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Santo523 · Jul 26, 2013, 04:47 PM

How old do you you have to be to be able to choose what parent to live with in the state of Washington. I'm 15 right now and I'm going to be 16 in October and I'm a boy. I really don't want to live with my mom I want to live at my dads house but my mom won't let me. She doesn't tell me why. When I ask her why I can't go over she just says 'your crazy' or sometimes she just ignores me. I only get to see him once a week for two hours. And he is just as fit to raise me, probably more than my mom. What can I do to be able to go live with him? I am actually just considering running away to his house

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2013, 05:10 PM

Running away to his house will not do a thing in your favor, and will most likely hurt your chances a lot.

Does he have any of your sibs at his house, or are you an only child?

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2013, 05:14 PM

To answer your question, in Washington, the court is the final determiner of this, but will consider the request of a child of sufficient age, maturity and intelligence to be making such a request.

Do you have those three things? What reason(s) would you give the judge to be in your father's custody?

Santo523 · Jul 26, 2013, 05:16 PM

I think it would actually be better because when the cops go looking for me I will tell them that I don't want to live with my mother. The cops won't hurt me or take me back if I don't want to, they won't put me in a head lock and drag me back to their car and take me home. Oh and I have an older sister that is 17 and a younger brother that is 10

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2013, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by Santo523

I think it would actually be better because when the cops go looking for me I will tell them that I don't want to live with my mother. The cops won't hurt me or take me back if I don't want to, they won't put me in a head lock and drag me back to their car and take me home. Oh and I have an older sister that is 17 and a younger brother that is 10

The police will return you to your mother. They have to obey the law and cannot take you to your father's house.

Where do your sister and brother live?

Santo523 · Jul 26, 2013, 05:22 PM

If I am at my dads house the police cannot take me back to my mothers house if I don't want to go. What are they going to do? Taze me? Shoot me? Even if they somehow get me back to my mothers house I would probably run away to my dads house again. My brother and sister live at my moms house.

ScottGem · Jul 26, 2013, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by Santo523

I think it would actually be better because when the cops go looking for me I will tell them that I don't want to live with my mother. The cops won't hurt me or take me back if I don't want to, they won't put me in a head lock and drag me back to their car and take me home. Oh and I have an older sister that is 17 and a younger brother that is 10

Where did you get these ideas? Your mom has legal custody of you, the cops are charged with upholding the law. So yes the police will use force if necessary, Plus they could arrest your father. And your father letting you stay will hurt his chances of getting custody in court.

If you want to live with dad, then dad has to go to court to change the custody order. At your age, the courts will give significant weight to your preference. But you can't choose. The decision will be made by the court. When you are 18 you can choose where you want to live. Until then the decision is made by the courts.

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2013, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by Santo523

If I am at my dads house the police cannot take me back to my mothers house if I don't want to go. What are they going to do? Taze me? Shoot me? Even if they somehow get me back to my mothers house I would probably run away to my dads house again. My brother and sister live at my moms house.

Yes, they can. Your mom has primary custody. The police have to obey that order whether you like it or not.

Obviously, there is a good reason why all three of you are in your mother's custody. And since you sound very immature with no idea of how the system works, I'm guessing a judge won't change where you live.

Is your father interested in going to court again to get custody of you?

Santo523 · Jul 26, 2013, 05:34 PM

Well first of all I'm speaking with the truth I'm not being immature and yes my father is interested in having custody of me and I guess I'll find out by myself goodbye everyone

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2013, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by Santo523

Well first of all I'm speaking with the truth I'm not being immature and yes my father is interested in having custody of me and I guess I'll find out by myself goodbye everyone

If you run away to his house, you will screw up possibilities of his getting custody.

I'm betting he has few or no rules and would allow you do whatever you feel like doing.

If your father wants custody of you (and why not your brother too?), then he has to go to court and ask for it.

Santo523 · Jul 26, 2013, 05:45 PM

I think I know what I'm doing and my dad is just like any other parent he has rules like any other good parent. The reason why I want to live with him is because me and my mom don't mix I don't like the things she does. When was the last time you saw a mom and a son working on a car together? My dad and I love to do things together and two hours a day every week isn't enough. My sister would rather stay with my mom because, when was the last time you saw a dad and a daughter going to the mall shopping and trying on clothes? Oh and I'm bringing my brother with me oh and I also like how you are quick to assume things... it's nice

ScottGem · Jul 26, 2013, 06:13 PM

You clearly DO NOT know what you are doing. First, you have no clue about what the police can and will do if you are a runaway. Second you do not understand that your dad HAS to return you to your mom or face being placed in jail for contempt of court.

What's worse here is everything you are talking about doing will make it HARDER for your dad to get custody of you. If you want your dad to have custody, then he has to do it legally. He has to go to court and petition for a change in custody. If he does anything other than that, he will be breaking the law and that will make it harder for him to get a court to give him custody.

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2013, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by Santo523

I also like how you are quick to assume things...it's nice

I assumed nothing. ScottGem, one of our knowledgeable legal experts, agrees with me. If your mom said "You're crazy," she must have good reasons she doesn't want her children with her ex-husband and was able to convince a judge of that. I'm guessing there is a lot more to this story than you know. There's a lot more to being a real dad than working on cars. (And yes, I know dads who go shopping with their daughters and moms who do all sorts of stuff with their sons. In fact, ask me about that -- I have two sons and have taught them how to plant a garden, how to cook, how to repair clothes and sew on buttons, how to care for their pets, how to shop intelligently, and the list goes on.)

N0help4u · Jul 26, 2013, 06:23 PM

Why don't you ask your dad why doesn't he go for legal custody for you?