18, 2013, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

This is not good advice to give to a child. At the age of 11 she can't make her own decisions. What her parents say goes. If her parents don't want her to date at 11, then she's not legally allowed to date,no matter what she wants to do.

This isn't an option. She has to have her parents permission, therefore she has to talk to them about it.

This isn't a 23 year old adult, this is a child. Children have to do what their parents say, especially when it comes to dating.

I would suggest that you educate yourself on the law before answering questions like these.

Again, I wasn't trying to say that she should date him, or to ignore her parents, just not to let other people's opinions make a big impact on her life.

I probably said it wrong, I was just trying to suggest it in a nice way.

joypulv · Aug 18, 2013, 02:27 PM

No, you didn't say that she should talk to her parents first!
Please, you are in deep here. Stop while you are ahead, and say OK.
(You can even get kicked off the site by an administrator.)

Alty · Aug 18, 2013, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by hixiefrance

I did say that she should talk to her parents about it first, and I personaly think that you should also not base your life on what other people think of you, which was all I was trying to say. I also said that she should think through that the pros and cons first, and that it was a big age gap. I was not trying to say that she should be with him.

This is where you have to be careful.

You didn't say she should talk to her parents, you said:

maybe talking to your parents about it too first might help?

Read that sentence. It reads as "you don't have to talk to your parents, but maybe you should".

The fact is, telling her parents isn't an option. Doing what she wants to do isn't an option. That's what you're not understanding.

At the age of 11 she's not legally permitted to date unless her parents say it's okay. She has to have their permission. She can't just do whatever she wants, she has to base her life on what other people think, in this case, her parents.

This isn't a question about should she, it's a question about what's legal. If you can't factor that into your replies, it's best that you move on to another question where legal concerns aren't an issue.

If you're going to answer questions on this site, you have to give accurate advice, not just what you think is right or wrong. You have to post facts.

hixiefrance · Aug 18, 2013, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

No, you didn't say that she should talk to her parents first!
Please, you are in deep here. Stop while you are ahead, and say OK.
(You can even get kicked off the site by an administrator.)

I was trying to say it in a nce way that's all. But OK

joypulv · Aug 18, 2013, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by hixiefrance

i was trying to say it in a nce way that's all. but ok

Good. It's a learning experience here. Don't leave because of this!

Alty · Aug 18, 2013, 02:32 PM

again, I wasn't trying to say that she should date him, or to ignore her parents, just not to let other people's opinions make a big impact on her life.

You weren't trying to, but that's what you ended up saying.

I probably said it wrong, I was just trying to suggest it in a nice way.

If you can't say it right, then it's best not to post. This site isn't about telling people what they want to hear, or being nice. Yes, we try not to be mean, but you still have to post the facts, and give the proper advice. If you can't do that, it's best not to answer.

hixiefrance · Aug 18, 2013, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

You weren't trying to, but that's what you ended up saying.

If you can't say it right, then it's best not to post. This site isn't about telling people what they want to hear, or being nice. Yes, we try not to be mean, but you still have to post the facts, and give the proper advice. If you can't do that, it's best not to answer.

OK