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Mariam-z1 · Jul 5, 2013, 06:35 AM

I met a guy like 4 months ago. We started flirting and everything was going fine until I find out he was married which by the way he told me himself. And I told him to stay away me, and its not fair on me or the other girl. He was saying I like you and I have a wife. I don't know what to do, and I'm confused. He's 26. I guess he got married pretty quick. Anyway he agreed and then I don't know how it happened, we kissed. I feel extremely bad as I wouldn't like it if my husband cheated on me (I am not married).

But I notice something with this guy. It's like whenever another guy jokes with me he gets upset. I went for lunch with a guy friend, and when he saw us he got pretty upset. He wouldn't even want to talk to me, He's jealous but why is he even jealous? We don't even have anything together. We kissed yes and that's it. Just the last time he told me someone ask me for my number and he refused. He said I was married and he told me he couldn't tell the guy there was something between me and him. When I told him clearly there's nothing between us, he was shocked.

Why does he do like that? I can't even ask him about it as I know he will be changing the topic.

odinn7 · Jul 5, 2013, 06:42 AM

Same guy?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-731127.html

He's jealous because he's interested in you... it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. He wants to mess around with you and you showed him that it may be possible since you kissed him even after telling him you didn't want to get involved because he's married. It's a dangerous game you're playing.

J_9 · Jul 5, 2013, 06:43 AM

Okay, so if he's married why are you still seeing him?

I'm still shaking my head.

Mariam-z1 · Jul 5, 2013, 06:45 AM

Same group of friends

No not the same guy. Yes we kissed and that's it and it not going further I don't want it. I am not that kind of girl who will want to break someone marriage. For example he asked me if he could come down to mah house I say no sorry I am busy and he was like please M don't give me excuses. Don't you even think about it and simply say no I don't know and he got upset he goes in a corner moaning to himself

J_9 · Jul 5, 2013, 06:51 AM

"mah house?" What is a "mah house?"

You've already ruined his marriage once his wife finds out.

odinn7 · Jul 5, 2013, 06:51 AM

But you still kissed him even though you knew he was married... while you sit here and say it's not going any further. You showed him by doing that... that it is possible to go further. So now while you keep in contact with him, you are just a challenge to him and he feels you will give in. If you weren't interested you would have stopped hanging out with him and you would never have kissed him.

Mariam-z1 · Jul 5, 2013, 06:57 AM

Ok from today and it will be only hello and bye if I see him. I don't want nothing to do with him it got to stop

Sorry I meant my house

J_9 · Jul 5, 2013, 07:01 AM

This is going to be harsh. Very harsh, but you need to hear it.

By letting him kiss you, you are a homewrecker. You allowed this man to cheat on his wife, the one he took vows with, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, etc.

You KNEW he was married, but you did it anyway. You are as guilty as he is. I hope to God that he doesn't have children!

You see, it was a woman like you who ruined my first marriage. A woman like you who made my two oldest children have trust issues because their Dad "kissed" a woman and their mother left their father due to the cheating.

Ok from today and it will be only hello and bye if I see him. I don't want nothing to do with him it got to stop

Yeah, right. I don't believe it for a second.

N0help4u · Jul 5, 2013, 07:05 AM

You need to find a polite way to ignore him. Its not your problem if he sits back and shows jealousy. Your view point of putting yourself in his wife's shoes is the right way to start looking at this. If he is truly unhappy in his marriage, he gets divorced. Until then keep him off limits. But even then once divorced I'd be questioning his motives, and have a waiting period, he could just be obsessed with you and nothing more.

Mariam-z1 · Jul 5, 2013, 07:07 AM

I am sorry to hear that! But just to tell you know I am not like that. Don't you think the wife doesn't know he's cheating. Sometimes he doesn't he even go home he stayed at his friends place. And no he don't have kids. I know I am guilty and I honestly don't want him yes I kissed him and that's it. I don't even feel nothing for him. The only thing that bother me why would he even get jealous with who I am talking there's nothing between me and him and nothing will happen

N0help4u · Jul 5, 2013, 07:07 AM

I forgot to mention that you shouldn't even mention divorce or any type of interest either. Just ignore him and if his marriage fails it should not fall back on you in any way by any hopes so you do not want to have any type of conversation that may look like hope for the two of you

Mariam-z1 · Jul 5, 2013, 07:09 AM

Thanks for your advice I appreciate it :)

N0help4u · Jul 5, 2013, 07:09 AM

Okay so you have 0 interest in him. Like I said politely ignore him and tell him flat out in so many words that your social life is none of his business since he is married and you are single and can see whomever you want and its none of his business so get over it.

Mariam-z1 · Jul 5, 2013, 07:15 AM

I will try to do it if I see him. He's always saying to me you like me and I know it you saying something and your heart and eyes saying something else. I honestly don't want anything with him, that was my mistakes I kissed him back he must be thinking I liked him. I want to get out of this mess I don't want to be in a situation like that

odinn7 · Jul 5, 2013, 07:48 AM

Originally Posted by Mariam-z1

II kissed him and that's it. I don't even feel nothing for him. The only thing that bother me why would he even get jealous with who I am talking there's nothing between me and him and nothing will happen

I already told you why he gets jealous... it's fairly easy to figure out.

Originally Posted by Mariam-z1

He's always saying to me you like me and I know it you saying something and your heart and eyes saying something else. I honestly don't want anything with him, that was my mistakes I kissed him back he must be thinking I liked him. I want to get out of this mess I don't want to be in a situation like that

MOST women will not kiss someone if there is no interest... so the fact that you kissed him shows him that you're open. Honestly? I think you LIKE the attention you're getting and I don't see you stopping.

N0help4u · Jul 5, 2013, 07:49 AM

He is trying to play head games with you.

Mariam-z1 · Jul 6, 2013, 03:50 PM

Glad to say we don't talk anymore its over!

odinn7 · Jul 6, 2013, 04:03 PM

So you've gone a whole day without talking to him? A whole day? Good job.

J_9 · Jul 6, 2013, 09:31 PM

Glad to say we don't talk anymore its over!

Really? It's only been one day. Do you have so much self control to make it 2 days? 2 weeks? 2 months? I doubt it.

Jake2008 · Jul 7, 2013, 06:36 AM

I don't think it's over yet, and you have not described why you are attracted to him. I believe despite all your reservations, that there is a strong attraction to this man, married or not.

If you are serious about ending this with him, and not leaving any doubt that there is no way you will have even a friendship with him, then you must take further steps to make your point.

Right now, he's probably thinking you're playing hard to get, and he will only try harder.

Tell him that there are many ways you can get him to stop having contact with you, even if it's just a friendly hello. You can tell him you will tell his wife that he won't leave you alone; you can tell him that you will inform your friends and family that he won't leave you alone (remember he doesn't want anybody to know), and if he still continues to contact you, drive by your home, text you, show up at your work, etc. then you will seek a restraining order.

You have to get serious here and send a strong message that married men are off limits.